I want to post, but I have so little to say

I want to shout my little yawp from the rooftops, but yeah, there's not a lot to say.

I did see my parents this weekend, which was nice. Good to catch up. They were very excited about my interviews. I am too. It will be nice once I have these interviews and I can nail down whether I have a job offer from them or not.

Also, we had an excellent improv show. If we can get more than 8 people to show up in the audience, that would be really nice.

I was thinking about pro sports, and how they're really pretty silly, right? Two arbitrary teams compete in this arbitrary competition, and you cheer for the one that happens to come from the city you live in. But given that they're silly, they're kind of perfect, because they provide some filler to life. Ooh, I just thought of a good analogy!

People are like colored flashlights, all right? You want to mix colors together and make new brighter colors and so on. But it's like people are flashlights outside with nothing around. If you have no substance, you can't reflect off of anything. Pro sports, for example, provide some dust in the air. If you and another person are hanging out, and just shining your lights out there, nothing happens. But if the air is all dusty, you can kind of see the beam that you each shoot, (like lightsabers!) and then you can interact. Similarly, if you have something to talk about, some experience that you share, then that gives meaning to your interaction, even if the experience itself (watching a football game) is meaningless. The worth of an interaction is measured not only through the strength of the lights but also by the amount of dust in the air.

Fair metaphor? Even if it means I equated people with flashlights, which sounds like goddamn Successories nonsense?

Point/counterpoint: XKCD

Point:
Counterpoint: It's terribly drawn. Maybe it'd be funny as a joke blog or something. It's like a movie that just shows a test pattern while talking over it.
Point:
Counterpoint: It's just nerd humor. Anyone can (and at this goddamn school, anyone has) just take a stupid joke and make a "comic" out of it. It's unoriginal and lame.
Point:
Counterpoint: Really, I'm just jealous. Because I'll make a joke, and then I'll go reading through the archives, and I'll think: Shit! They beat me to it!

Oldies but goodies

A few songs today that have sent shivers down my spine or made me dance or sing or otherwise wax ecstatic:

Once in a Lifetime, by the Talking Heads
Almost Crimes, by Broken Social Scene
Common People, by William Shatner, covering Pulp
Solta o Frango, by Bonde Do Role
Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above, by CSS

Amen to this!

I mean, this.
-Dan
connecting (maybe) with all you readers right now, through technology
or at least introducing another subject to make for better conversation with you readers next time I do talk to you in real life.

PS. I got a new IPOD NANO, used, for $40! Bargains make me glad! The return of music in my ears makes me more glad!
PPS. more excitingly, I got an interview with Google! In Seattle, too! Yeah!
PPPS. hi Google recruiters; check it out, I'm excited about your company!

Two more things I like a lot:

1. Andrew Bird's song "Simple Exercises." Catchy and epic at the same time!
2. Copper. It's so well drawn! And that sort of cute-and-deep (but not too cute) combo that I love (see: The Little Prince). This one is ... apropos.

Two thoughts about tomorrow's TOC:

1. I'm really disappointed that there kind of isn't a place for me at SilverTree Media.
2. Sorry, Redback Networks.You're off my list. Note that I wrote that post in summer 2005.

How can anyone expect me to sleep

when I can turn on the version of "Scenic World" that's on Beirut's "Lon Gisland" EP (the original is pretty good too) and it's autumn, and it's getting that delicious chilliness in the air, and life is so goddamn good and there's nostalgia because it's fall and there's future nostalgia when you know you'll look back on these halcyon days that you're experiencing right now and there's so much being AWAKE to be done!

Me and my old Schwinn WorldSport

The poor thing. I treat it like crap sometimes. But then it goes and does this to me... the little bastard.

We've got a slightly dysfunctional relationship. It's like a horse that I never feed, yet still expect to keep working. It's down to four gears (it has 10, but I don't know from derailleurs, so I haven't been able to fix the other 6), of which one slips. They're all a little rusty. The wheels are not bad, although the back one has a little bump that rubs against the brakes sometimes. The brakes are pretty good. There's a light on the front that works, and a blinky on the back that has no batteries (which reminds me, I should fix that!); a lock that attaches to the frame but rattles around, and pedals that work fine but are sharp! I can't ride it without shoes. The seat causes super numbness if I ride it for any distance, and the seat post and handlebars are a couple inches too short for me.

There are stickers: Free Ride, Tally Hall, WRCT, "Commute to Work", and a crappy Grand Buffet that looks like hell. It's got character.

Sometimes I feed it new parts. It's always a pain, though, because there are two options:
1. Free Ride, which is awesome in theory, but always a negative experience in practice. They have a lot of tools, but not necessarily good parts. (what do you expect for free?) And they're open at odd hours (Tuesday/Thursday like 6-10, Saturday 1-5), meaning that whenever I go, I've got to get stuff done quick! And I have to be able to ride the bike home, so I better not mess anything up. Plus it's dark and grimy, but that sometimes makes me feel good, like "Look at me, I can do manual labor too!" (the punchline: I can't. I'm so useless.)

2. Biketek or Pittsburgh Pro, which are good bike shops in theory, but when you leave, your wallet will be many dollars lighter, and your self-esteem will be many notches lower. Welcome to the Bike Shop. Our special is a heaping plate of condescension with a side of bike parts. Can I take your order and scoff at you?
They are a lot closer, though, and open at somewhat-reasonable hours. (Only somewhat, though.) So the other day, I went in there asking for a tire (my old tire was rotting and awful), tube (I got a spare tire from Matt Joachim, but it was a slightly different size), or maybe wheel (to fix the aforementioned bump, while I'm at it). After a few brusque questions, the guy established that I don't even know what size wheels I have. (surprise! 700 mm != 27 inches. Also, they don't even make 27 inch wheels anymore. Oh bike, you are so old.) Then he sold me a $15 tire, and tried to sell me a $45 wheel. My entire bike cost less than that!

Whatever. I made it happen. Got the tire. Put it on. Also added a little screw that was never there before, that according to the Free Ride folks (a while ago) would fix my derailleur woes.

So I'm heading to campus, listening to my ipod (which I wasn't sure if I wanted to bring, but decided to at the last minute), and I switch gears, and I have a couple seconds of blinding terror where NOTHING IS WORKING and I'm not sure why and before I know it I'm skidding along the ground, and I have the presence of mind to get up and get out of the road before it hits me that I just fell down, and I hope I am not bleeding too much (luckily I'm not) and the adrenaline jolt and LCD Soundsystem's "Get Innocuous!" are jazzing me up enough that I yell out a prodigious "FUCK!" and start cursing at my bike. Turns out my chain fell off and got stuck between the gears and the frame, causing my back wheel to stop turning.

Look, bike, I just tried to fix you! I gave you an entire new tire! Whatever. I have no big wounds, so I keep rolling down to campus.

It's only when I get to improv and go to turn off my ipod that I realize it is all broken! The screen ist kaput! The buttons aren't the most functional! The "lock" switch doesn't work! Well, it still plays music, although the last couple days where its battery has lasted about 40 minutes have given me reason to doubt that too. My phone's screen is a little messed up, but not in any way that affects its function. (although it seemingly has started answering itself if I don't answer it. if you call me and hear My Pocket: Greatest Hits instead of voice mail, I apologize!)

Hey, bike, come on! If you don't like me, give me another one of those injuries where my foot slips off the pedal and hits me in the heel and it bleeds a little bit but leaves a cool scar. But don't take it out on the ipod! You two are a team! Between the two of you, I can get anywhere, and really enjoy it!

Sigh. Two things have come out of this, though:

1. I'm probably in the market for a new mp3 player, so I'm open to suggestions. I've had great experiences with the ipod nano, and terrible experiences with a Samsung YP-U2J. I'm not all so sure I want to deal with the Apple monopoly, though. I do want flash memory, a backlit screen that's not dumb, the ability to play an album straight through or shuffle, and no nonsense with connecting/downloading/etc. Capacity is not a big deal- 1gb is fine. The cheaper the better. This is a good thing, because it lets me buy new technology, which is always fun. Plus, it doesn't even cancel out the raise I got for TAing, so in terms of overall luck, I'm still ahead!

