Amsterdamn, I'm confused

Sorry for the obvious pun.

I'm confused about a lot of things. I will enumerate them:

1. How to get around Amsterdam! I got turned around so many times. If I go back, I might actually take a compass. Nah, I'll probably just get lost a lot again. I don't know why, it's just hard to navigate.

2. If I'm even in the right place. I got a tour of the CS building here- it's just a few rooms in one building, really. Both my classes are being taught by the same professor. It's not a big department- I don't know why I got the impression that it was. Also, none of my classes are even taught in the "problem-based" format that U. Maastricht is known for. So will they be good classes? Will I learn anything useful? Will they give me any insight into what it is that I want to do with my life? And then, second half-semester, I'm basically taking a break. Yeah, five-day weekends are nice, but is it worth it? This is not my biggest concern, because the classes mostly all satisfy requirements, and it's about the same degree of difficulty that I've taken in the past, and you don't study abroad for the classes.

3. This isn't a confusion, but an update on the Amsterdam trip: I've complained about the Paris trip, and this Amsterdam trip was about half the same. The first day, they shuffled all 16 of us through a canal tour, the Anne Frank House, our hotel, and the "Boom Chicago" comedy show. The next day they shuffled all 16 of us through the Heineken Experience and the Rijksmuseum. This was frustrating. Then they let us go, and that was neat. I checked in to the hostel, went to dinner with some folks from our group, then split off and wandered all night. Got back late, got up early, rented a bike, and wandered some more, passing the Waterlooplein, Nieuwmarket, and seeing the Oude Kerk. Tried to meet some friends at the Van Gogh museum, failed, saw the Van Gogh museum, and wandered some more.

My thoughts on the attractions:

Canal tour- meh. "On the left, you see the golden lions on top of this house, which used to belong to Pieter Brooge de Hoog" and so on. I don't like guided tours. That said, the canals are very nice, and maybe my favorite part of the city.

Anne Frank House- more moving than I thought it would be. Still, the house itself is just a few empty rooms, but you do get to see the size of it, and also the feeling of being crammed in these rooms for two years. Eep. And then you see scenes from the concentration camps, and I thought about a week and a half ago when it was cold and I was stumbling home with what turned out to be a stomach bug/fever/etc, and I felt awful, but I knew I would be home in 15 minutes and then I could lay in a warm bed all I wanted, and I thought about how many concentration camp prisoners were sick and cold (without a coat) and hungry besides, and stumbling back maybe to a freezing barracks so they could sleep for a couple hours before they had to get up the next day and work, and by the way there's this whole threat of being killed all the time, and I can't imagine how anyone survived! So, in short, worth a visit if you're in the area.

Boom Chicago- pretty lame comedy show. Half improv, half scripted. Yeah, comedy is hard, as I know firsthand, but there were so many stale jokes (the show was called "Me, Myspace, and iPod" and it ended up being a bunch of jokes about Myspace and iPods, which might have been funny five years ago) and the improv was not even that good. Plus they were Americans, and most of the jokes were about Americans, so it was only culturally interesting for the "this is what Americans think Dutch will find funny, as a parody of America" sort of thing, not "what the Dutch actually find funny" (although, admittedly, any Dutch comedy show would be, well, in Dutch.)

Heineken Experience- stupid fun. It's not even a brewery anymore, but sort of a museum-exhibit of Heineken. Kind of cool to see how they make beer, but then I was at this kiosk and they played a prospective Heineken commercial and asked me what I thought, and I realized I was doing research for them, and I paid for it. But there were some free beers. But it was 11 AM. It's amazing how pumped my friends got for free beers. Look, they're not "free"- you paid for them as part of your admission! But people love paying for something, and then getting something else as a "free bonus" along the way. Someone should use that fact, for good or for evil.

Rijksmuseum- really cool! It's about half Dutch historical artifacts and half Dutch art. Overall, something like 15 rooms, so very manageable. And we got an audio guide headphones set, which is usually annoying, but was kind of neat. They had huge scale models of ships, big old dollhouses owned by rich merchants, silver pieces, and a couple paintings that I even recognized. And the Night Watch! Is it lame to really like that painting? It's kind of like Rembrandt's "Hey Ya" in that he did a lot of other cool stuff, and people even know it, but it's really his one big hit. But it's really cool! Here it is, check it out. If you go to Amsterdam, you should see this museum.

Waterlooplein- a big crap market. You may be familiar if you've been to New York.

Nieuwmarket- a square where they have a food market. I would have been more excited if my state of mind had been better after visiting Waterlooplein.

Oude Kerk ("Old Church")- is a neat church, and a welcome respite after the rest of Amsterdam, and more about that later. The church itself is big, and it looks like only the middle of it is used for the church service, which is interesting. There are also a couple of neat things in it; I don't know why. Find them in my photos!

Van Gogh Museum- also pretty neat, and I managed to get in for free, so that was a good deal. I like how they showed his paintings by the time periods in which he painted them. I think my mom would have appreciated it a lot more than me, or I would have appreciated it more if I went with my mom. Still, some of the paintings were very cool. I was really tired by this point.

Red Light District- right, how could I forget? We walked through there on Thursday night, when we were still all in a clump of 15 people. Never travel anywhere in a group of 15 people. The whole red light scene was pretty surreal- you're on a beautiful canal, and it's nighttime, and there are lighted shops and places, and it could be very nice, except that the shops are all advertising sex shows and other scandalous things, and everyone around you is either skeezy or a tourist, and there are a bunch of windows, with prostitutes boldly displaying themselves and maybe knocking on the window at you. All with red lights and black lights, which would really make for a cool canal scene! Except there are prostitutes boldly displaying themselves and maybe knocking on the window at you.

4. Okay, I'm confused about Amsterdam. How can you have a city that apparently builds its economy on fast food (which was plentiful and much better than American fast food because you can get things like falafels, kebabs, stir-fries, waffles, and herrings on every corner) and yet has a reputation for being one of the coolest cities in Europe? Well, okay, maybe because you can smoke pot on every street corner coffeeshop (and even in the streets, maybe? We did once, and nobody stopped us) or get mushrooms, herbal XTC, or a lot of other soft drugs cheaply and legally. Also you can gamble or get a hooker, if losing money and STD's are your thing. There are a lot of cool squares, like the Leidseplein (billed as Amsterdam's Times Square, and I'd take the Leidseplein any day, despite how over-the-top Times Square is). Neat shops and so on. But I left it feeling like I'd spent a total of maybe 12 hours wandering and not finding anything except more awesome fast food places. Maybe this is Amsterdam's fault, or maybe this is because of my next confusion:

5. What do I want to do when I travel? I don't even know. My old answer would have just been "wander." Walk around for a while, you'll probably see something cool. Or better: wander with a destination. Say I want to see the Rijksmuseum... just walk down a few streets until I make it there. If I don't, no worries. But after finishing this trip with aching feet and a hollow feeling in my stomach, I'm not so sure. Here are some things that are not my goals when I visit a city:
- Party. Honestly, I don't really care about the nightlife in a city that much. If I find myself in a cool bar, neat, but it's not a priority.
- Do drugs. This was not my priority in Amsterdam, and it's illegal in about every other country. If I want to smoke pot or do shrooms, I can do it in Maastricht, and I'll do it when I find good friends.
- Hit up the touristy stuff. The Eiffel Tower is the quintessential example of this. People feel like they have to see it, so they do. I don't.
- Buy souvenirs. Goddamn it, I don't want to buy a souvenir! No! I can remember things by myself, and with pictures. And souvenir shops are the most touristy places there are. Whoever invented the souvenir business is really a shrewd dude, because he made a lot of people buy a lot of crap. By the way, if I don't send you a souvenir, sorry; it's not that I don't care, it's just that I don't think the best way for me to show my appreciation for our relationship is to buy more crap that nobody needs.
- Shop. I buy clothes about never anyway. If I want clothes, I'm not so much of a sartorial gourmet that I need to go to shops in other cities.
- Take tours. No! I do not want a guided tour!

So what do I want to do? Arrg... that's the question. I'd like to get a feel for what life is really like in the city. I don't know if you can do that in a weekend without knowing someone who does live there. Here are some things that I like:
- Cool museums. I don't want to museum-hunt, and hit them all until I check them off my list. More than a couple per city is probably overkill. But there are some cool things in museums, and sometimes it's nice to see them.
- Good food! I want to experience the best of every city. However, this is often expensive. I mean, always expensive.
- Events. Festivals, concerts, whatever- if I go to a city for a reason, that's cool.
- Churches. I've been liking these more recently, and the Oude Kerk sure was a breath of fresh air after the streets and streets of souvenir shops and great fast food.
- Markets. I do like markets. Remember when I freaked out about the Pike's Place Market? Not too much, though: like the Waterlooplein was the end of my rope. I was not in the mood to look at junk anymore.
- Streets of shops and restaurants. And here's the trouble: why do I like cool stores? Because you can buy cool things in them? So I'm as much of a treasure hunter as anyone else, but I just mask it a little bit by not going to touristy shops.

I kind of just want to "be". So when someone says "Do you know Amsterdam?" I can say yes, yes I do know Amsterdam, in every sense; I can tell you where to go and what to see, and if we had a mind-melding link I could give you the feeling that I got when I was there. This is a vague goal. But I guess I just made a list of what I want to do. Hmm. Maybe I'm not so confused.

6. Whom do I want to travel with? Still an issue.

But I'm not confused about this: I am going to a Dutch Restaurant tonight, complete with Dutch Food, and I am excited. Time to go!

Look! I have pictures!

They are here!

Man, you leave for a couple weeks and all this music happens

I just found out that, since I've been gone (sort of), the new Of Montreal, Shins, and Earlies discs came out. Great! I guess I actually have the Shins. But the Earlies and Of Montreal; I am stoked to hear them both.

Meanwhile, I've been listening to Of Montreal's "The Sunlandic Twins" over and over. Man, is it good! It kicks off with the fun "Requiem for o.m.m. 2", rolls along into "I was never young" and "Wraith pinned to the mist and other games" (aka that Outback steakhouse song), two great songs layered over thumpy drum-machine basslines that actually make ME want to dance (!). And THEN you hit the pinnacle of the album, either "The Party's Crashing Us" (featuring the lyric: "We make love like a pair of black wizards/ you free me from the past/ you fuck the suburbs out of me") or the nearly sonically perfect (I don't know if it's acoustically perfect like Peter Gabriel) "So Begins Our Alabee". Then it gets a little dreamy and psychedelic. But when your "worse half" of the record includes hits like "Oslo in the Summertime" and "The Repudiated Immortals", that's a good disc. Everyone's abuzz about Kevin Barnes's songwriting, and rightfully so. This work is a gem, and I can't wait to hear his next.

Also, and less notable: DangerDoom's "The Mouse and the Mask" (an annoying circle jerk between Danger Mouse, MF Doom, and Cartoon Network... if you've heard it, you know what I mean) and Matthew Freidberger's "Holy Ghost Language School" (which, as usual, is interesting, but Hey Matt, layering some noodly piano nonsense over you telling some noodly story in hushed tones isn't ALWAYS actually a song.).
Equally notable, but I don't know how so: Scott Walker's "The Drift." Have any of you listened to it? This guy sounds like an opera singer or something. It's kind of haunting. I can't bring myself to listen to it again, because I need a mental boost right now, not a giant downer. Plus it's slow.