2. Cause and effect: check this out.
If I hadn't tried to replace the tire AND gotten this screw and "tip" from Free Ride, I wouldn't have adjusted the derailleur and therefore wouldn't have fallen.
AND
If I hadn't decided to take my ipod at the last minute, I wouldn't have broken it.
AND
If I hadn't been going to break dancing that night, I wouldn't have worn gym shorts, and maybe better pockets would have saved the ipod.
AND
If I had bought the new wheel, I would have bent it too, which would have sucked.

Okay, whatever. But here's a cool cause-and-effect chain: yesterday I was coming back to campus, and I had this impending feeling of doom that this car would hit me. (it didn't, don't worry.) But I was wearing my helmet, because Sarah convinced me that I should after I told her about my wreck on Thursday, and it only came up because we were talking about music and I mentioned that my ipod was all broken. So, if the car HAD hit me:
Going to break dancing -> wearing gym shorts
Replacing tire + screw from Free Ride + wearing gym shorts + grabbing ipod at the last minute -> fall + broken ipod.
broken ipod -> conversation about bike crash + I decide to wear my helmet
wearing helmet -> not dying when car hit me
So in a way, my life would have been saved because I tried to replace my tire, I got this screw from Free Ride, I was going to break dancing class, and at the last minute I decided to take my ipod.

The life you save, quite unintentionally, may be your own!

A few slangs and catch phrases you should know when talking/emailing to me

Hi! I'm glad to hear from you. However, to avoid possible misunderstandings, I'm just going to throw a few terms out there. Hate to impose extra cognitive load on you, but I'm sure we all use certain slangs and we may or may not know what each other's slangs mean. Plus, this way, you can be in on my inside joke, and what is friendship, really, besides a series of inside jokes?

Also, this serves the purpose of properly citing the sources of all my slang, so that the right people can get credit. Or blame. Your call.

So if I say, for example, "Is it The Best?" (or Worst, or Biggest, or Smallest, or whatever) that's an Alex Grubbism. It's meant mostly facetiously, as in when Will would say something was good and Grubb would respond with "But is it... The Best?" just to antagonize him. Hopefully you can catch when I'm capitalizing The Best in conversation.

On the topic of Alex Grubb, "Why would anyone do that?" is another rhetorical question. I probably agree that what you're doing has merit. It's a sort of sarcastic throwaway.

I picked up saying "great" from Will. It might sound sarcastic, but it actually means something is great. For example, seeing Live at the Pittsburgh Pirates game is great.

This is not to be confused with writing "GREAT" or "AWESOME" in capital letters, which I picked up from Ram. Same idea- it actually means something is very good. But it carries more of a connotation of very genuine excitement, whereas saying "great" a la Will is just acknowledging something great.

XOXO is another one I've stolen from Ram, although not actually used much. It's a signoff on an email, as in "XOXO Ram." Though I don't use it much, I do appreciate it. I think the reason I haven't stolen more slang from Ram is that it's all very genuine, and I think copying it would make it lose some of its sincerity.

Back to AWESOME, though. "AWESOME" is also a nice segue into Brian Gadomski slang that I have picked up. For those of you who don't know him, Brian is a friend from high school. He is also a juggler, which is how I got to know him, although that's not true, because I actually got to know him because he is the brother of Pete Gadomski, one of my best friends from high school. A long time ago, he made a short film, like a minute long, about a kid who's just wandering around. Then he meets a friend who says "what are you doing?" "eh, nothing." And then they jump into the air and the screen goes "AWESOME!" all 60's-like or something. The Go! Team is on in the background. It wasn't a great film. But I do mean "AWESOME!" in that sense sometimes.

Other Brian Gadomski slang I've adopted:
"Book" = "cool"
"Choin" = "cool" but you're a loser if you say "choin", so I try not to say it.
"Bru" = "bro" except it's so much cooler than saying "bro".
Oh, and "It could be worse." I've been big on this one recently. It's a two-person line, really. The idea is like this: someone complains about something ("Man, the weather's bad today"). Person A says "It could be worse." Person B thinks up an extreme outlandish way in which it sure could be worse. ("Yeah, it could be raining hot molasses!")

"Fresh" has been kept alive in my memory by Brian, but it really started with Erik, another one of my best friends from high school. It means what it meant back in 1992: good. I should point out that a lot of the slang I picked up from Erik (which is a lot!) came from Magic: the Gathering players. I think the only other one I use is "What a hopping" = "Man, that's rough."

And then there's the catch phrases I've picked up from Brian Gray, which might as well be a different language. A recent favorite is "Try this delicious soup, Samuel." "I'm orange!" I offer no explanation.

Err... and then there's the Adam Jaffe catch phrases, which are a different language, and varying degrees of offensive. If I say "er-ver-car-durrs" instead of "avocados", or talk about popping up in your car's backseat with your favorite Chingy CD, or claim that my name is "Wenis McGee", ... well, the only excuse I have is that these things happened in an improv scene.

Hey, the Technical Opportunities Conference is next week, which means recruitment is happening, which means employers might be facebooking me, and then might follow the link to my blog. Or they might just Google me. At any rate, hi recruiters! Not only can I bring my sweet COMPUTING SKILLS to your company, I can also bring to you a whole new generation of slang!

A proposal about the nature of life.

Here's a thought, and I have no other way to introduce it besides "here's a thought":

Life is just playing games. You play a game as long as it interests you, and then you transcend it and move on.

When you're a kid, remember how it was always a big deal who was the fastest runner in your class, or who could spell words the best, or whatever? And then you realized, that's dumb, nobody cares. Maybe you entered the science fair, or the football team. I know I personally entered the marching band, Academic Challenge (aka quiz bowl, or whatever you call it), and juggling club. I played those games, got okay at them, but eventually just moved on. I played the college admissions game and the grades game. But I don't care about those anymore. Grades, more or less, are for suckers. I sure don't care about being the best trombonist in marching band anymore.

Now I'm playing the job search and/or grad school game. I'm almost done with the College game. Some of the games I've played on the side: the cooking club game, the exercise game, the "not being a nerd" game. It's all kinda nonsense. Eventually I'll transcend this game too and move on.

Maybe some games do matter: the career game? Maybe the deal with the super-wise monks is that they've transcended those too-- they've transcended ALL the games!

But I'm not saying playing these games was bad. I enjoyed the marching band while I was in it. Hell, I enjoyed Magic: the Gathering back when. I don't wish I never did these things, but at the same time, I don't want to do it again. So while all this sounds like me ranting about how life doesn't matter, that's not what I mean at all.

Just trying to keep it in perspective: All I'm doing is playing games. Enjoying it, but playing games nonetheless.

Also, wow, A Softer World is the best Successories posters for twentysomething* hipsters. Sometimes it's hilarious. Sometimes it's creepy. Sometimes it's kinda awww. Sometimes it's a combination of a couple of those characteristics.

*something = one. Not that I'm insecure about my age. For example, I can't wait until something = forty-five.

Let's make a convention

that if you get a phone call and it embarrasses you, because you're in class or something, it is entirely YOUR fault. Come on. You can turn your phone on or off. If you haven't turned your phone off, then you are willing to accept calls. Done.

Postin' links, postin' links, postin' links, postin' links

This really tickles my fancy. Not sure why.

On a related note, this comic might tickle my fancy. I'm not sure. It is pretty. But sometimes it's just nonsense.
Some good ones:
one
two
three
credit to Daniel Dewey again. And, a couple years ago, Joe McDermott.

The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.

This quote is awesome enough that it makes me want to edit my Facebook profile to actually include it as a quote.

I just keep picturing a fox being all cool and suave and hopping around in all directions, while a little hedgehoggy guy kinda sits there all fat-like and giggles to himself because he knows ONE BIG THING and nobody else does!

I think this is pretty accurate

Webcomic nerd time!
It's true, though.
Credit to Daniel Dewey for (unwittingly) pointing me to this comic. Or "online graphic novel." Call it what you will.

So they're all like "a whole new world" and then Jasmine goes "wait, how big is this carpet?"

Yeah!

I just had the best Concepts recitation ever! Aliens made an appearance, as did Aladdin, Jasmine, and the Genie (who only deals with planar geometry). It kicked ass. I managed to teach polynomial division, too.

It's been a good week. A good day. A good month (and by that I mean, last two weeks or so). A good year. I'm seriously floating on a huge, like, gigantic cloud.