Paris: Better than you might think

I got better! And so I went with the other American students to Paris on Thursday night. It was a very cool city! Something about it seemed sleek, modern, full of neat nooks and crannies, and worth exploring. Why did I think it wouldn't be? I don't know. It's kinda passe. You know, Amsterdam is the new Paris, and Prague is the new Amsterdam (and Kiev is the new Prague). It's so 20 years ago.

That of course doesn't make sense, because really, none of those cities are the new anything else.

The Latin Quarter in particular stands out, maybe because it's the only area we had time to explore. And we saw the Louvre, which is overwhelming of course, but I saw a lot of cool things and promptly forgot most of them. Here's where I pretend to be actually knowledgeable about art or some nonsense, and list a couple favorites, though:
- the Wedding Feast at Cana, by Veronese, which was in the same room as the Mona Lisa, and more interesting in my opinion. (plus it was huge- maybe that had something to do with it- and I hadn't seen pictures of it 100 times before)
- the paintings of the four seasons by Nicolas Poussin, with the seasons depicted as Bible scenes.
- well, the Code of Hammurabi, because it's kind of cool to be looking at the oldest system of law in recorded history.
Saw Versailles too, and wished I had more time to see the gardens, and also wished it was a time when trees had leaves. Also the Hall of Mirrors was being renovated.

Umm... the trip itself was kind of terrible. There were about 15 of us students, and we were ferried around on a bus. We had to stay together for most things. I mean, we'd get to Versailles, and they'd say "go see Versailles, and meet back here before lunch in 2 1/2 hours" and then we'd all go to the same place for lunch, etc. Ever been on a guided bus tour like that? It's pretty much the worst. We ate at a couple mediocre restaurants (didn't even get to try any of the famous French food, beyond a crepe here and a quiche there), and they tried to do stuff like walk through the Latin quarter with 15 people, and someone would stop in a shop, we'd all wait. What?! Please, we're adults! It was killing me. I didn't even get to go to Chez Berthillon! At the same time, I felt so sorry for our two young guides from the CES, so I didn't want to make too much trouble, but I had to just leave a couple times. What's wrong with "meet at ____ at 4:00"? Or even "Have a good day, see you at breakfast tomorrow"?

And finding people to travel with may be difficult. A lot of students here (and I'm just saying; I'm not comparing or disparaging or anything) seem to like to party more than explore. I like partying fine, too, but when I'm visiting a city like Paris, I want to get up kinda early, go see Paris all day, walk a lot through interesting neighborhoods, eat some French food, and try to get some kind of a feel for the city. Probably collapse into bed relatively early, because I will be tired. Drinking, clubbing, partying... I could do those anytime (and they're not my favorite things in the first place!). Not so big a deal when I'm traveling.

I think a good idea is this: pick a spot and say "I'm going to _____. I'm planning on getting up relatively early, walking a lot, speaking as little English as possible, exploring as much of the city as possible, maybe going to museums or whatever sounds interesting, not necessarily staying out late and partying... who's with me?" Everyone will probably say "Yeah! I want to go to ____ too!" and 15 people will want to go. Then I'll have to clarify. Hopefully this will work out.
(note that I'm not saying I don't want to go to bars or drink or whatever; just not in place of what I'm there to do)

So... in general, any Maastrichters who are reading this, anyone want to go to ____ with the above strategy? I'm thinking of starting with Benelux, Germany, France, Switzerland, and Austria (can you tell I just bought a 5-country railpass?).

In the meantime, next week is Amsterdam. Awesome city (or so I hear); don't want to be herded around. We'll see how it goes.

Ik spreek niet vloiend Nederlandse of Duits

See, and I don't even know if the grammar was right there. "I don't speak fluent Dutch or German" and I am really wishing I did! I figured I could just sort of wing it and pick it up along the way, but it is harder than I had thought.

In St. Anton, for some inexplicable reason, almost everyone spoke English as well as German. Well, partially explicable: I guess lots of British skiers go there. It made for awkward starts to conversations- I'd start with a little bit of the only German I knew ("Woher kommen Sie?") and then most English speakers would switch to English, realizing that I am a gringo, and most only-German speakers (all three of them) would rattle off a lot of German things, to which I would mostly smile and say "Ja." I hope they were being polite. ("I am from Germany. Is it okay if I push you off the chairlift?")

The net result is that I ended up speaking a lot of English with other English speakers. Still an interesting group: it included a lot of Germans, some Danes, a couple Israelis, Austrians, and a Texan. But I did manage to have a few meaningful conversations in German. Here are some of my St. Anton 2007 greatest hits:

Me: Ein currywurst, bitte. ("A currywurst, please")
Josef, the snack stand (Imbissstube) owner gets me a currywurst as I look in my wallet and realize that I have only a EU$50 bill.
Me: Kann ich mit funfzig Euro zahlen? ("Can I pay with a $50?")
Josef: Ehhh... ok.
Me: Danke.

Me: Guten morgen!
The lady who made breakfast at the place I stayed, whose name I never actually found out: Guten morgen!
Me: Bin ich der erst? ("Am I the first?")
Her: Ja! Aber, man muss erst sein! ("Yes! But someone must be first!")
Me: Ja, das ist treu. ("Yes, that is honest." In retrospect, I think "richtig" is the word that actually means "true.")
I think she also threw in something like "Haben sie gut geschlaft?" to which I correctly responded "ja" and I think I also asked "Wo kann man die Skibus finden?" (Where can one find the ski bus?) I was feeling really pumped that day.

Me: Ich muss nach Maastricht, die Niederlande, gehen.
Train station guy: (a whole lot of German, and then he hands me two routes, pointing to one and saying "das ist der billiger" ("this is the cheaper one"))
Me: Das ist billiger? Ok.
Him: (A whole lot of German. Probably "Yes, and there is a very scenic view of the Rhine, but it will be crowded, complete with screaming babies, and it takes you so close to Maastricht but yet so very far. Also there is no water unless you pay a lot." All of which was true!)

So it's been a rocky road so far. In the Netherlands, everyone speaks English, but of course they speak Dutch first, so you don't understand a bunch of Dutch people talking. All the signs are in Dutch, too. That makes it partially fascinating (like grocery shopping is cool, and it seems very cheap too, but of course it's in Euros) but partially alienating. I wish I had gone to somewhere that I knew the language. That's not true; if I wanted to do that I could go to South or Central America, Spain, or England, which would all be cool, but not yet I don't think. Rather, I wish I learned a language that is spoken in west-central Europe (like German) and gone to study there. I mean, that's not true either; right now I'm entirely enamored with the Dutch. I'll try to take a language course while I'm here, so hopefully by the time I leave, I'll be able to blend in a little bit.

Well, hey. Tonight or tomorrow I'll be in Paris, so I'll be a complete foreigner, and quite the tourist, and the French people, who are not nearly so friendly as the Dutch, will actively sneer at me. That's life!

I like this city!

I'm in Maastricht now. It's very nice! It is sort of the way I think a city should be: everything pretty close together, a few ancient cathedrals and town squares, lots of restaurants and bars and cafes, and few cars. This is the initial stage of coming to a new place, the sort of euphoria, I guess, which is a great thrill.

However, as much of an upper as that is, here's a downer: I'm pretty sick. Stomach problems yesterday, and now I just feel kinda weak and cold. Actually getting sick (beyond just a cold) is pretty much a bummer. Especially when you're in a new place, you don't actually know anyone, and you're sort of stuck with laying in your bed all day while everyone else is having fun and doing orientation things.

And tomorrow everyone's going to Brussels and Paris! I can't believe it! They have a (expenses-already-paid) trip to those two fantastic cities planned for us, Thursday to Saturday, and I'm going to be sitting at home, sick and bored. Unless I get real much better overnight, which would be quite nice. I'm trying to keep it all in perspective, and it's sort of easy because all I have to do is go lie down and then I feel great, but it's tough because everyone is going to Paris and Brussels tomorrow!

So it goes.

Alp alp alp alp

Here I am, in the Tyrolean Alps. On a train right now actually, but that's only because I haven't had time to write during the last week. Well, that's false; I had plenty of time. If I could trade an hour of time for an hour's worth of energy, I may have done it a couple of times. (Not too many though.)

I was skiing in St. Anton am Arlberg. It is something else. I'd say the best place I've ever skied, but it wasn't, entirely; it was better in a lot of ways than my #2 (Vail, I guess) but when you're comparing your mountain to Vail, it's understandable if you come up short in some respects. I'll just say they're different. This is clearly true, and it doesn't tell you anything. One of the best pieces of advice I got in the last year (from Ram, I think?) was that two things can be different without one being better than another.

Longwinded introductions aside, here's a (longwinded) summary of my adventures:
1. The mountain itself must come first. Because, while I am a traveler second, I think I'm still a skier first. (this is subject to change.) Here's a trail map. That may not tell you anything. I think it's bigger than anywhere else I've ever skied, mainly because St. Anton itself includes the main mountains (Valluga, Galzig, Gampen, and Kapall), another big mountain across the street called the Rendl, and a little area called Stuben. Using the same ticket, you can also ski Lech and Zurs. There's a place on the map called Sonnenkopf, too, and also a little area in Pettneu. A lot of these are accessible by bus, but if you are awesome and/or you have good snow, you can ski from one to the other. For example, if you're about 3 badass levels above me (myself being a sort-of-mediocre ass), you can ski off the top of the Valluga (which requires 3 gondolas to get to) down to Zurs, then ski the "white ring" around Zurs and Lech.

See, in the Alps, there aren't so many trees. It's all above the treeline, so it's a lot more open. If you look at a map of a ski area in the states, you see certain trails, which are naturally created by trees. (and/or logging.) In Europe, they don't have this natural restriction, so they could just let you take a lift up and ski wherever you want. But then a lot of people would fall on rocks (it's so craggy!) or get avalanched, so they create "pistes" by putting up signposts on both sides of a "trail" where they want you to ski. These are groomed, covered by ski patrol, and protected against avalanches. They also make "ski routes" which have just one line of posts. They say "ski near the posts." Ski routes are avalanche-protected, but not groomed or patrolled. And then you can go backcountry if you want, like in the US, but you're on your own, and if you get avalanched, they won't really help you out. Anyway, this makes for a less interesting skiing experience than the US, because there are fewer ski routes, and fewer still good ski routes. Maybe this was because of:

2. The weather. You know, worst in 50 years, etc. That's life! There hasn't been any snow here since early January, so Wednesday was pretty okay. Nicely groomed, kinda thin and icy in some spots. Thursday was okay too. It started raining in the afternoon. On Friday the newspapers read "ORKAN UBER OSTERREICH" ("Hurricane over Austria"). 90kph winds closed almost the entire mountain. I didn't even ski!

Let me tell you something about rain. You'd think rain would help snow. You know, they're on the same team! Come on guys, work together! But it turns out, rain melts snow. Sneaky backstabber. So a driving rain is actually terrible. Plus, all your ski gear is just "water resistant" ("waterproof" stuff doesn't breathe well enough for skiers) so you get soaked. Skiing in the rain is like golf in a desert. It's like poker where the only cards are deuces, fours, and jacks. It's like Trivial Pursuit with some jackass who memorizes all the cards.