Thank you for everything; I have no complaints whatsoever.

My room is The Reddest.

Plus, I had Google (the class) today. It is nuts. It's held in the Google Pittsburgh office. It's called "Internet Search Technologies." They greeted us with "Welcome! Help yourself to a snack or something to drink." And by "snack or something to drink" I mean big ol' cookies and a fully stocked cooler full of drinks from your common sodas up to and including brand namey newfangled iced teas. We spent the class talking about how to make algorithms work on huge multi-computer systems. At one point they said they had to have everyone tell them their citizenship, because we'll be getting access to some Google machines, and there are issues with exporting or something if they don't get it cleared up.

Funny, after that cookie and bottle of Propel, I found myself wanting to buy some AdWords or let them read my Gmail or something.

And I'm freaking out about the year starting. I'm not going to have time to do anything ever! Gaaarggh! So I'll quit blogging now.

Fence fence fence party paint school

I'm so done with the fence. Boo-yah. It was kinda fun while it lasted. What am I going to do? I'm going to go hang out by the fence. Great! It'll be fun. I can stay there indefinitely. (Maybe I can't leave... but whatever.)

Party last night was kind of fun. I didn't have the greatest time ever; maybe it's because I was hosting and sort of trying to accommodate guests and stuff. I should just relax like everyone else does when they have a party. The drinks went over well though! Wow, you can make stuff that really tastes great when you know what you're doing. That's cool!

Painting my room now. Got the primer up, going to paint it "Crossfire" red-orange tomorrow. SWEET.

And then school starts Monday. I have so few worries now, and how quickly that will change! My inbox is in the single digits. Oh it is nice.

Not a lot to say. And no comics either. I'll get to that, you know, when I do.

Oh, here's something I have to say! How do people ever have anything to say? I can't make conversation-- I don't come up with these mental connections to ask people about something else or to talk about whatever. It's damn awkward. Particularly now, because I'm getting back to school and talking to people I don't really know, and we don't have any common ground to talk about. Drives me nuts. Probably, though, the more you worry about it, the worse it gets.

Fence blogging = flogging?

Nope. Fence dancing = fancing? I've been big on combining words recently.

I've also been at the fence. It's been nice. We (SnS) built a little house out of flats. It's got a roof and everything. By "we" I mostly mean Julie, Elliot, Daniel, and Kevin, because I didn't help much with the building. I did make dinner at one point though. It's kind of fun, being part of this big ol' hoo hah tradition, although I suspect it's only fun because we're just hanging out in our little hut, and doing things like eating big trays of fruit left over from OC training.

Did I mention I went to New Hampshire too? With Kemal and Adam. We visited Pete at the Moosilauke Ravine Lodge. Neat place, mountain next to it, that's cool. I am not super outdoorsy! Surprise! I was real tired by a 10 mile hike up and down that mountain. My friends were not fazed- they started up a soccer game right afterwards. There was something I was going to say about this. I forgot what it was.

Going to go do an International Orientation thing. I'm a helper with International Orientation. I guess it's cool.

Oh, by the way, why did I EVER think about being an OC (for the real orientation)? That is the dumbest shit ever! All that fake enthusiasm and retarded cheers and motivational talks. I think especially the cheers.
"My head's up high, my feet down low, and this is how I gigolo"?? (in chess notation, they write "??" after a move if it's like a super bad blunder. (EDIT: I wrote "they right ?? ..." before. Who does that?!)) Anyway, that doesn't make any goddamn sense. Here's one:
When I sleep, I like to snore, and this is how I whore!
or
Here's my head, and here's my butt, and this is how I slut!

How about "Show us how to get down" "No way!" "I said, show us how to get down!" "Okay! D-O-W-N and that's the way to get down!" Also dumb. I wish you could apply that argumentation to different parts of life:
"Hey officer, I wasn't going that fast, let me off with a warning!"
"No way!"
"I said, let me off with a warning!"
"Okay! W-A-R-N-I-N-G; no ticket for you, you're going free!" (dances)

Good lord, they're practicing their inspirational speeches now. God help us.

God don't let me be a snob

If I had to make a prayer right now, it would sound something like that. Aargh. In practicing the hobbies that I like (for example, cooking and learning to mix drinks), I've developed this sort of food-snobby attitude. I can't fathom why people are content to buy premade foods and shop at Wal-Mart and drink Bud Light and so on. This is my problem, not theirs; to each his own. But the more I hang around Real Adults, the more I realize that food (and drink) snobbery doesn't make you unique, it just makes you another Whole Foods Asshole.

Yes, I like nice food; if you say stuff like "organic cage-free locally grown farmers market" enough, I'll get all hot and bothered. I also think everyone should buy organic cage-free locally grown farmers market stuff all the time. But so many people are real pompous about it, and I'd rather subsist on frozen pizzas from Aldi than sit around and chit-chat with people who try to hide their unhappiness behind a conversation about how happy they are that they're paying double for a Certified Organic seal.

The point is: I'll keep going on my merry way, but please, if I'm being a snob, smack me around a little bit so I realize not EVERYONE cares how great those blueberries were. Or whatever.

I feel like there's more to this post that maybe I'll expand some other time. Right now, it's past my bedtime.

EDIT: What's wrong with people pretending to be better than others? Nothing, inherently. I mean, if guy A is an ass, and guy B is a good guy, there's nothing wrong with B thinking he's better than A. But the thing with food snobs/organic snobs/etc is that they're not saving the world. They just buy different things. And "saving the world through buying different things" is like donating lots of money to charity... it rings hollow. It's nice, but it really doesn't do that much. Does it? If you want to be green/environmental/whatever, don't buy a hybrid and organic beans; downsize your house to a condo somewhere. Stop eating so damn much.

Still just thoughts swirling in my head, and not a coherent argument for or against anything yet. And my rice has just finished cooking so I better go save it.

GOOGLE MAPS HAS PUBLIC TRANSIT

What!
They do everyone's job better than everyone. The Google Revolution is coming, and it's going to be great.

What I Do (tm)

A couple people have asked me over the last few days what I've been doing all summer, and it's taken me way too many words and I've probably not said anything comprehensible at all. Here's a hopefully concise version of it.

So there are these Machine Translation (MT) systems out there. There are a lot of different kinds, depending on how far up the pyramid they go. A graphic would help here:
Okay. See, you start with an English sentence, and you can translate by just going word-for-word (like Babelfish : "the red house" -> "el rojo casa").
Or you can do some analysis on morphology, meaning you deconstruct each word and then reassemble. (like "I walked" -> (I + walk-past-tense) -> "yo caminé")
Or you can go further to analyze the syntax of the sentence, like "I walked to the store" -> Noun (I) + verb (walk-past-tense) + prepositional phrase (to the store) -> "yo caminé a la tienda." This can be useful with languages like German, where word order sometimes flips around a bit.
Or you can analyze the sentence for its meaning, and this is where things get a little hairy. It'd be something like "I walked to the store" -> (first-person pronoun) + (moving on two feet) + (to the store) -> "yo caminé a la tienda."
And then if you're a real baller, you can translate everything into Interlingua, The One Universal Language (which doesn't exist, but bear with me) and then reconstruct in the target language. This hasn't worked very well, so far.

Anyway, the approach we're using is still mostly word-for-word. It's not as dumb as Babelfish, because it includes triples of words ("trigrams") instead of just words, so it'll know "the red house" -> "la casa roja", not "el rojo casa." So instead of a big word-to-word dictionary, we need a super-big dictionary of three-word phrases. You can't just go to Webster and look that up... you have to build this yourself. So we need a lot of parallel phrases in English and, say, German. Where can we find that? Wikipedia. See on the lower right, where it says "this page in other languages"? Great! So if you look for something thrilling like, say, Subprime mortgage financial crisis, you can easily click on the "Francais" link and see that, in French, it's "Crise des subprimes." Now, whenever our translation system wants to translate an article containing "subprime mortgage financial crisis" into French, instead of looking for each word, it just goes, bam, crise des subprimes.

What have I done? Mostly extracted those page titles, using databases and other cool things, and found that there's not too much interesting that we can do. Maybe we can use other bits of Wikipedia to find more translated phrases. Maybe we can use knowledge that we learn about these words to help us out further. (like if you know "Stevie Wonder" is a guy's name, then we don't have to translate it at all, so we won't accidentally go with "maravilla del Stevie.")

Okay, what do I actually do? Mostly dick around with databases and other stupid things. Bang out some code. Read some papers, and then get confused. If you've never read academic papers, like Academic Papers, you're in for a treat. Pick up whatever journal is preeminent in your field, or whatever conference is The Big One, and start reading. If you can follow it for more than like two pages, congratulations! You're a grad student!

Seriously, though, I'm trying. Eventually this whole field will make sense. I'm figuring I'll solve machine translation (and every other language-related problem) within the next three years.

I'm starting next year by pushing all this Wikipedia nonsense to the back burner. We're going to try to develop a representation of language by going all the way up to the semantic level. Yeah. We're teaching computers what sentences mean. That's right. And we're going to test it by using recipes. So by Spring 2008, I will not only have a badass thesis of like tens of pages, but I'll also have this great recipe software I've always dreamed of.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah! Languages are it! The wave of the future! I've got new comics coming up check them out.

The Album Order Challenge

Among a few friends last night, I got into a somewhat heated discussion as to the best way to order tracks on an album. We agreed that track 1 isn't the ideal location for the best song on an album, the real "knockout punch" if you will. However, my esteemed colleague, one Mr. Gray, insisted that track 2 was the place for it, whereas I preferred it to be buried a little deeper, at track 4.

Before I start, let me make sure I have the particulars of the argument straight.
My point of view: Track 4 is probably the best spot for your best song. It's the centerpiece of the album, it really should show off the best of what you've got and what you're offering to the audience. Track 1 should be an attention-getter, but tracks 2 and 3 should sort of warm up to the big hit at track 4. If you put your centerpiece at track 2, it's too front-heavy, and the end of your album will lag a bit.
Brian's view (and correct me if I'm wrong): Track 2 is the spot for such a song. While that doesn't mean that the best song goes at track 2, it does mean that track 2 should set the tone. Often, track 2 would be the single. Track 4 is less than good because it's too late; people have already judged the album by then, and some people don't even get to track 4.

With that somewhat vaguely defined, I'll put forth the format of the experiment: I'll pick 20 random albums from my itunes (...by a random shuffle; yes, that does favor bands that have more songs on the albums, but it's usually pretty close shut up shut up). For each album, if it's a great album, I'll examine the track ordering (particularly 2 and 4) to see what makes it great, and if it's not so good, I'll look at tracks 2 and 4 for an example of what not to do. Obvious "concept albums" are excepted; if we're talking about The Wall, say, Pink Floyd can do whatever they want with the track ordering, fine. All tracks, including short intros, will be counted as songs (after reflection, I've decided this is the way to go, because pretty much the only thing that intros and interludes count for is the album as a whole.)

So if an album is in favor of the track 2 theory, it gives Beej a point if it's good, and a negative point if it's bad. If it's in favor of track 4, the same holds for me.

Let's begin!
1. iTunes is a piece of crap. It keeps freezing on me. Let's try this again. Okay.

1. Illinois, by Sufjan Stevens. Nice! Okay, this is clearly a great album. And the track order is clearly well-thought-out. Track 2 has a track name that is so long, I can't even find the whole name online. It starts with: "The Black Hawk War, Or, How To Demolish An Entire Civilization And Still Feel Good About Yourself In The Morning, Or, We Apologize For The Inconvenience But You're Gonna Have To Leave Now, Or, 'I Have Fought The Big Knives And Will Continue To Fight...'" It's nice, but it's definitely a warm-up. I mean, it's instrumental. Track 4, on the other hand, is "John Wayne Gacy, Jr.", which may not be the centerpiece of the album, but is one of the most-commented songs on it, and one of the best. Interestingly, the centerpiece would have to be track 3, "Come on! Feel the Illinoise", where the single, "Chicago", is stuffed away at track 9. The only thing that my colleague can say to counter this point is that it's an unusually long album. POINT: ME

2. Daisies of the Galaxy, by Eels. I don't love this album; I don't think it's Eels's best. But then, toss an acoustic guitar in front of me and I'll run screaming. I feel like it sort of folksy-wanders through 14 tracks of ehh. Track 2 is "Packing Blankets", nothing special. Maybe weightier than "I Like Birds" at 4. Neither is stellar. The real star on this album is "Mr. E's Beautiful Blues", the last song; what a baller. Although, I'd argue, that was a gutsy move that didn't turn out too well on his part, because it's a pleasant surprise, but it means the rest of the album is boring. INCONCLUSIVE

SKIPPED: Live at Winterland '68, by Janis Joplin with Big Brother and the Holding Co., because I've never actually listened to it. That's embarrassing! I sorta pride myself on actually knowing all the music that's on my computer (as opposed to bragging "I have 89237 gigs of music!"), and I think I am at about 90%, but I'd rather it be 100.

3. Steve Goldberg and the Arch Enemies, by Steve Goldberg. Hah. Well, I think it's a good album, and he is not the kind of guy who would just toss songs onto the album in any old order. Track 2 is "February Third", a fun song, but it takes a few listens to actually stick in your mind. At track 4, "The Spy Part 1" hits, and any song with Part 1 and Part 2 is going to be a focal point of your album. POINT: ME

4. D-D-Don't Don't Stop the Beat, by Junior Senior. I'm tempted to say it's inconclusive, because the only song that matters ("Move Your Feet") is at track 3, but I think they tried to release "Rhythm Bandits" (track 2) as a second or third single, and it's more fun than the embarrassing gay-straight-haha "Chicks and Dicks" throwaway at track 4. And this isn't a good album. NEGATIVE POINT: BEEJ

5. The Futureheads, by the Futureheads. I hate this album! (despite the pretty good critical review, I think) It's 15 songs, each 2:30, each with a British accent and nothing interesting. Track 4, "Decent Days and Nights" is actually one of the standouts, but really, every song is the same. INCONCLUSIVE

6. More Adventurous, by Rilo Kiley. Eeh, it's too folksy for me, and it got a 75 on Metacritic. Is it good? Well, my favorite songs are 1, 3, and 9. (actually, track 9, "Love and War 11/11/46" is really good!) You know what, on that point, I'll say this is a well organized album. 2 or 4? Track 2, "Does He Love You" is no prize, but I really don't like track 4, "Ripcord", so I'll say 2 is better here. "Ripcord" is a two minute throwaway. POINT: BEEJ

7. Waiter: "You Vultures!", by Portugal. The Man. I say this is a solid album! Think a bit of the Mars Volta, except listenable, and Linkin Park, except not sucking. It's no "best of", but it's good, and they keep the hits coming throughout (1, 8, and 10!). Track 2, "Gold Fronts", is the song I'd play on my radio show, I think, and track 4, "AKA M80 The Wolf", is not so good or important. POINT: BEEJ

8. Winter Women, by Matthew Friedberger. Man, a Fiery Furnaces album would be tough enough, and Matt without his sister Eleanor to rein him in is just experimentally noodling all over the place. It's not a bad album, but it's a thick 16 tracks, and if you'd care to make sense of this album's structure, go for it; I sure haven't. INCONCLUSIVE

9. Discovery, by Daft Punk. Your call: "Aerodynamic" (2) or "Harder Better Faster Stronger" (4)? POINT: ME

SKIPPED: Mugimama is this Monkey Music?, by Mugison. This is retarded. Come on.