On Saturday, however, I found that rain at lower altitudes can make snow at higher altitudes, so there was some fresh stuff. Nice day. "Schindler Kar" on Valluga and "Riffel" at the Rendl were gorgeous.

(and that's another thing: I realized I can't explain to non-skiers why it's so fun to ski on powder, or on bumps, or anything else. I could say skiing powder is like floating, but so is sleeping on a waterbed, and that just sucks and gives you back problems. And skiing bumps is pretty much all about looking good, which sounds so superficial, but it really is, and that doesn't make any goddamn sense until you've done it.)

Okay, so my experience at St. Anton was a little below Vail and probably on par with Copper or Loveland in terms of actual skiing. Given good snow, St. Anton would probably win hands down. But here's why I liked it otherwise:

3. Austrian skiing culture. It is different! The guidebooks will tell you this too. I'll split it up by resort, because it's not fair to say "American skiing is like this or Austrian skiing is like that" because of course it all varies. Skiing is about:
Arapahoe Basin/Vail (back bowls)/Breckenridge (top of mountain)- skiing well on awesome terrain
Loveland/Zurs- being a local and finding the new snow while everyone else goes to the big resorts
Breckenridge/Keystone/Killington- taking the family, standing in line a lot, wondering why the snow isn't better
Vail (front side)/Aspen/Lech- looking good in your fur coat and/or Dior ski suit.
St. Anton- great skiing and having a good time. It's a little different than anything I've skied in the US. There's a lot of emphasis on apres-ski, the lunches are better, and the nightlife is more active. Oh yeah, and I can go to the bars, because they have reasonable drinking ages.

Apres ski was a pretty new concept to me. The lifts close at 4 or so (while the sun's going down anyway) and you're there, so why not hang out and drink? It's a little crazy; I apres-skied at Mooserwirt (a big and popular bar) a couple of days, and it's a big party! Around 3:30, they dim the lights inside, pump up the volume inside and out, start serving a whole lot of beers, and play this shitty, shitty Eurotrash music. (i.e. AC/DC, Bon Jovi, remixes of stuff like "Everybody Dance Now", German and Austrian carnival songs, and some German song that sounded like "Hey! Beware the ice-bear, say! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!" over and over again) And everyone drinks a few of these beers, sings along, dances in their ski boots, and semi-drunkenly revels until they get tired or until the bar closes at 9. Then they ski down a couple hundred feet, maybe take a shower or get changed, and keep going in the bars until late! I don't get it! How do they do this? I couldn't stay up past 11. Of course, I'm kinda in the A.Basin/Vail back bowls crowd above: for me, skiing is all about the skiing. This was fun, though, and it'd be more fun to come back with some friends.

Speaking of which, 4. The people you meet. I was a little nervous about traveling alone. What do you do, if you have no friends to hang out with? The answer was provided for me by Drew, a guy I met on Wednesday: Just get used to traveling alone. If you travel with friends, they are your friends; if you travel alone, everyone's your friend.

This guy was like one possible version of me in a few years. Mid-20's, mechanical engineer at Dell in Austin. Making a bunch of money, so he's traveling all over to snowboard. A couple weeks after this trip, he was going to Jackson Hole. Living the dream (or at least my dream). But still free-spirited to realize that he could drop it all if he wanted. He said he loves his job, and if he didn't, he'd quit; sell his Corvette and big-screen TV. Move in with a friend, if need be. He was very friendly and outgoing, something I have to work on, but his existence kinda gives me hope: I can have great friends and a fulfilling job and still ski, travel, and eat nice food. Maybe he's less picky about his food, and that's why he bought an expensive car. Whatever. We skied together at St. Anton and Zurs on Thursday, until it got rainy and I lost him somewhere. Never saw him again. Hope he's all right. That's the life of a "single-serving friend" (to use an overly negative phrase from the disgruntled narrator in Fight Club).

Friday I hung out at Mooserwirt with a few Berliners (people, not donuts). Good-spirited bunch. They introduced me to the difference between asking for a "bier" (for which you get a pilsener) and "weissbier" (for which you get a wheat beer). Also told me that Maastricht is where the Germans go to buy drugs, so "don't do too much drugs. Do some, but not too much." Meant to meet them at Mooserwirt again on Saturday, but instead, I ended up meeting a couple of Danes from the place I was staying. They were very nice too. We discussed football (go Copenhagen!) and Formula One racing, and why the Japanese can't build a good racecar: they have no creativity. If you tell them "this is what we want" they will build it, but if you say "what can you do?" they can't decide. Also why the Microsoft-owned but Toshiba-made Zune is such a flop.

And then there are all the other people I sat next to in a bar or cafe, like Simon, the Israeli from Haifa who claims it's less dangerous than NYC. Or Josef, the guy who owns a snack stand; I bought a Currywurst from him the first day, then ran into him at a bar, and he convinced me to go back and buy one the next day too. A funny guy; doesn't speak English or German very well, but he's friendly. He says "currywurst" with a fantastic accent. It's up there with Viktor Adamchik saying "greedy algorithm." Then there's Teja Thakur, the Indian from near the Himalayas (damn, I forget his village's name). He's in St. Anton for 3 months, training to snowboard in the 2010 Olympics- watch for him! (or he could have been putting me on. if so, I sure got served.)

It's kinda amazing, and also what makes a trip like this (or any trip) so great: the people. When you go on a trip like this, you resign yourself to a lot of really awkward times, when you're the only guy sitting at the bar, quietly sipping your beer, or when the only guy sitting next to you is a strange old guy who's offering you a shot of something that he can't name, from a bottle with a skull and crossbones hand-drawn on it. (Jesus H.M.S. Christ, I drank some! After he did, of course. But still- what the shit?! It's a wonder I'm still alive!)

5. The Food. Always important for a food enthusiast like myself. Really, I didn't have a lot of it, because I was focusing on meeting people, not on the food. But you run into new treats, like it or not. Like the aforementioned Currywurst. This is just a sausage, covered in curry powder and drenched in ketchup. And it's really good! I'm a fan. Breakfasts were tasty (and included in the room price): bread, an assortment of meats and cheese slices, some muesli cereal, and strange things to spread on bread: jams of course, but also cheeses and pates. Like kalbsleber (calf's liver, right?), which was tasty. And once a long time ago, I entered all the things that I usually eat into some website, and it analyzed my eating habits and told me that I was missing only a few key nutrients, and that my diet is sorely lacking in calf's liver. Ta da, solution!

Speaking of calf's liver, I almost met my food-adventurousness match with a Bauernteller ("worker's platter") at a local stube. (not sure how "stube" translates, but a lot of restaurants were "stube"s.) It included leberwurst and blutwurst, both of which were sort of soft sausages. As in, when you cut it, the sausage gooshes out a little bit. I was not ready for that. Also, blutwurst is "blood sausage," and the name alone weirds me out. But hey, mind over matter, charge on with furious gusto, and I'll be eating a lot weirder stuff than that! They were both really not bad, although I'd have to have them a couple more times before I'd call them favorites.

A discussion of food would be incomplete without a discussion of:
6. Drinks! Again, it's a different world. In America, if you drank with lunch and dinner, people would think you're unusual. Here, it's perfectly natural to have a beer with your meal. (and also apres ski!) It makes sense. You can drink beer at age 16. You grow up with it; it's not this wild "forbidden fruit". There's no binge drinking; people know their limits. And the beer is much better! I am not so good at telling the difference between them yet, but I know that I like pilseners, and more than one weissbier fills me up and makes me feel not so good afterwards. I've had Kaiser (slogan: hast ein Kaiser, bist ein Kaiser- have a Kaiser, be a Kaiser!), Fohrenburger, Beck's (from the bottle; apparently it's Germany's best-selling beer), Dinkel Acker, and something like Ergender. And I had a shot called a Flugel- it's red vodka (sweeter; they add sloe berries or something? the brand was Eristoff and apparently it's Dutch) and Red Bull, and it's tasty.

7. Money and Housing are somewhat important. First, housing: I stayed at a place called the Pension Adlerhorst- a little bed-and-breakfast that I found online. It was about 4km from the city center, but there was a bus during the day, and at night it made for a nice walk. And it was deluxe! Nice room, nice breakfast (as I said before), friendly owners, and how much would you pay for all this? 36 Euro/night. You can't get anything in the states for $36 (or even $45-50, or whatever EU$36 is) This place is hardly unique; the village is filled with them! And no chain hotels in sight. (well, one Best Western.) I love it. So that was cheap, lift tickets were cheap (EU$132 for 4 days!) but rentals were expensive (EU$37/day for skis and boots). Seriously, if you find a cheap flight and bring your skis, skiing in Europe can be cheaper than skiing in the Rockies.

The money, though, is tricky to get used to. Like the coins. EU$1 and EU$2 coins are bad for me. They feel like change, you know, so you don't notice them. Until you realize you have $10 in change in your pocket. And the bills feel like funny money, which means I don't feel bad about tossing them at everything. EU$4.40 for a beer? No problem, here's a worthless-looking fiver, and keep the change!

8. Language issues could use another post. This is long enough as it is.

Soll ich in Englisch oder Deutsch sprechen?

That has been the biggest problem so far. I'm not sure which is better, in this crazy resort town: terrible German or fluent English, especially when, for example, someone addresses me in German and I respond in English. Gaaah! I guess in St Anton, English is just as good, because half the people here are Brits anyway, and everyone speaks both languages fluently. I still feel bad about it. I did have at least one meaningful German conversation though:
Me: kann ich mit fünfzig Euros zahlen? (can I pay with €50?)
Bratwurst guy: ehh... ok.
Me: es tut mir leid! (I'm sorry)
Bratwurst guy: it's no problem!
Me: ein currywurst, bitte.
Bratwurst guy: €3.20.

This conversation resulted in me getting a Currywurst, which apparently is a sausage with a bunch of curry powder drenched in ketchup. It's good! This place amazes me.

In other news, all is well, I've been awake for going on about 30 hours, and tomorrow I'm going skiing!

Things I should be ready for in the next few months:

1. Culture shock; supposedly, it happens. Hopefully I'll be able to minimize it, but they say everyone feels a little put off by all the quirks of the place he's visiting, sooner or later.
2. Loneliness; supposedly that happens too. A lot. I can imagine feelings of isolation, of stranger-in-a-strange-land-ing.
3. Feeling awful every time I ask someone "sprechen sie Englisch?" I just had to do it on the phone, and I feel so ugly-American.
4. A giant red-tape mishap will seriously sidetrack at least one excursion, for sure.
5. I'll probably get wildly sick at some point too. Hopefully it won't ruin more than one weekend.
6. I'll probably have to spend more money than I'd like, on at least one occasion.
7. The food! I can't wait to try it. But it seems so heavy and not that healthy, especially in places like Germany. I may get in worse shape. However, pretty much as a rule, Europeans are in better shape than we are, so I may get in better shape. I'm no Lance Armstrong as it is.
8. Biking a long distance. I want to do it at least once. Koln is something like 40km; that'd be a nice warmup.
9. The classes. All this preparation for all the travel; I need to remember that I'm taking classes too! Hopefully, they won't be all too difficult, and hopefully, I'll learn something interesting (especially in the first half-semester)
10. Falling out of touch with people back home. I'll do my best not to!
11. Learning the language not as well as I'd like.
12. Learning the language better than I'd thought.
13. Having some of the best months of my life.
14. Not having some of the best months of my life.
15. Learning to appreciate beer. At least, I hope so. I'll have wasted my time if I come back and I still can't tell a Yuengling from a Pabst. (That's hyperbole, don't worry.)
And finally, 16. Things that I can't possibly be ready for; because I can't imagine what the hell is going to happen these next few months. This has been your inspirational-speech minute; feel free to go about your business now.