10. Lincoln, by They Might Be Giants. Great album, but I don't know this track order at all, because I've only heard these songs on "Then: The Earlier Years." Let's take a look! Okay, "Ana Ng" is far and away the best on this album and probably the second best thing TMBG's ever done, and maybe in my top 20 songs of all time. It's track 1. After that, a cool-down is in order, so "Cowtown" is a goofy, relaxing track 2; "Lie Still, Little Bottle" brings you through track 3 to this album's third best song, "Purple Toupee", at track 4. Props to them for saving "They'll Need a Crane" all the way at 14. POINT: ME

11. Liquid Tension Experiment 1, by Liquid Tension Experiment. Crazy instrumental supergroup, including a bunch of Dream Theater, I think. Good album, but the centerpiece is a five-part "Three Minute Warning" at the end, plus "Paradigm Shift" at track 1. 2 and 4 are both interludey throwaways. (the fact that the interludes are 3:26 and 2:00 points to this album's reckless indulgence) INCONCLUSIVE

12. Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea, by PJ Harvey. Great album. Ergh; but it's sort of a big mood, not a bunch of ups and downs. (except "The Mess We're In", at 7, which is cool) "Good Fortune" (2) and "One Line" (4) are both good... I'd argue "One Line" fits more with the theme of this album, so I'll give myself a weak point. POINT: ME

13. The Sunlandic Twins, by Of Montreal. One of my favorites ever. Tracks 1-7 are a stream of sonic gold. But I'd say the graph of awesomeness vs. track goes like this:
Track 2 is a little better than track 4. I'll give you this one. POINT: BEEJ

14. CSS, by Cansei de Ser Sexy. Damn! There's only one good song, and it's "Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above," and it's track 4. NEGATIVE POINT: ME

15. The Real Thing, by Faith No More. While FNM is a respectable band (listen to the album Angel Dust), and some of Mike Patton's other stuff is even cooler, this album is still sorta a touchstone for rap-rock. Singles are tracks 2 ("Epic"... you know, that "you want it all but you can't have it" song) and 3 ("Falling to Pieces"). Responsible for Linkin Park -> Not a good album. NEGATIVE POINT: BEEJ

SKIPPED: Push Bar Man to Open Old Wounds, by Belle and Sebastian. It's a collection of old EP's and B-sides, so the track list isn't really relevant.

16. Talking Heads 77, by Talking Heads. Great album, but the hits are, in my mind, all in the second half ("The Book I Read", "Don't Worry About the Government", and of course "Psycho Killer.") I give them credit for that. "New Feeling" at 2 is a lot more important to the album than "Happy Day"- it gives you that goofy jerky Talking Heads feel, and "Happy Day" at 4 doesn't do much. POINT: BEEJ

SKIPPED: Frank's Wild Years by Tom Waits. It's on my iPod now, honest!

SKIPPED: Boat of Confidence by the Pathways. This album is no good, I don't know why I ripped it, I've listened to it like twice, and I always mean to delete it. Okay, it's deleted now.

17. Let Me Introduce My Friends, by I'm from Barcelona. One, maybe two good songs, and they're #3 and #4. Treehouse (4) is the better of the two. But this is a bad album. NEGATIVE POINT: ME

18. Everything All The Time, by Band of Horses. I'm not a big fan of this album, but the critics kinda like it. Track 4 ("Funeral") is really the centerpiece, and the only really notable song, though. I like "Our Swords" (3) better. POINT: ME

SKIPPED: Thought for Food, by the Books. I think they're a concept band. Don't ask me what concept that is.

19. Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum, by Tally Hall. Didn't we already discuss this? Well, it is good, anyway. The songs, individually, are hit or miss, but they manage to space it out well so there's no dead stretch. It's frustrating that we're debating "Taken for a Ride" (4) vs. "Greener" (2), when they're surrounded by "Good Day" (1), "Welcome to Tally Hall" (3), and "The Bidding" (5). But given those two, "Taken for a Ride" is really the better song. "Greener" is straight out of Yellowcard or, I dunno, Dashboard Confessional or something, while "Taken for a Ride" is a good dose of Tally Hall with a couple punches of the Polyphonic Spree. POINT: ME

SKIPPED: Geogaddi, by Boards of Canada. Sorry to skip so many! I don't know each individual track on this one well enough to comment. I just know I really like this sound.

20. Bows and Arrows, by the Walkmen. Aargh! Screw the Walkmen! This album sucks a lot. Besides "The Rat" (2), every song is a bunch of whining to death. NEGATIVE POINT: BEEJ

So, add them all up, and what do you get? 7 - 2 = 5 for me, 4 - 3 = 1 for Beej. Hey, surprise, I did a little survey by myself, on my own rules, and I won. This is not how science works. Or even criticism. But I did convince myself, and if I didn't convince you, well, I welcome thoughtful critiques!

They missed "Oedipus Rex and the Motherfuckers"

but this is still a pretty good band name list.

Belle and Sebastian and The Knife and Justice and Staind

That's been my last month... one part halcyon, one part straight out rocking and everything I hoped it could be, one part pounding and driving (in a good way!), and one little bit of boring sticking its face in the door at the end there.

I'd say it's had its ups and downs, but really, it's only had its ups. For like three weeks I was on fire! Firing on all pistons all the time! I wanted nothing more than to be doing whatever I was doing in five minutes (which means I was startlingly close, like five minutes away, from being pretty much enlightened all the time). I've said before I think I get manic depression without the "depression" part; if so, I just had a big bout of mania.

A few instances stick in my head. Exactly twice, I got this absolutely exhilarating feeling while I was biking to work down the hill in Schenley Park. It's a pretty ride- a road through a golf course- and definitely the best commute I've ever had. It's been lovely weather- not too hot, often cloudy (and I love my clouds). Plus, I was going downhill, which is always nice. Anyway, I felt ACTUALLY THERE, I just was absorbing all the outside color, and I was listening to great music, so I was soaking that in too, and it was so euphoric my eyes just started tearing up and I couldn't even pedal, I just coasted, loving the moment. I mean, it was orgasmic, in a sense, or like the high points of mushrooms (would hypothetically be if I had ever tried them). I also felt like "maybe this is it; this is what nirvana is like; this is what those monks who meditate their whole lives always feel like."

All the same, I figured I'd be more enlightened, on the whole. Why? I dunno, because I spent a semester in Europe? (Note to spiritual seekers: you won't find it studying in Europe. The typical study abroad is a glorified five-month vacation with classes sometimes.) Because it was foreign? Because I hung out with stoners? I dunno why I thought I'd change in big ways from just one semester. But I felt good, in Europe, and at home, and here again. I felt like life made sense, and yeah, it's uncertain, but I'll do fine. Don't worry. You can do whatever you want.

So what's wrong? Well, the edge is wearing off; I'm getting a little bored with my work; waking up in the morning isn't so easy anymore. The biggest thing is that I'm still the same old me, neurotic and mostly Western. I worry a lot. I'm not at ease, even with my friends. I know what I should be doing (focus on others, not be full of myself), but I don't have the presence of mind to do it. And the more you worry, the more you're concentrating on yourself, and it's a spiral into your own goddamn belly button. So I'll stop talking about it now!

To remind myself: thank you for everything; I have no complaints whatsoever.

Mornington Crescent

I knew it first as a song title on Belle and Sebastian's The Life Pursuit, then as a London tube stop, and now it's a game. I guess it was a game a while ago. Read the rules. It's Bob Barry! There's also a link to Mad Magazine's fantastic 43-man Squamish. Note that most of the games like these are pretty nerdy. Mornington Crescent, even, seems to be nerdy and full of itself, so while I appreciate the premise, I'd rather enjoy a round of Bob Barry any day. But I'm glad someone's playing these, anyway.

AAAAAAaaaaaaaaa Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter

NO SPOILER ALERT. Look, I'm not going to put spoilers on my blog, a week after the book came out. You can read this, don't worry.

What I will say is that I'm sorry it's over. I think that's the longest series I've ever read. (if you've read a longer one, let me know!) I mean, if you count Hardy Boys and stuff, I probably read more of those back in the day, but they were like 100 pages each, and not a continuous story.

Whoop, check that, I read the Wheel of Time, which is like 10 books of 1000 pages each. But by about book 7, they got kinda boring because nobody would do anything.

I got attached to the characters! And the whole world! The level I got drawn into that world was somewhere on the level of Final Fantasy VII or Chrono Trigger, and if you're a geek, you know that means something. More than the Wheel of Time, for sure. It felt like a good RPG: good characters, story, and a lot of fun items and spells along the way.

I was a little disappointed by the ending; the last chapter in particular. And the epilogue. But whatever; at that point it was seven books of history crashing down and JK could have had Harry Wingardium-leviosa a jar of jelly to smack Voldemort in the face, and I wouldn't have cared.

One more thing: wasn't it a cool phenomenon? It was pretty much accepted that you were reading this book, no matter who you are. It was also pretty much accepted that you can't talk about it if there are people around who haven't finished it. I've never seen anything like it!