T minus 14 hours

You know what? Ram's right. Having two blogs is a waste of time for you and me. My family doesn't want to read a blog anyway- I don't think my parents are quite sure what a blog even is. And forget the extended family. It's postcards for them.

I'll pearoast (that is, repost) bits of the only other post I made, so to get you up to speed:

What's the story here? I'm studying at the Universiteit Maastricht, in Maastricht, the Netherlands this semester. It's here:Here's my schedule:
Jan 16-Jan 22- arrive in Zurich, Switzerland. Take a train to St. Anton and ski in the Austrian Alps!
Jan 22-Feb 4- arrive in Maastricht, orientation
Feb 5-Apr 6- classes ("Logic for AI" and "Intelligent Systems")
Apr 6-Apr 16- break!
Apr 16-Jun 8- classes ("Comparative Philosophy of the Environment" and "Dutch Art History")
Jun 8-Jun 15- travel a bit, then come home.

Why this school? It has classes that I'm interested in (namely, those first two) taught in English. I don't know any other European languages well enough to take classes in them, besides maybe Spanish, and I didn't particularly want to go to Spain. I know a little German and a little Dutch.

Why study abroad at all? Why not? I feel like, if I didn't do it, I'd be missing out on one of the only opportunities I'd get to see another culture firsthand. I mean, not just spending a week touring through it, but actually living somewhere and getting to understand another world. Plus, the whole CMU thing was wearing thin. I need a break from the cement blocks of Wean Hall.

Okay. Now you know all the things you want to know, or at least the first few things you would have asked me. Now: where am I?

I'm mostly packed. I'm getting together the last final things, printing out forms, and where the flock are my sunglasses?! I swear, every time I get a pair that I like, I lose them immediately. Meanwhile, I've got a drawer full of old ones that I don't like. Want any old sunglasses? I will send you a pair. In June when I get back.
See, sunglasses are a very picky thing for me. I'd like some good sunglasses (not $10 drugstore sunglasses) that are polarized, durable, won't fall off my face, and look kind of neat (because, let's face it, if you are wearing cool sunglasses, you are a badass. I mean, even Keanu Reeves looks like he might possibly belong in that super-hip Matrix world when he wears sunglasses.) but I am not willing to pay anything in the $100 range because come on, they're just sunglasses. Look, some people can make these for $10, and you have the nerve to charge $100? What a scam. Anyway, I finally got a neat pair of Oakleys (remember when those were the biggest thing?) off misc.market for cheap (from Lux, no less) and now I go and lose them! This is the worst day of my life!

Anyway, sunglasses aside, I am almost ready to go. That is, of course, assuming I can get on the plane. Long story of red tape ahead, read at your own risk: I have a ticket to Zurich tomorrow, and leaving from Brussels in June. That's 5 months. If you go to Switzerland and stay longer than 3 months without a visa (which is illegal) the Swiss government will, among other things, fine the airline you flew in on. United Airlines (with whom I'm not thrilled, but I'm relatively content, and I'm actually earning a non-trivial amount of frequent flier miles) doesn't like fees, so they require you to have a visa if you're flying into Switzerland for more than 3 months. I am getting a Dutch visa, for which you have to apply in person (in the Netherlands).
This is an actual real life example of a Catch-22! I'm so proud! I thought those were only, you know, in books. However, it's also retarded, because I am leaving Switzerland within three hours. As soon as I arrive in Zurich, I am hopping on a train and going to St. Anton am Arlberg, Austria. I don't have a train ticket to prove that I'm leaving so quickly because you can't buy train tickets online unless it's at least 5 days in advance. I mean, I could have a customs agent escort me to the train station and watch me get on the train, if they really wanted. But the problem's not with Switzerland; it's with United, so the study abroad coordinator from the University of Maastricht and I have compiled a bunch of information to try to convince some clerk tomorrow that I actually am leaving Switzerland and they don't have to fear big Swiss fines.

Another dilemma: overseas flights always have the most perks. Movies, two aisles (I'm in a 767, the airplane with greatest chance of an aisle seat, and lo and behold, I have one), multiple meals, etc. However, this is the flight on which it is critical to sleep, because I'm leaving DC at something like 6PM, and then I will fly for 8 hours and it will be 8AM, and if I want to defeat Jet-lag Joe in a three-round staying-awake cage match, I darn well better sleep. Well. Life is full of dilemmas.

If you'd like another dilemma (or rather, interesting question, I guess), here's one: if a magical spirit came to you and said "You must choose:
A. You get your dream job (you don't even have to know what it is; I, the magical spirit, will find it for you) and you will love it. Every day, you will be thrilled to go to work, and when 5:00 (or 6:00 or whatever) hits, you will be sad to leave. Great co-workers, fulfilling challenges, a good chance to make a difference, the works. However, your salary will be $x, and you will only ever get raises to keep up with inflation.
B. You continue job searching as normal, but you will never find this particular dream job."
How low could you stand $x to be?
I personally don't know. First of all, I have no idea how much things cost. I'm hovering around $40,000. I think, if my future wife had a nice job, we could get a house in an area that isn't crime-ridden (or a condo in the city...), and maybe if we scrimped and saved, I could still ski sometimes. Of course, if I marry someone with a really nice job, then heck, it could be $0. Let's take future family out of the equation- assume that your spouse will make exactly enough that when you marry, your standard of living will not change. It's tricky. For me, I guess it comes down to: would I give up three of my favorite things (skiing, travel, and nice food) for a perfect job? Or do I just say, screw it, I'll find my second-best job eventually, and probably make a nice amount of money doing it?

Enough deep thinking for now; I should do some deep sleeping. Guten nacht, and I'll see you in Europe!

Hey, you know the Columbia clothes and outdoor stuff company...

and you know outsourcing, right, where everyone sends their clothes to be made in poor third-world nations. Well, guess where Columbia outsources their clothing?

Colombia.

Duh.

Well, I thought it was a funny coincidence, anyway. Hey, I'm leaving tomorrow!

Happy Christmas!

I got this email a while ago from my grandpa, who forwards on jokes and stuff, and I used to find his right-wing jabs funny, and they're still funny sometimes, but sometimes they annoy me a bit. For example, this:


Subject: A seasonal message to my friends on "both sides of the aisle"

TO MY DEMOCRATIC FRIENDS:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for
the religious/secular persuasion and/or tradition of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you
a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007,
but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures
whose contributions to society have helped make America great. (Not to
imply that America is necessarily greater than any other nation.)

TO MY REPUBLICAN FRIENDS:
"Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"


Now, I do agree on the main point: political correctness has been taken too far. People who have started saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" (and who have forbidden people from saying "Merry Christmas", say in a school or workplace or whatever) because they think that someone might get offended are missing the point on a couple of different levels. I mean, who's to say that it's even a holiday season? What about, say, Hindus and Buddhists, who don't have any holidays around now? (they don't, right?) Should we say "Happy Holidays if it's a holiday time for you"? Of course not!

(I would like to know, though, if it is obnoxious to those of you who don't celebrate Christmas. Do you celebrate it anyway, because it's become sort of a national festivity time instead of a Christian holiday? Do you just ignore it? Does it bug you when people just assume you're celebrating Christmas, because, you know, this is a Christian nation? Do you get cheesed off by "Merry Christmas"?)

Also, people think "We better be 'diverse', so we should say 'Happy Hanukkah' and 'Happy Kwanzaa' too" (some people have even thrown in 'Happy Ramadan') as if this: a. makes sense, b. covers everyone, and c. allows them to be insensitive otherwise. You know, Hanukkah isn't the "Jewish Christmas." It's not even a big deal, compared to other Jewish holidays (right?) (although, Christmas wasn't originally a big deal...). Kwanzaa is as fake as Sweetest Day (although with a nobler purpose, and I guess when I say "fake" I mean "recently created", but the guy who created it was kinda nuts, and it's still only celebrated by 13% of African Americans). Ramadan is a month of fasting, resolution, and spiritual growth... which seems to be just about the opposite of feast-month Christmas. (when's the last time someone wished you a "Happy Lent"?)

Umm... this argument is all over the place. Back to the email. Nobody has a problem with "Happy New Year", first of all. I don't think even the most politically-correct Democrats have a problem with the Gregorian calendar. Or the word "happy." Surprise- what we know as Christmas originally WAS the celebration of the Winter Solstice holiday, appropriated by the Christian church. And, by the way, "implied" and "implicit" mean the same thing.

I realize this is just a good-ol'-boys Republican joke, and it's not that offensive. The main problem exists not here, but elsewhere in actual debates, where Republicans have painted Democrats as politically-correct goofballs. (Gerrit can tell you more) It's tough to argue when people automatically assume you're coming from an extreme point of view, or at least act as if you are. You know what I mean:
"Bush's policies on Iraq are not so good."
"Oh, so you want to go back to the days of Clinton, where terrorists attacked us all over the place, and we did nothing. You'd rather we just sat back and let terrorist attacks happen, and said 'oh well.'"
"No, I'm saying Clinton made the right call not to invade a country that was only spuriously linked to terrorist attacks"
"So you're a fan of this moral relativist. Remember Lewinsky?"
I guess the right call is to avoid arguing with these people altogether.

No Seattle this summer...

Yeah, I got the email that starts with the word "although" from Microsoft today, so I won't be working there. Bummer! Yet, somehow, time... is still marching on! I wasn't really sure if I wanted to do it anyway. (If you're a Microsoft recruiter who googled (ahem, MSN searched) and found my blog after my interviews were over for some reason, I mean, I really wanted to work there, and I will hang my head in shame until September, at which point I will write four "killer apps" (one a month) and then interview with enthusiasm and vigor. But if you're not, I will air my true feelings: )

I don't know what I want to do. I don't know if I want to write software. Part of it seems pretty trivial: after you're done, the world is only maybe a better place. I mean, maybe the box that pops up in Microsoft Word when you click File->Print is a little bit better organized. But who cares? We all know that Windows and Office work pretty well now, and the only reason they keep updating them is to sell more copies. (it's an ingenious scheme.)

However, I don't know that. Who knows, maybe software development, when you get past the grunt work that I've done for two summers, is sort of fun. And I figured, if that's the case, Microsoft is the place to do it. The whole Program Manager (aka PM) thing is a pretty cool thing: I was interviewing for an internship as a PM, so I'd plan things and gather requirements and make feature tradeoffs and so on. Everywhere else I've seen, you just write code a lot.

Also, being at Microsoft is just exciting. If MS doesn't get you pumped about writing software, nobody will.

Well, I just took a couple hours break, reading articles like this one in the meantime. According to that article, I should be a chef. Or a ski patroller. Maybe I should...

It's a confusing life! And the whole job search is just one of the problems you have to figure out before you grow up. Maybe something in Europe will strike a nice chord. (Supposedly you come out of a semester abroad a different person. Well, considering that what I'm doing now isn't working all too well in many of the major areas in life, I'm all for a change.)

Scarlet License Plates

Orange, actually. Just found out that Ohio makes you put orange license plates on your car if you get a DUI. Not sure how I feel about that. Well, actually, I am pretty sure that I don't like it; I was just saying "not sure how I feel about that" to indicate that I didn't like it.

Also, I heard this little exchange on some BBC news program- they had this guy Mark somebody, the director of military something for the Southern US (which evidently includes Guantanamo). I don't have the exact quotes, but this is pretty close:

Interviewer: What would you say about the complaints against conditions in Guantanamo?
Mark: Well, we've worked hard to make improvements, and now the detainees have access to first-rate medical care, TV, radio, a library, and we consider Guantanamo to be an excellent facility.
I: How can you justify detaining people indefinitely without charging them with crimes?
M: This is the war on terror now, and these people are not criminals, they are enemy combatants, and you don't return enemy combatants to their home countries until the war's over.
(note: that's scary. the "end of the war on terror" could be 20, 50, 100 years from now. Or never. Just like the "war on drugs." But anyway:)
I: What about people like this? I have this letter that a 9-year-old British boy wrote, and here's what it says: "Please release my father soon. I don't know why he's in jail. He's a good man. Please let daddy come home" (or something to that effect)
M: I can't comment on individual cases, but again, these are enemy combatants, and we have to treat them as such.
I: But this guy was picked up in the Gambia. That's not a war zone.
(pause)
M: (something lame about a "global war on terror")
I: Boo-yah! Boo-yah! (pees all over Mark)

48 hours as The Man

Hey! I just spent a few days in SEATTLE interviewing with MICROSOFT. I am hoping to get a fulfilling job in the world of Software Development. If I cannot get a fulfilling job in the world of Software Development at MICROSOFT, then I cannot get a fulfilling job in the world of Software Development.

Thoughts about the trip:
1. It was deluxe. Microsoft bought me a plane ticket, a rental car, two nights at a Westin, and reimbursement for all meals/parking/other expenses. Wow. That's a $350/night hotel. There was a huge flat screen TV and a giant luxurious bed in the room. The night before I left, the Dallas Cowboys checked in.
There was valet parking. I can't deal with valet parking. I tried not to act all boy-from-the-sticks-in-the-big-city, but there's only so much I can do. I mean, valet parking. Do you tip them when they take your car? When they bring it back? Both? I can't deal with valet parking.

2. The interviews were fine. I met with two people from Assistance Platforms and one from Shared Graphics. Am I not supposed to publish information about interviews on the INTERNETS? Whatever. They went fine, I think. I'll know in a week. Design questions are tougher than I thought! Plus, I've never done anything like that before.

3. Seattle is neat! I love the lots of evergreen trees and the winters that don't go below 40 degrees and raining. Don't get me wrong, I love my winters, but it's mostly because of skiing, and you can get here and here within 2 hours, and HERE within 4 hours. Whistler Blackcomb must be capitalized. The downtown is nice and at least relatively safe, driving over Lake Washington is pretty, and there are Big Ol' Mountains in the distance on clear days.

However... I was not too pleased with the traffic. The rest of this paragraph will be complaints about traffic and reasons that I would reconsider living there on the basis of the traffic alone. You can skip ahead if you want. So they have a lot of highways. For a city with a population of 570,000 and a metro area of 3.9 million, I wouldn't think I'd be on 5- and 6-lane highways all the time, and that said highways would always be pretty crowded. Especially in a city that has a reputation for being a little bit futuristic and a little bit environmentally friendly. After my interviews on Friday, it took me literally (actually literally, not just "literally" as a word to add emphasis) an hour to go 5 miles. Granted, I could find backroads around them. No big deal. Except this: there are only two highways, over a lake, that connect Seattle with the East Side (which includes Redmond). Plus, you sure can't bike over the highways. If I worked at MS, I'd have to live on the East Side, which means I would either have to never go to the city, or get a car. Neither of which are things I really want to do. Also, if I got a car, I'd have to make sure I don't try to drive during rush hour. All in all, I'd expect this from LA, not from Pacific Northwest Seattle.

4. But yeah, Seattle is neat. After my interviews on Friday, I met a guy from Microsoft and CMU, who took me to dinner on Uncle Bill's dime. We ate way too much sushi. That's the first time I've ever gotten full from sushi. Wholly cow. Or actually, wholly fresh seafood. (Probably even fresher than Wholey fresh seafood.) Props to Seattle for being on the ocean. Then I went to an improv show; if you read .improv, you've seen my post about it, and if not, you probably don't care about improv. Props to Seattle for having things to do at night for a youthful lad of but 20 years.

5. Pike Place Market. Let me say that again. Pike Place Market. This place is literally (again, actually literally) one of the top 10 coolest places I've ever been. You can buy any kind of food you want. While you're there, you can pick up a magic trick, a jar of jalapeno jam, a fresh fresh fish, a pin extolling the virtues of Critical Mass, a piroshki, a Barry Bonds rookie card, the best orange cinnamon tea I've ever had, a half-dozen fresh fresh donuts (but not just one, or the guy will look at you condescendingly), a Handmade Craft, an ostrich egg, a hammered dulcimer, a cup of coffee, or a Shel Silverstein book. You can listen to street performers too. And it's all so REAL! Not like Crocker Park, not like Bellevue (the upscale suburb of Seattle where I stayed), not like the Waterfront in Pittsburgh. Just about the only chain store is a Starbucks. And that's because it's the first one. I think I could put up with commuting for 2 hours each day if it meant I got to live near this place and go shopping there on a regular basis.

6. Musics of the trip: I listened to Gnarls Barkley's album finally. I like it a lot! More than the B-52's self-titled album, which is a surprise.

7. I kinda still can't get over how great the Pike Place Market was.

Suppose I ought to clarify...

The extra blog is so that I can tell not only my friends but also my family, associates, colleagues, and other ersatz relations about what I'm doing. For example, I can post this here without having to explain to my parents why that's kinda funny, and what the Beardo is.

(although I did end up explaining Cowboy Face to my friend's parents recently. Unfortunately, we didn't end up playing.)

Anyway, sorry for the obnox, but I think it's a neat idea. ("obnox" being, clearly, the thing that an action might have that would make it obnoxious.) Maybe I'll change my mind. We'll see.

Here it is:

My study abroad blog

Consumerism Continues

I bought these shoes. I like buying things. Especially buying good quality things. They're shiny and new for a while, and then they're just old and functional, and then they still work. At least that's the idea. Also, that's how I can justify buying (/receiving for Christmas) three super-premium (coat and backpack) or unnecessary (shoes) things for my Europe trip. (note that I mean "justifying to myself." It's not like anyone else is telling me "you buy too many things!") I just say "they'll last for longer; therefore, it's worth spending a lot of money on them." Which is true.

(hopefully. the thing not to do is say "it'll last for longer" and then buy another one soon anyway for another reason- you lose the first one, or get sick of it, or whatever.)

I think it's the sustainable thing to do, despite the hurt on my (or my parents') wallet and the environment right now.

Also, man, I really like breakfast cereal. I mean, a whole lot. If it weren't societally unacceptable, probably unhealthy, and destructive towards one of my hobbies (cooking), I could probably live somewhat contently on a box of GoLean and a half gallon of soy milk per day. Maybe a little more food; that's a little low in the calories department. Actually, check this out:
1 box GoLean- 1120 calories
1/2 gallon plain Silk- 720 calories
1 bag Trader Joe's Harvest Hodgepodge (The Best frozen vegetable mix)- 150 calories
500 calories' worth of assorted fresh fruit- 500 calories
Total: 2490 calories; pretty good for me if I'm not active. If I am, ramp everything up a bit.
I'd be set in terms of protein, carbs, and fats. As for the micronutrients, I'd probably need a multivitamin to fill in gaps, but I wouldn't be doing all too badly there either. Not saying this is a good call, but if I ever get trapped inside a Trader Joe's that happened to only stock three items plus fruit, I'd be in good shape.

I was reading a column about famous sign-off lines, and I thought, how cool would it be if a famous newsanchor used Wesley Willis's sign off:
Rock over London, rock on Chicago. Wheaties- breakfast of champions.
Then companies could pay that anchor to borrow the last part of his sign off.

Pro sports and cons

Hey! I went to a Cleveland Cavaliers game tonight. Let me first say that it was delightful. We met one of my dad's clients (who was treating us) and went to the Hyde Park Grille for a burger. Not the first thing that would have popped into my mind when someone said "let's grab a burger before the game," but the burgers cost $10 anyway, which is about what you'd pay for a burger at Fuddruckers...

Supposedly it was a Kobe beef burger with Gruyere... which sounds to me like a maraca filled with diamonds. When you're massaging your cows and feeding them beer, why put their meat through a grinder? I couldn't tell the difference, really. (note that I am not a supertaster.)
If our country had reasonable alcohol laws, I might not have felt so out of it while they ordered cocktails and I ordered a diet coke. (with a side order of cancer!)

Another question: What do you order if you're not ordering beer or wine? I may need to know this at some point in the future. The only thing I know that's reasonable is a gin and tonic, because that's what my dad drinks. Martinis? Rum/Jack and coke? A white Russian? (<-- clearly the best drink I have come across) Will these things get me laughed or sneered at? I appreciate any advice you might have, and you can make it as longwinded and condescending as you want. I'm swallowing my pride now, so that I can avoid having to swallow it later as everyone else orders something dignified and I order a Fire and Ice. ("...the forces of good BAND TOGETHER to route the hosts of chaos")
Note also that that should probably be "rout" the forces of chaos. Unless, you know, they're kinda telling the chaotic forces where to go.

Foodly and drinkly matters aside, the game was a blast too. I mean "blast" in that "good quality time with your father experience" sort of sense. It was a little awkward because the clients were there, and dad had to talk business with them a bit, but all in all, all went well, LeBron dazzled, Donyell Marshall chipped in 7 3's, and we won big.

And I once again confronted the Pavlovian spectacle that is a professional sporting event. Part of me is really repulsed by it all. You know, "Fans! Up on your feet and make some noise! It's time for the Taco Bell ball toss!" and then they would toss crummy little plastic balls out into the audience. But another part of me says that it's the same as anything else: it gives people an outlet to get excited. I'm all for spontaneous excitement- if you see a leaf on the sidewalk that makes you go nuts, and you start cheering and making a big deal out of that leaf, good for you! Or say you win a dollar in the lottery, and you make a big deal out of it and spend the dollar on Pez candy and ceremoniously dole them out to your friends... rock on! So what's wrong with sports? Well, nothing, I guess!

Besides, it was a lot of fun in high school.