Okay, make that two more things. Here's a comparison: J.K. Rowling is the Beatles of books. Sure, we've had popular novels before, but nothing to get everyone reading like Harry Potter did. Similarly, we had music before the Beatles, but everyone listened to the Beatles. Harry Potter and the Beatles are both easily consumed, like so much candy, but they both have some depth behind them too. (the Beatles more than J.K., probably, but hey, time will tell) She's no Shakespeare, but the Beatles aren't Mozart. They're both the best at what they do: J.K . Rowling is the best popular novelist, and the Beatles are the best rock and roll band.

So what's next? Will books evolve and flourish like Rock and Roll has? If so, it's an exciting time to be a reader!

Official Government Things

What better way to commemorate my 300th post than with the launch of my new series of cartoons?
Official Government Things
I'll be posting more or less one cartoon a day. Putting them online gives me some incentive to actually keep up with it, and as anyone who has ever done anything knows, that's the hardest part!

Hey, would you give me a kiss? Just a quick smooch?

Harry Potter 7 came out, and we were dementors- Greg, Josh, Missy, and I. We draped sheets over our heads, walked through the line outside Barnes & Noble asking for souls, or maybe just a kiss (surprise! Then we'd take their soul too!) or hey, would you be interested in a free vacation to Azkaban? We were the best.

Speaking of the best, life is spinning along like a Yomega Fireball, which is to say, pretty well! I'm constantly wired full of energy, and I'm sleeping 7-7.5 hrs/night. Work is pretty cool; I'm not sure if I'm doing anything that's worth doing, or what, but the professor and grad students that I'm working with seem pretty happy, and it's sometimes fun and the hours are easy, anyway. I'm surrounded by whatever friends haven't graduated and left, which is surprisingly many. Plus, I finally feel like I did junior year of high school, which is to say "king of the school"... I know my way around this place now, so I can do anything, say anything to anyone, and if you don't like it, bugger off! It's a good place to be.

Plus, I have my iPod, so I'm assimilating music into my mental jukebox.
Recent listens:
Architecture in Helsinki- Places Like This- eergh. Getting lamer and lamer each listen. It's just not got the same pop that "In Case We Die" had. They're trying to go more rock-y or something. Hey, you know what happened when Weezer did that? Right... they sucked a lot. If you're a pop band, that's nothing to be ashamed of.
Battles- Mirrored- Again, the opposite of "growing on me." It's sounding like proggy noodling, not awesome futuristic rock. It's good, but not great, to me at least.
The Hold Steady- Separation Sunday- not quite a fan. I like Craig Finn's vocal delivery- the whole angry talky thing is really pretty cool, and the lyrics are pretty good- but the music itself just bores me. Well, I never was much for classic rock.
Justice- + ("cross")- Hah, I still like this one. Not sure why- none of the songs are really that great, and some ("The Party", "Stress") are hard to listen to, for one reason or another. But whatever- no matter what I'm doing, it makes me pump my fist.
The Knife- Silent Shout- SO GOOD. Did I mention this is good? Here are some adjectives: Danish spooky fist-pumpy icy dancy synthesized pop. If any of those appeal to you, listen to this.
Manitoba- Up In Flames- pretty relaxing, but I wouldn't fawn all over it like the critics apparently did. It is nice. But it's a little too passive for me.
The Rapture- Pieces of the People We Love- This is nice! Yeah, they've got a British accent, but I'd put them two steps ahead of, say, The Futureheads, because they're about fun pop, not British-accent-punk-rock. "Get Myself Into It" has fun drums, "The Devil" has fun saxophone, ... oh yeah, they have a saxophone. There are a couple dull tracks, but overall, a fun listen, even if it's not that substantial.
The Smiths- Singles- Arggh too mopey and 80's and bland. Yeah, that's right, I don't like the Smiths.
OutKast- Speakerboxxx/The Love Below- well, I've done my fair share of making fun of "Hey Ya", and also my fair share of worshiping it as the one top-40 song that actually deserves top-40 status, and well, I suppose it was time I actually listen to this. Now, I'm not a hip-hop critic, but Outkast is pretty much rap for white kids, right? Also, I like pop, and this is as poppy as the next album. It's true what they say, Speakerboxxx (Big Boi's half) is better than The Love Below (Andre3000's half), but they're on different ends of the "black music" (to use a European phrase) spectrum. Speakerboxxx seems to me to be classic hip-hop, maybe a little funkier than most (like on "the rooster" or "bowtie"), but I like that. I really like "Knowing." The Love Below is Andre's R&B sort of disc, pretty much entirely about sex. (song titles include "spread", "vibrate", and "where are my panties?") Whatever, that's fine; also, he's enough of a character to pull this off. And if you listen to it, you'll realize what an accomplishment that is. (sample lyrics: "your roses really smell like poo poo") Well, it mostly works, that is. It wears thin towards the end. A double album with 39 tracks has to have some self-indulgence, and Andre claimed more than his half. Fine. Whatever. Hey Ya is still such a goddamn good song that if there's one song that people remember from the decade, forget the Arcade Fire, forget Broken Social Scene, forget Ted Leo, but remember Hey Ya.

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Life is cooler than being cool.

Request for Comments: Laptop Computer for my Sister

If you were some kind of humanities student who doesn't need computing power at all, what would you get?

For example, how about this?

My main questions:
1. Brand: which brands are the most reliable? Here's how I see it: IBM/Lenovo, Sony, and Toshiba are first-class, then maybe HP, then Dell. (Apple's not really in the game, because their basic iBook or whatever costs over $1000, and we can get one of these other brands for cheaper)
2. Celeron vs. Core 2 Duo: I've always been wary of Celerons, but I'm not sure why. Should we spend the extra $50-100 for the mainstream Core 2?
3. Windows XP or Vista? (anyone who says anything about Linux will get pounded, even though I sort of might agree with you)
4. Anything else I (she) should know?

Any input you have would be great!

WILL WORK FOR BOOZE

So, being a full-fledged adult, I think it'd be pretty classy to learn to mix drinks. In my ideal world, I'd go to bartending school for a couple weeks, but then, in my ideal world, I'm an executive chef at the Wootraunt*. So I'll buy a book and teach myself. Fine. If I'm going to learn to mix drinks, I also need to start a liquor collection, because I don't own any. I've budgeted $100 to buy a few bottles, to get me started. Okay, cool.
* the Wootraunt is the (sadly, still hypothetical) restaurant that works on the Woot.com business model, where they sell one thing, which is high-quality and cheap, until it's sold out.

Anyway, I worked eight hours today, and my hourly rate is $12.50. 8 * $12.50 = $100.

Now, you can look at this however you want, but here's my take on it: today, I was working for booze!

That makes me feel like a real winner. Also, "Silent Shout" by The Knife. ROCKS.

Apparently, gameplay isn't all that important.

I just finished King's Quest VI.

At this point, those of you who have never heard of it are saying "What's that?" Those of you who have only heard of it are saying "What a nerd." And those of you who were privileged enough to have enjoyed it in your youth, or those of you who are nerds and therefore are into playing old video games are saying "What a great game!"

The King's Quest series is one of those classics, you know... like Chrono Trigger, or Super Mario World, or Myst... while the series may not have been the Beatles of video games, it was maybe the Talking Heads. Quirky, fun, multifaceted, a little hard to get into but definitely rewarding.

Anyway, I've now played King's Quests V-VII, and let me tell you, the gameplay is terrible. King's Quests I-IV had a text-based interface, which apparently sucked. At least KQV-VII had a graphical point-and-click interface, primitive as it was. But you'd have to be a super smart dude to get through the game without a hint book. Also, you'd have to have a lot of save files. Because there were a ton of ways that you could just get screwed! You go through the Land of the Dead without getting the River Styx water or the skeleton key, you're toast! You enter the Labyrinth without the red scarf, brick, tinderbox, and hole-in-the-wall (which you couldn't possibly be expected to know that you need), and you're stuck there forever! And you'd never know! You'd just be clicking around forever, and eventually you'd get so frustrated you'd eat the floppy disk with some salsa and guacamole. Not to mention the many times when you're supposed to just guess until the right thing happens, or the long walking times between screens, or the answers to literally impossible puzzles that are printed only in the manual. (That's early copy protection, right there!)