But then, there's Beej's idea: nobody over 30 who really likes what he/she does for a living is really into pro sports at all. (I can't confront my dad with this hypothesis, because he doesn't, and is, and I don't really need to remind him...) It seems kinda true. Why is that? Is it just because there's less Quality in pro sports than in other pursuits that super-fulfilled-people like to pursue?

Speaking of Quality, I just bought(/received for Christmas) this coat. It's awesome. Mountain Hardwear is (supposedly) The Best. I mean, Everest climbers wear Mountain Hardwear stuff. It's what all the preppy suburban North Face wearers should have bought. Also, it's waterproof (Gore-tex style), has a removable liner, is lightweight, offers lots of movement, has a zip-away hood and a powder skirt, nice pockets ... and is apparently a women's coat? Um, I think this is it, and I know it's called the "Descent Trifecta," and I couldn't find that name under men's stuff. Huh. Well, whatever! I fell in love with it at second sight. And I got it for a little over $200 (end of year overstock). It will last me a long time, including all through Europe. If you're ever on the west side of Cleveland, stop in here. It's The Best.

Next up: I will buy this backpack. It, too, will be The Best. I hope.

I feel like I've been asleep for ___ years...

Happy Christmas! Not happy Hanukkah. Or Kwanzaa. You don't see Christians going around and saying "Happy Pentecost" or "Happy Ash Wednesday", do you? Then why do we think that Jews would want us to say "Happy Hanukkah"? Kwanzaa is just made up. By this guy. And for that matter, what about the Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, etc. And don't start with that Christmahanukwanzmas crap, or even Festivus. Sorry, it's not funny anymore.

Here's something I was going to post on December 4. I would do the "draft" thing, but then it will post it from today, right? That's not correct. Or maybe I don't understand how Blogger works. At any rate, it's all still true:
I'm done with networks.
I'm a terrible TA. (This is not actually true; I'm only saying this because I'm comparing myself to super hardcore math folks)
I'm awesome at improv. This is not true either, but Sunday and Thursday's workshops were fantastic.
I love live music. This is not true; usually it's boring. However, the Hell Yeah the Hellcats show at the Quiet Storm on Saturday was pretty cool. I enjoy their band. (edit: the other Hellcats show I saw, on Friday the 15th, was neat too. It was in a pool hall. Really, it was just a bar, with a big smoky room for doing things. Pool, pinball, etc. Also a projector was showing the 80's movie "Rad" behind their show. Why? Ehh, beats me.)

But now it is the present! What has happened between then and now?

- I actually did finish Networks, and even got an A in it.

- I finished the rest of school, pulling out a B in Neural Nets. GPA hovers at the just-as-good-as-a-4.0 level (3.8), despite the toughest semester yet. Rock on. Although hopefully it's all downhill from here. And I mean that in the "getting easier" sense, not the "getting worse" sense. You got to admit, it's getting better. All the time.

- TA'ing finished off well. Not spectacularly, at least in my eyes. I still felt kinda distant from all the students. But they mostly did well on the final (although tests and grades aren't the best way to measure anything... more on that later). I don't think I really got anyone jazzed up about Concepts of Math. I don't think I really let anyone down either. Maybe by college it's too late for that? Hopefully my two hours a week with them were relatively pleasant.

- I went skiing for a week! If I've been out of touch, sorry. It was The Best. At least, The Best skiing I've ever had, and The Best week I've had in a long long time. Stayed with my friends from high school, the Gadomskis. They were The Best hosts. I skied for 6 days at 5 places. I meant to only stay 4 days, but thanks to The Best blizzard ever, I managed to get stuck there (woohoo!) for three more days. Did I mention how the Gadomskis were The Best hosts? I mean, skiing with Pete, Brian, and Pete's girlfriend Sarah (or "Mar", making her the second person I know with that nickname) showed me that I can do more than I thought I can do, and reinstilled my faith in my enjoyment of skiing. Then we'd come home and Mr. and Mrs. Gadomski (or Guy and Cathy, as they insisted that we call them) would make dinner, and we'd all play cards or a game or something. And we had fresh snow almost every day, including a foot (!) on Thursday. If you'd like to geek out about skiing sometime, let me know, and I will explode with excitement about this trip.

- Christmas happened. Luckily, I managed to make it to Tampa with the rest of my family, then we drove to The Villages, where my grandparents live. We also saw my aunt and uncle. It was nice! We had a nice Christmas yesterday, and it reminded us of how lucky we are, blah blah blah, and then we (and by this I mean my parents) went totally overboard buying gifts, and now we have a car full of stuff that probably won't fit on the plane back home, and holy cow. I got a great backpack! And a coat! And a bunch of books about Europe! Hey, another third of the First World, here I come!

Notable thoughts I have had:
"this is a cool restaurant, despite the boringness of the food" - inside Red Mountain Grill, in Dillon, CO. The decoration was a combination of Maya, Aztec, Mexico, and Disneyworld. It was the kind of fake-authentic thing that might show up at Crocker Park. Had Crockerparkesque food too. But it was neat.

"when I become a professor, I shouldn't give students grades" - while reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. It's a great book. I'm almost done. Note that I soon second-guessed this thought, and then third-guessed it, and I'm still wondering.

"this is a worldview I might be able to buy" - same book. He talks about the grand duality of everything (calling it Classic vs. Romantic) and then talks about how maybe Quality (aka Goodness) isn't in one side or the other, and it's not some third prong somewhere else, but instead, it's the generator of the whole thing. I still don't quite understand it. But I kinda like it. Also, he brings in Taoism, which always gets me going a little bit. (it's the "Fiery Furnaces" of the religions, in my mind, which is to say that I like a lot of bands, but the Fiery Furnaces a little more than most)

"why am I not studying Dutch or German right now?" - hmm... a lot. I should work on that. Also, I'm going to cook dinner. More later!

Also...

I am the TONTIE master.

Are you?

(Grow is pretty good too)

District B13

is a great action movie.
For serious.
This movie is everything I wish other action movies were. If you get a chance, go see it. Stuff like Hero and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is great, but French dudes jumping over walls and stuff are pretty awesome too.

I saw a snowflake yesterday

and it was awesome.
Also, I'm getting my annual cold now, before ski time and holiday time and Europe time.
Things are ending, and it is nice.
"No matter what I do, it always feels better when I stop doing it" - Dogbert

Whaaaaa!

Here are my plans!
Saturday, December 16: leave CMU at about noon. Drive home to Cleveland, then get on a plane to Denver.
Sunday, Dec. 17-Wednesday, Dec. 20: Ski in Colorado with one of my best friends from high school. Also, his brother (another one of my friends from high school) and his parents, who are very cool too.
Thursday, Dec. 21: Return home for a few days of good ol' Christmas family time.
Sunday, Dec. 24: Go to The Villages, Florida, for a few days of good ol' Christmas other-side-of-the-family time.
Thursday, Dec. 28: Return home, hang out with other friends from high school, get ready to go to Europe. Hopefully interview with Microsoft at some point.
Monday, Jan. 15: Fly to Zurich, Switzerland. !
Tuesday, Jan. 16-Sunday, Jan. 21: Ski in the Alps. I have no idea where or how. I'm thinking St. Anton, Austria, because I hear you can get there pretty easily from Zurich by train. (other ski recommendations are welcome! please! if you have Alps skiing experience, tell me where I should go! even if you're a random dude who just happened across this page on a "next blog" click!)
Sunday, Jan. 21- Monday, Jan. 22: Find my way to Maastricht, Netherlands. Maybe through Brussels airport. Maybe by train. We'll see.
Monday, Jan. 22- Friday, June 15: Study in the Netherlands.

All plane tickets have been bought. Again, I can't say this enough: Thank you to whatever forces of nature/luck/planning/fortune/love have given me all of these opportunities. I guess I could say it enough, but only if I said it enough that it started sounding insincere.

(there's a little nagging doubt that these trips are like toys under the Christmas tree; I'll enjoy them for a few days, but then they'll be over, and it's all just the materialistic enjoyment of it all anyway. the sort of nagging doubt that warns: "the best things in life can't be bought." HOWEVER, I have two reasons to quash the worry: Colorado is about seeing one of my best friends, not about skiing; Florida is about seeing my grandparents, including maybe the last opportunity I get to see my grandfather; and Europe is about experiencing the world from another angle. They're not just fun diversionary trips. Although two of them are that too. The other reason that I shouldn't worry is that I worry too much about everything.)

(and if it sounds like I'm glossing over the somewhat more solemn Florida trip in the midst of two brighter, shinier trips that also involve skiing... maybe I am a bit, but if I am, it's not conscious. I think I'm still in denial that anything could happen to my grandpa, even though now they're into experimental cancer treatments. this is probably a topic for another post.)

Again, thank you for everything; I have no complaints whatsoever.

...although all these trips do make it hard to concentrate on schoolwork!

Starbucks: pros and cons

Starting with the obvious:

Pro: They resurrected (or maybe created) the modern coffeeshop. They created reasonable places for people to go to spend time. (think about it: where else can you go just to BE, without paying to eat something or drink alcohol?)

Con: They're all the same. As far as homogenization goes, they're no better than McDonald's.

Pro: However, by creating the coffeeshop business, they allowed OTHER coffeeshops (with personality and perhaps even a soul) to prosper. Go to Kiva Han, go to Kiva Han, for God's sake if you are at the corner of forbes and craig and you go to Starbucks you have made the wrong choice.

Con: Their drinks are too expensive. It's tough to walk in with a $5 and walk out with any real amount of money*. Obvious solution: get a "small cup of coffee" ($1.50 or so- still reasonable I guess, if it's good quality coffee)
*note also that if you have acquired a daily Starbucks habit, at $3 or so per drink, that's over $1000 per year.

Con: It's not good quality coffee. Ergg... and this is where I wish I bookmarked articles to back up points like this. I read a couple of articles by people who knew coffee, and they said Starbucks espresso is pretty awful.

Pro: Well, at least they're tasty!

Con: So is a pie tin full of whipped cream and a bag of marshmallows. I'll just say it's unhealthy, and leave it at that. I could quote facts if you want (like a *small* white chocolate mocha- my mom's favorite- is 410 empty calories) but you probably already agree with me. (look at that, I sneaked in a fact while I was saying I wasn't going to quote facts!) They hide the not-so-well-prepared coffee with gobs of cream and sugar. And flavored syrups.

Con: drink sizes! Come on. When a single drink can have as much caffeine as a 12-pack of coke (see the table about 1/4-way down... a Venti is 24 oz. of brewed coffee... 3*135 = 405 ~ 12*34 = 408), that's a little excessive. And empty calories, etc. The insidious thing is that they market it as just a thing to drink, not a dessert. But whatever, you can write this off, because people choose what they want to drink. If they want to drink the equivalent of a few slices of cake in a coffee cup, it's their call.
What you can't dispute is that "tall", "grande", and "venti" are obnoxious. Making fun of them is lame by now, but I will anyway. (trivia and ordering tip: there IS a "short." But you have to ask for it- it's not on the menu. It's 8 oz.)

Pro: They serve fair trade coffee. How much fair trade coffee? 3.7% of their coffee is Fair Trade certified. (see wikipedia) Still, better than nothing.