But these games are so good anyway! The story is fun, the characters at least a little bit likable, the settings innovative, the graphics gorgeous (for a 256-color 640x480 screen), the music agreeable. I mean, what other game brings you through an Arabian village, a beast's magic garden, a labyrinth with a minotaur, a kingdom of winged creatures with an oracle, an "isle of wonder" (which is pretty funny, and you'd have to see it), a druid village, a castle, and the land of the dead? And they were doing this in 1992!

I'm not the only one who thinks this; see Gamespot's "Greatest Games of All Time." So what do we have to learn from this? I mean, besides the gnarled old gamer's standby about how graphics are overrated and they don't make them like they used to? I don't know. I do like the King's Quests, though.

(Don't get me wrong, I appreciate good gameplay too, and not dying all the time!)

Happy 7's day!

It's 7/7/07, and it's 8:17. Or, you might say... 7:77. Hooray! Go buy a lottery ticket or wish upon a star or step on a crack and break your mother's back or something.

This group made a list of the "New 7 Wonders of the World", released today, and I've been inordinately following this story. Yeah, it's dumb, and it will probably bring tourism to all of these places to catastrophic levels, but boy do I like top-N lists.

Thoughts? I dunno about Christ the Redeemer. A big Jesus statue? Ehh... I hear Petra is awesome, so I can get behind that. Taj Mahal might not deserve winning; it's pretty, but so are Angkor Wat and Neuschwanstein. I'd vote for the Sagrada Familia, but maybe that'll have to wait until it's finished. Things that should not have even been candidates: Eiffel Tower, Sydney Opera House, Statue of Liberty. (and if the Statue of Liberty (145ft) shouldn't win, then Christ the Redeemer (100ft) shouldn't either.) Other than that, though, I'd say it's not a bad list. Picking out 7 wonders of the world is a tough task, and maybe not even one that people should be trying to do, but this voting approach was a good effort.

Lots of other people (like USA Today) tried to make their own lists, and a lot of them seemed like "I know about more cool places than you" sort of wankery. I mean, if you're making a list of the 7 coolest things in the world, the Great Wall of China should probably be on it, right? And "Polar Ice Caps"?! I think we're talking about man-made things here. I was about to debate "The Internet", on grounds that shut up we're talking about architecture, but when you think about it, the Internet really IS one of the coolest things ever.

Canada made a "7 Wonders of Canada", upon hearing that nothing in Canada made it into the list. Good for them.

Also, I'm getting spammed a lot, and I didn't know why. So I googled my email address, and lo and behold, there it is, on the cmu cs site! D'oh!

The confusion sets in before the doctor can even close the door

Any of you guys in academia? I have a question. See, right now, I'm on my third day here at CMU working with some computational linguists (who, let it be said, all seem to be pretty cool folks! I feel like I'm in a good group). I've been reading a lot, maybe half a textbook plus a few articles here and there, and most of it goes over my head.

I'm going to abuse a pretty sorry metaphor here, if you don't mind. Okay. Learning is like eating trees. They start you off in first grade on little saplings, and by high school you're munching down a few birches per year. Then in college, you move on to the big pines and oaks, and it's a tough job, but you manage to cram a lot of trees into your stomach. You adapt, and you learn to digest the wood a little better. Hopefully you poop out a couple of good papers in the meantime.

Every so often, though, you climb a tower and realize that you're on the edge of a big vast forest, full of all sorts of maples, elms, and big ol' redwoods. You think "I can't possibly eat all this!" And then, maybe you realize, it's okay, I don't have to. People will advise you in this direction. You choose. Maybe you say you're going to become an expert on eating Brazil Nut Trees. Then you think "Great! I can easily eat all the Brazil Nut Trees in Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Kentucky."

But someone drops you in the Amazon river basin, and all of a sudden, you have to eat many more Brazil Nut Trees than you bargained for. Even worse, someone has already eaten all the redfoot trees, frimlock trees, grass-leafed ferryapple trees, and gromplings* and if you leave even a couple of Brazil Nut Trees unmunched, you'll look like a fool.

*Of course none of these exist. Someone ate them all.

Err, my question is: can you ever get to the point where you know what's going on in your field? When you graduate, do they give you a book that explains everything? Is academia always so confusing?

I'm back in Pittsburgh

and it's cool, and I'm excited, and the Pirates will bribe you a whole lot to go to their games. Check out tomorrow: not only do I get fireworks and a coin featuring some guy named something like "Lloyd Wanker", BUT ALSO...

Here's one that actually is good

Lio.
It reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes, which I respect; it's almost wordless, which makes me respect it even more.
Here are some articles about the writer, too.
And if you don't already, you might like Pearls Before Swine and Pooch Cafe

Three comics that I find funny

I mean three days' worth of comic strips, not three series. The series is called "Tom the Dancing Bug" and it mostly sucks, like most political comics.

What's wrong with political comics? (I'm not talking about one-shot cartoons that show up in the opinion pages here; I'm talking about daily comics like Non Sequitir or Prickly City) They're smarmy. They make fun of some poor schmuck who screwed up or said something dumb recently (Bush is an easy, and regular, target) and act like they said something hilarious. The whole thing is a "this moron; at least we're better than him" wink-wink at the reader. And if the reader won't go along, then it's a "you like this moron? At least I'm better than you."

Tom the Dancing Bug is a pretty normal political comic, most of the time. But sometimes he drops the political shtick and writes "super fun pak comix", or a bunch of unrelated cartoons:
one
two
three
That's all, and goshdarn GoComics only archives something like 30 old comics, so the links won't last too long!

Change of pets

I always thought I'd want to have a ferret. Turns out hedgehogs are cooler. I present as evidence "tubing"; this is apparently a fun thing that hedgehogs like to do and it is also the cutest thing ever.

A review of Europe, Letterman-style

I could go on and on about things in Europe. But as the New York Times Bestselling Advice Books list shows, people just want lists. Fine with me! Here are a few I came up with:

First, all the places I went, in chronological order, with approximate durations:
- St. Anton, Austria, 4 days
- Maastricht, the Netherlands
- Paris, 2 days
- Amsterdam, 2 days
- Brussels and Bruges, Belgium, 1 day each
- Cologne, 1 day (for Carnival)
- Verbier, Switzerland, 3 days
- Rotterdam, 2 days
- Berlin, 3 days
- Freiburg, Germany, 2 days (to see the Black Forest)
- Antwerp, Belgium, 1 day
- Cologne, the Rhine River, the Mosel River, Trier, Luxembourg, Amsterdam, Leiden, the Keukenhof gardens, Delft, 7 days (with my family)
- London, 4 days
- Amsterdam, 1 day (for Queensday)
- Budapest, 3 days
- Amsterdam, 1 day (class trip to see museums)
- Marrakesh and Essaouira, Morocco, 3 days
- the Hoge Veluwe National Park, the Netherlands, 1 day (another class trip)
- Gerona and Barcelona, Spain, 4 days
- Seville, Granada, Alcala de Henares, and Madrid, 7 days
- Bratislava, Slovakia, 2 days

So if you'd like to know anything about these places, let me know! Except Paris. I didn't really even see that at all; can't help you there.

Okay, now, even better: ordered lists. Let's do this in a top-N style. If I don't list something, it's not because I didn't see it. It just didn't make the list.

Top N trips I went on, out of the above trips
1. Morocco. It was really something different. And I got a lot of good stories out of it.
2. London. Hanging out with Erik was a lot of fun. Plus, I actually got to see the city, not just the tourist sights, I think.
3. Bratislava. The pretentious-indie-fuck in me just loves to find The Next Big Thing. Plus, Vic was the best guide ever.
4. St. Anton. First taste of Europe, traveling alone, and the Alps, all in one. Fun, lonely, expensive, and exhilarating.

Top N tourist attractions, where a "tourist attraction" is kinda just something to see. Markets, museums, and restaurants will have their own separate lists.
1. Sagrada Familia, Barcelona
2. Alhambra, Granada
3. Gellert baths, Budapest (not these baths in particular, although they were nice. I guess all the baths are nice though.)
4. Roman Amphitheater, Trier
5. Devin Castle, Slovakia
6. Real Alcazar, Seville
7. Grand Place, Brussels
8. Marksburg Castle, on the Rhine River, near Koblenz, Germany
9. Cologne Cathedral/Seville Cathedral (they both kinda get the nod because they are not the prettiest cathedrals ever, but they sure are big.)