Pro: They're sorta left-wing. And good for them! Hard to find, in the corporate world. You know, they donate lots to liberal groups I think. Okay, that's not very convincing. Here's one actual fact I know: (also from Wikipedia) they had some quote about being gay on their cups, and some crazy religious right group tried to bully them into taking it off, and they didn't. Great!

Con: The Green Tea Latte. This was an abomination of a drink. Do you know how to make a Starbucks Green Tea Latte? (as I saw it when they made it)... two scoops green powder, a bunch of squirts of some mango-flavored syrup, and then he went behind the espresso machine, I assume to put some warm milk in it, and then it looks like that April Fool's Day prank where you dye the milk green and everyone gets weirded out. Plus, it tastes awful.

Okay, I'm still no fan of Starbucks, but it turns out there are two sides to the coin! Well, there are two sides to every coin... but this one is less unbalanced than I thought. They're still a little evil though.

Airplane tomorrow!

Wow!

I still get a little bit giddy every time I get to fly on an airplane. Tomorrow I'm going to Florida (at 9:30AM!) to visit my grandparents. Rock! My seat is 5D. That's like the second best seat on the plane! (front, aisle)

Also, I am The Luckiest. Within the next two months, I will be flying to Florida (again), Colorado (maybe, hopefully...), Seattle (?! Wouldn't that be awesome! Microsoft!), and EUROPE! Yeah! Maybe Zurich. What have I done to deserve this? (Well, I'll tell you: paved my own path into the study abroad world, interviewed well with MS, and most of all, worked and made money. However, what have I done to deserve not having to pay that money right back into CMU? I think that's a better question.)

But let's not play the "I'm not worthy" game, because that's not the point! You can thank those that put you in this position without grovelling. You can accept great turns of events, just as long as you are willing to accept the not-so-great as well.

I hope I never get tired of flying.

Okay, 5 honestly good songs

Again, keeping in mind that we're not making "top 5" lists...

1. Matt Pond PA- Closest (Look Out)
This is by far the best song on an album of not-so-great songs. Just listen to it and imagine that you're in your backyard (at your real home, not your college home... if the two are still distinct places for you) on a summer evening. There's a heck of a storm brewing, and it's windy, but you're grilling hamburgers with slices of pineapple. Oh yeah, and a friend from high school is visiting, but that friend is leaving, and you're not going to see that friend for a long time. That's kind of what this song is like.

2. The Polyphonic Spree- Section 12 (Hold Me Now)
Wow. This is pop music perfection, part 2. If you asked me "why do you like the music that you like?" I'd play you this song. If you still wondered, and if you weren't grinning and feeling like everything is all right again!, well, maybe Slipknot would be more your thing.

3. Queens of the Stone Age- Go With the Flow
Sorry. Here's some of my indie cred back. Okay, so they were Alternative Rock radio darlings. (so were RHCP and SOAD, so that doesn't prove anything, but that's another argument...) This song is repetitive, kind of heavy, and not particularly inspired. But it does kind of sound a little bit like all the devil-may-care freewheeling spirit that may be missing from a lot of the rest of my music. Also, it's got a great color scheme; the video's neat. It's black and red. The rest of the music I own is probably shades of blue and green.

4. Ekoostik Hookah- Thief
You can get this song here (in FLAC only, sorry). That's a testament to their hippie love-everyone song distribution style. I feel like jam bands are salvageable! Really! But listening to them is like going to the world's largest spaghetti dinner, featuring a chef who wears a loose diamond ring on each finger. Yeah, if you stick around long enough, you might find some gems in your noodles. But you have to wait a while. Oh yeah, and since they tend to record every concert, the pile of spaghetti grows without end. All that said, this song is one of those gems. If I happen across any more, I'll let you know.

5. Talking Heads- Once in a Lifetime
Everything about this song is good. David Byrne's his halting, nerdly, semi-stuttering delivery of the spoken vocals rocks like a grandparent on a porch. The lyrics are pretty nice. The bassline punctuates everything nicely without getting in the way. And have you seen the video?! If I could perform any one song like the original artist, it'd be this one.

I'd post Five Great Albums next, but that's enough pretension for me for a while. Thanks for listening, and tune in next week!

Ram inspired me...

I was reading this, and I thought, hey, that looks like fun. (I also agreed on most counts, and played "Dinner Bell" on my WRCT show) Then I programmed for 48 hours. But THEN I submitted my program and it passed the checkpoint, so I decided, sleep be damned, I am going to make my own damn list. Categorization, prioritization, gushing about things I like- all of these are fun activities. In fact, I think that's secretly why I played Magic cards for so many years: I really liked putting the cards into categories. And ranking them. And then entering tournaments, trying to squeak by without buying awesome cards and wondering why I lost. And then going home, crying about it a little bit, and sorting my cards some more. Luckily for my educational career as well as my personal well-being, I gave up that nasty little habit.

So I started making a list. But, as usually happens when you set out to make a list, you get a list of things that you don't actually want to put on the list, and you end up with a list you're unsatisfied with. So I found a couple of kinda-sappy songs by bands I really like, realized I was making a kinda-sappy list, and threw out the old idea of making a list like Ram's and started making a List of Songs That Make Me Really Goddamn Sappy. But then, of course, as I was looking for more songs to fit this list, I came across five songs that really fit the list I was trying to make in the first place. So. Two lists.

And without further ado, I'll kick off the List of Songs By Bands That I Really Like That Make Me Goddamn Sappy with:

1. Sufjan Stevens- The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out To Get Us!
This one is a little easier to take than the rest. You kind of expect this list to contain at least one song by Sufjan Stevens, the kind of guy that a lot of straight guys say "I'm not gay, but if I went gay for someone, it'd be him." (let it be noted that the phrase "being gay for someone" is pretty funny) (also let it be noted that I'm not in the crowd that would say that about Sufjan Stevens. Now, Andrew Bird, on the other hand...) The point is, I couldn't take this song for its saccharine content on the first, maybe, 10 listens. But then I kept listening to it, and it rose to the top of my "Illinois" rankings, and then kept going, and pretty soon I was singing "We were in love, we were in love! Palisades, palisades..." and the whole last verse, with "Deep in the tower, the praries below... terrible sting, terrible storm..." and continuing on through "I can tell you, I love him each day" is very pretty indeed, and that's all I'll say about it.

2. Death Cab for Cutie- Photobooth
Okay, here is Pop Music Perfection part 1. This is the sad love song, in my book. Yeah, okay, Death Cab, major label, OC soundtrack, Postal Service, bunch of tools, and Ben Gibbard looks like Mark Stehlik. Oh, and programmed drums. Whatever. Just try to listen to this song without feeling sad (and nostalgic; what an insidious kind of sadness!). Okay, so maybe you can; you're not a sad sappy sucker like me. Fair enough.

3. Architecture in Helsinki- Maybe You Can Owe Me
Had this song been about a minute shorter, it might ascend into heaven itself. As it is, it's just so, so precious. The beat is catchy, the vocals are shamelessly twee, and I can't get over "I know it's complicated, here's the keys to the door/ of the room where I'm staying, you can sleep on the floor./ Halfway through the night can we talk and see/ 'cause there's no way that I'll sleep when you're near me." Look, this list isn't a "List of Songs with Great Lyrics or Profound Meanings," all right?

4. Weezer- Across the Sea
Ram, Ram, Ram. You listed this as the one song you'd leave off of Pinkerton. I thought about it for a little bit, then I decided that I'm in no state to judge its objective quality because I love it so much, but you're still wrong. And it's still my measuring stick for pop/rock song climaxes. By the time it gets to "words and dreams and a million screams/ oh, how I need a hand in mine to feel"... it's good enough, along with the opening riff from "Tired of Sex," to forgive Weezer for spawning a decade of crummy imitators (including Weezer, part 2).

5. Modest Mouse- 3rd Planet
What's good about this song? It's kinda mid-tempo, there's no catchy beat, nothing really to make you want to listen to it again after you listen to it once. On the first listen through The Moon and Antarctica, a damn fine record, your ear might get drawn to the dancier "Tiny Cities Made of Ashes" or the epic "Stars are Projectors", or maybe the dystopian-sounding "A Different City", or the bizarre lyrics of "Wild Pack of Family Dogs." But this made my list, and the others didn't. Why? Beats me. There's nothing special about lines like "Your heart felt good/ it was drippin' pitch and made of wood" or "That's how the world began/ and that's how the world will end." Is it the mood of the whole album influencing my rating? Is it just my associations with it and skiing? Does it just manage to pick a few good words, making me get all sad just because it says something about a heart? I don't know. Yet, this song stirs up the ol' emotional brackish pond like few others.

There's list one. You want a red telephone to the music that sets off my emotional system, there it is. Now, if you want a list of songs that are perfect to more people than just me, well, I made that list too. But you'll have to wait for the next post.

It's been a week

I guess the things that I have to say are:
1. Cooking classes are great! I went to a Thanksgiving Dinner class today.
2. Networks is not the coolest thing I've ever done.
3. I feel a little stagnant, in terms of what I do. I would like to know what it is that I enjoy a lot, besides skiing, travel, and food. Change is good.
4. I have a lot of work, but
5. I should not whine so much about it; instead, I should get it done.

None of these are new sentiments, so I will not belabor them. Thank you for everything; I have no complaints whatsoever.

According to Hendrix, it's a frustrated mess

If I had to pick one psychological disorder that I'm most likely to have, I think it'd be manic depression. And what does it take to get me on a manic kick? Apparently a Networks project will do it. Wow. Thursday, I was just on fire all day. A few times in the last couple days, I've just realized that I'm actually Enjoying a Moment (which seems to be the essence of how to live your life well, period). Thursday I was bicycling outside, it was windy, I was stupid-cold, and it felt great! There were leaves flailing around, Sly and the Family Stone blasting into my ears, I was wearing a nifty new t-shirt (from NPP, incidentally), and it was all fine! Plus, while I've been coding, except for the last few hours when I realized that I wasn't going to get it done, and that it would interfere with something else I wanted to do, it's been great.

But I don't like Networks overall. What's the deal? I think it's just that there's a project that I can make continuous progress on, that I really want to get done. Also, I want to control it and really take charge, so I know it's all The Best. All the same, I didn't cook all week until today because I was so busy with that noise, and as a result, my ground beef went bad. Nuts. But I did cook some meatballs (with other meat, don't worry!) with a brown sauce (still tricky to make a roux) as well as some potato pancakes and applesauce. With a bunch of help from Julie. Thanks!

Saw another great concert tonight! The Fiery Furnaces opened up with most of their Bitter Tea album in one big medley. Then they played some other songs. As usual, it was unlike their albums, and also unlike the other show I've seen them play. I can't even say why I like them so much, but I really enjoyed it. Which is unusual for me and concerts. I think maybe one reason I like them so much is that it's something to like a lot- it's kind of arbitrary (sort of like skiing). I just decide I'm going to really love this band, and then as a result, I do. But really, what's the difference? If I think their albums are genius, but they get a 60-something on Metacritic, who cares?

If it's good to do something useless but do it really well (some would say that's the definition of art) ("some" would be "me") (maybe), then it's also good to like something for no reason but like it a lot. If you think about it more and then decide you don't really like it, you lose!

It could be worse!

Our neighbors all apparently have Techno clocks. They look at their clocks and say "what time is it?" and the clock says "it's techno time!"
However, I'm working on Networks in Kevin's apartment now, and apparently his neighbors have worse clocks. "What time is it?" "It's Vertical Horizon time!"

That said, I'd trade. At least it's probably not Vertical Horizon time past midnight.

I am excited!

First, about the culinary club! I'm finally starting this club, and it looks good. We had our first cooking demonstration tonight, about 12 people showed up, and it was a success! And my stir-fries tasted good too! Rock on! (hey, if you're interested, here's the website. Send me an email and I'll put you on the dlist!)

Second, I read this: "In Holland, there are twice as many bikes as cars" from here. I'm going to that country! I'm going there! Woooooo!

Speaking of a great concert:

Tally Hall is The Best.

Wow. They usually play "Good Day" to start the show- this time, they opened with the video to "Good Day" shown on a projector screen, then came out and played Freebird. The whole thing. It was so funny! The best part is, half their crowd is about 16 years old, so they didn't get it at all!

Halfway through the show, they decided to come out into the audience, so they waded through us to the back of the room, where they sat up on this ledge and played "Be Born" and "Spring and a Storm" (in the running for the best song ever) using acoustic guitars, bongos, and some weird accordioney thing. Oh yeah, then they played "Down by the Bay." You know, that song you sang in preschool. ("Did you ever see a ____, line that rhymes with _____, down by the bay?")

They are so good! If you are an indie record label, sign them now, because you'll make a whole lot of money when one of the big five steals them.

Nevermind, that's a great concert after all

So AB concerts had 6 choices: Broken Social Scene, Spoon, Sonic Youth, My Morning Jacket, Blackalicious, and some other band I've never heard of. In my view, that's a 4/6 shot of bringing a pretty good show, with Blackalicious and the other band being the not-so-awesome choices. And they picked Blackalicious. Maybe I shouldn't say anything; I don't know from Blackalicious. But come on, any of the other 4 would be so cool.

But it turns out the opener is Andrew Bird! And I don't know about you, but to me, the concert he played out at Point State Park was one of the best concerts I can remember. That should be a cool show. Way to go AB concerts for appealing to everyone.

Of course, it overlaps entirely with an NPP show, but that's a different matter...

And another interesting question:

(prompted by a story Ram told me about Krishna, an incarnation of Vishnu)

... if the Ultimate Power/Grand Being/God Of Everything became incarnated in certain people or things sometimes, would it be easier or harder to get a sense of the grand wonder of the universe? For example, you're walking down the street, and there's a mailbox, but the mailbox starts talking to you and you realize that it's actually God. Or if God were a person, like Jesus, except appearing more than once throughout human history. What if God were all over the place? Say, if He were prevalent enough that everyone knew at least 5 or 6 people who were actually God?

Would that help us? Make us less likely to mess with people, because they might be God? Make us realize that, no matter how miserable we feel, God is probably right around the corner? Or would that make God ordinary, and therefore no longer God?

I suppose, for post 200, this might be appropriate

I wrote this for my Zen midterm (the prompt: "write anything"). It was compiled in about an hour, so it's not The Best. Also, it wasn't written for people who read this all the time, so it's pretty much a rehashing of a lot of things I've said here- it might get repetitive. Read at your own risk.

The Dualism of Everything

A Western upbringing, Zen, sub-vocalization, lucid dreaming, and death- five different topics, right? Not necessarily. They’re all intimately related as facets of the grand dualism between everything. Everything has two sides, and the best way to live is to strike a balance between them.

I was raised in a traditional upper-middle-class American family. Two parents, two kids, three houses in increasingly upscale suburbs as the years passed. An excellent public school system, then a well-renowned Catholic high school. A lawyer father and a graphic designer mother. My family’s love and support, my tremendous education, and enough resources to fill my every material need prepared me to do whatever I want. Now I’m in a top-notch college, studying computer science. I could become an entrepreneur, start the next Google, and make billions. I could become a world-renowned researcher and develop the next algorithm that’s used in computers all over the world. I could go into politics, writing, engineering—maybe not literally “whatever I want”, but at least close. I have ambition, ability, dedication, and all sorts of other traits that sound good in a job interview.

That’s one side of the equation.

But people who go straight for the money, people who pursue fame and fortune, always end up sad, right? So there’s another side to life. It’s the unselfish, ambitionless, powerless, meek, content, and caring side. It’s the side that doesn’t care if you don’t get the job, or even if you get the job but royally screw something up- you’re appreciated anyway. The side that’s not so much about being yourself as it is about being nobody. Being part of the grand unity of everything. You’re not a special little cupcake; you’re the same as everyone else. But it’s okay!

So there’s the other side.

For clarity, let’s call the first side of everything “Western” and the second “Eastern.” I figure these labels are as good as any. I’ve considered “conservative” and “liberal”, but those have too many associations with current politicians; “masculine” and “feminine”, but that’s a whole different ball of wax; and “yang” and “yin,” but I’m not entirely sure if that’s the same idea, and I’d hate to appropriate religious terms and then misuse them a bunch. (Is it the same? Maybe I should start saying yang and yin)

The point is, I feel like I know the worldly, Western side of life, pretty well, but I’m downright befuddled as to the Eastern side. What is it? The Christian church (the only one I’ve really known- and I’ve seen a couple sides, Methodist and Catholic) tosses the word “love” out there, and just lets it fill the space. Love of God, love of one’s neighbor. The Christian goes to church every week to proclaim, or at least convince himself, that he loves God a lot. Maybe he’s got a nice family and some good friends too, and he can love them. But as half of life itself, that seems pretty shallow. I like to ski a lot, and I feel like it’s more than just a sensory pleasure. There’s some deep, Eastern significance to learning to do something well, and doing what you love, God and all other people aside. I think.

So how does this all relate to Zen? I don’t know much about Zen, or any Eastern religion, but it seems like they tend to revolve around the “Eastern” parts of life- becoming “one with everything,” losing yourself, finding nirvana. (Meanwhile, the Western religions focus on doing good works so St. Peter will let you through the pearly gates- again, working hard to attain something.) It seems like this Eastern enlightenment is something you can’t attain by working at it. Which is why it’s so hard for a Western kid like me.

When I meditate, there are constantly words going through my head. I feel like I haven’t thought a thing unless I’ve put it into words. Maybe this slows me down while I’m reading, maybe not- that’s beside the point. I see this sub-vocalization as just another way I try to control everything around me and work harder to get to the next goal. Also, while I’m meditating, why don’t I think about something useful to get something done, instead of wasting a half hour? See, I consciously realize that that’s nonsense- the point of meditation is to sit there and NOT do anything. But I can’t seem to tell that to my subconscious mind.

At any rate, I’m trying too hard, thinking too hard, and trying to develop a capacity to lose myself, to fully exist in a moment, and to love. So here’s where the last couple of points come in, and why I think I still have a chance at achieving some sort of happy balance in life. First of all, I had a lucid dream the other night. I didn’t do anything unusual- I went flying for a bit, and it was really exhilarating- but I remember thinking that I can’t concentrate too hard on any one thing or I’ll wake up and lose it all. I was able to exist in this not-concentrating-but-still-existing-and-enjoying state for a few minutes, and that’s the kind of thing I’d like to be able to do more. It was pretty euphoric.

Also, I’m somewhat unafraid of death, as came up in class. I’ve dreamt about dying a few times, and it’s always peaceful. I realize that, when I die, everything I’m trying so hard to accomplish won’t matter. I think that, the more I keep that in my mind, the more I’ll be able to accept the little things that come up, and the happier I’ll be.

Ultimately, it’s all about balance, just like everything else. Keeping my life in balance between the ambitious Westerner and the peaceful Easterner seems to be the key to happiness. But the more I put it into words, and the more I think about it, the more I just don’t get it, because there are some things you can’t figure out by thinking really hard. So I’ll stop now.

iiiiiiironic

Headline: Freed Nazi guard is a man without a country

Story: this former Nazi guard, Johann Leprich, was found and we tried to deport him, but no other country would take him.

Last two lines: "Leprich was arrested in 2003 when authorities found him hiding behind a panel under the basement stairs at his family's home about 20 miles northeast of Detroit."

Whoa. Apparently what goes around comes around.

One down, one to go

Just handing in the first project for THE HARDEST. Networks is half done. It doesn't get any harder than that.

I still hate it for killing my last week. Also for some other reasons. But whatever... done now... no more computers!

This is why I write down my dreams:

10/13/06: Gerrit was making some drinks. He had this bottle that said something like "Lake Trout" on it. I asked him what he was making, and he said it was a "One-Trick William." I said, "What's a One-Trick William?" He said (casually, as if this were something that everyone should know), "It's a vodka and fish."

Where's Dumbledore when you need him...

Geez. North Korea, come on.

Two books that I've read come to mind:
1. Calculating God by Robert J. Sawyer- just some novel. But there was a really interesting part: these aliens come to Earth and say that, although they can travel throughout the galaxy, they haven't found many other living species because, as they say, there's only a small window of time that any species can be found by extraterrestrials. Why? Because of technology. You can't be found by aliens unless you've developed radio. However, after you develop radio, technology keeps increasing faster and faster until a super-atomic-bomb, powerful enough to blow up the whole planet, becomes common enough that anyone can get one. And, sooner or later, someone who's actually mentally insane (if not someone who's just really power-hungry) will get one and detonate it.

2. Harry Potter- life's tough. But then Dumbledore swoops in, with about 30 pages left, and saves everything!

Oh well. It's like they say about toast: 185 pieces of toast walk into a bar, and SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!

Boycott 7up.

7up is now claiming to be "100% natural." It's all over their ad campaign.

Why this is false:
-7up still contains (a lot of) high fructose corn syrup, just like most sodas. High fructose corn syrup is like sugar, except it's distilled from corn in a factory. Sure, it came from corn originally, but that doesn't mean it's "natural."
-7up also contains potassium citrate. That's a chemical.
-To be fair, the drink is mostly carbonated water. That's not particularly natural either. But whatever- carbonated water, take it or leave it. The main issue is the HFCS.

Why this is bad:
-People might buy it, thinking it's actually natural, or even healthy.

What you should do:
-Boycott 7up.

-Spread the word.

-If you're a real badass, also boycott Dr. Pepper, A&W Root Beer, Snapple, Sunkist, Canada Dry, Hawaiian Punch, Schweppes, Mott's Apple Juice, IBC, Stewart's, Nantucket Nectars, and Orangina. They're all owned by Cadbury Schweppes, which owns 7up.

-Also boycott RC Cola, Diet Rite, Slush Puppie, Clamato, Mr. and Mrs. T, Holland House, Rose's, Mistic, and Yoo-hoo. Cadbury Schweppes also owns them. But who drinks them anyway?

As they say, this chaps my ass real bad.

I just experienced one of those moments that makes life worthwhile

walking back from Wean. It was dark, it smelled so much like fall, I was listening to "The Mistress Witch of McClure (or, the Mind that Knows Itself)" off of Sufjan Stevens's "The Avalanche", and it was warm. Just thought I'd share, so it doesn't seem like my life is all doom and gloom. Really, it's pretty nice most of the time!