Top N Museums
1. Tate Modern, London (aka just "the Tate." It's free!)
2. Museum Boijmans van Beuningen, Rotterdam (This museum convinced me that I do, actually, like art.)
3. Comic Book Museum, Belgium (if you've ever read any Belgian comics, or if you can speak French or Dutch, it's probably even better. If not, you might find it kinda alienating.)
4. Reina Sofia, Madrid (I was really tired going through this. But there's some good stuff: Dali and the surrealists, and Picasso's Guernica)
5. Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam (Even after three visits, it's kinda nice. It might help to have some background in Dutch art, so you know why it's cool. Or you can just go look at the dollhouses and the Night Watch, and say, wow that's big.)
6. Pergamon Museum, Berlin
7. Zwack Unicum Museum, Hungary (not much to look at, but there is a tasting included)

Top N Markets
1. Djemaa el Fna, Marrakesh (This market is not just stores; it's performances, singing, dancing, a local hangout, shit fucking good food, snake charmers who will take your money, mosques calling you to prayer, and the world's best orange juice)
2. Borough Market, London (coolest array of food I've seen. Only downside, and reason it's not #1 for a food lover like me: it's expensive)
3. Camden Market, London (everything but food. I wish I were trying to decorate a house in London, or that I had a huge suitcase.)
4. Freiburg Market (this little town of 200,000 puts on this awesome food/crafts/toys market every day of the week)
5. Boqueria, Barcelona (it's so colorful! if I lived here and could buy food from here, this would go up in the ranks)
6. Grand Market Hall, Budapest (cool building, but too tourist-oriented)
7. Maastricht Friday Market (I bought all my food from here, and got to know some of the people. Downside: about half the market just sells underwear and fabric.)
8. Haeckescher Market, Berlin
9. Market Hall, Bratislava
10. Queensday, Amsterdam (the city turns into a big flea market. Crummy stuff, but a lot of it!)
11. Coin, Stamp, and Bottle Cap Collector's Market, Barcelona (I just stumbled across this. Lucky, eh?)

Top N Beers
1. Chimay (blond or Triple; I didn't like the Double so much)
2. Duvel
3. Brugse Zot (after De Halve Maan brewery tour in Bruges. Really hit the proverbial spot.)
4. Palm (best beer you can buy by the case)
5. Zlaty Bazant (Slovak)
6. Korenwolf (wheat beer from Gulpen, near Maastricht. Also, it has a picture of a hamster on it.)
7. Cantillon Lambic (tastes and looks like Champagne)
8. Bellevue Kriek (beer with cherries?! Tastes like soda!)

Top N other drinks
1. Mint tea, Morocco
2. Gluhwein, Germany and Switzerland
3. Unicum, Hungary
4. Riesling wine, Germany
5. Chocolate, Spain
6. Cinnamon tea, Morocco
...
10439836784. Homemade Absinthe (and by that I mean, cheap vodka with wormwood soaking in it for a week. Supposedly makes the absinthe effect. Doesn't actually. Actually tastes awful.)

Top N Restaurants/Meals (keeping in mind that the restaurants I visited were mostly pretty cheap, and mostly the kind of place that one person could sit down at without anyone giving him dirty looks. Giving equal weight to the food and the restaurant.)
1. Vietnamese dish that I can't even remember except that it was really good, Monsieur Vuong, Berlin (awesome Vietnamese, and cheap!)
2. Steak with Morel mushrooms and kohlrabi, Zum Weißen Schwanen, Braubach, Germany (cozy little restaurant/hotel, and not cheap, butith the family!)
3. Vegetarian rijsttafel, Gadjah Mas, Maastricht (A rijsttafel is a great thing: 10 or 12 or 18 or so different dishes, in small portions, so you try a little of everything and you have a good meal.)
4. Lamb with some sort of peanut sauce, Waka Moon, Brussels (the atmosphere of this tiny joint is awesome, and the Congolese (I think) food was great too)
5. Bryndzové halušky, 1 Slovak Pub, Bratislava (A great authentic place, despite the name, and the meal cost about $3.)
6. Fish and chips, Rock and Sole Place, London (the best!)
7. Stuffed cabbage and fruit soup, Poszonyi Vendeglo, Budapest (little corner restaurant. This tasty meaty dish kept me full all day!)
8. Pintxos, bar whose name I cannot remember, Gerona (open-face sandwiches with fish or something else tasty and visually pleasing, with toothpicks in them)
9. Vegetarian stuff, Neal's Yard, London (more for the atmosphere than the too-salty food)
10. Flammkuche, restaurant whose name I forget, Freiburg (crispy Alsatian pizza, very German restaurant)
11. Goulash and dumplingy noodles (could be halusky, even, who knows?), Mensa, Budapest (the place looked like an old Communist-era cafeteria, except cool.)
12. Falafel, Maoz, Amsterdam (I would be remiss if I didn't mention my favorite European fast food. Well, tied with kebabs I guess. But the neverending salad bar at Maoz is really nice.)


Top N hostels
1. Rambutan Guesthouse, Granada. The way people talk about it on hostel website reviews, you'd think that everyone there participated in a massive cult worship service or something. Nope- It's just the friendliest, nicest hostel I've seen, with the coolest array of people and activities, that might make even a tightly-wound traveler like me kick back a bit and actually enjoy a few days! Imagine that!
2. The Bunker, Verbier. Or rather, I'm glad I stayed there once; I'm not sure if I would want to again. It deserves a mention, though, for being in Switzerland and being at least sort of affordable. It's really bare-bones though. Great for ski bums. I'm not one.
3. Backpack Guesthouse, Budapest. I guess. Too hippie/party oriented for me. But still friendly, and a lot of resources, and easy to meet people.

Top N ethnic foods (this one's unordered, because it's too big for me to pick)
Everywhere: muesli, kebabs, milk that lasts a long time
Austria: pate, leberwurst, blutwurst, currywurst
Benelux: Belgian waffles, herrings, kwark, stroopwafels, rijsttafel
Germany: wursts, spaetzle
Switzerland: horse
England: fish and chips, English breakfast
Hungary: goulash, langos
Morocco: couscous, tagine, snails, sheep's head, that honey cake
Spain: queso manchego, jamon Iberico, chorizo, salchichon, churros
Slovakia: palacinky, forinelli, horalcky, richman, bryndzove halusky

And, after 9 lists, more than half of which were about food and drink, it's bed time.

Global warming ?

Huh. Just finished State of Fear, which I picked up on a whim for $1 at Half Price Books. Wow! As usual, Michael Crichton has given me something to think about. As usual also, it was a quick and easy read through incredible adventures in distant lands, complete with a likable super-intelligent character with encyclopedic knowledge of everything, a few buffoons who disagree with said character, nefarious schemers releasing global terrors, and a sprinkling of techie gadgets and hot babes.

Disregarding for a moment the fact that State of Fear is a novel, Crichton lays out a pretty convincing argument that global warming is not actually happening, and that it's just the latest pseudo-scientific fear propagated by the media. Historically, the Cold War and nuclear winter was another such fear; the deterioration of the human gene pool was another. The Cold War just led to a big arms race and a lot of unnecessary bomb shelters and Spam; the gene pool thing led to eugenics.

"But, Dan, how can we disregard the fact that State of Fear is a novel? It's a work of fiction!" Right, but (in typical Crichton fashion) he's done some research. Disregard the scenes where, for example, a couple of untrained lawyers rescue themselves from an Antarctic crevasse with pretty much just a rope, and concentrate on the scenes where something is being debated. Whenever John Kenner (the smart character) starts preaching to one of the buffoons, it's always backed up with a lot of data and citations. Sure, anyone can throw in a bunch of footnotes. But I trust Crichton to make them pretty legitimate. And it made me think for a minute: what IS my basis for believing in global warming? Besides "of course global warming is happening" or "all the scientists know global warming is happening."

Even better, what's YOUR basis?

Now, this merits further research, for sure. A quick googling shows that Crichton's drawn a lot of flak over this book, which either means he's wrong, or he's right. (in the top 10, he's got one supporter, and it's the Heartland Institute, which is a conservative think-tank, isn't it?) Hopefully, later I'll actually do this research and decide for myself. (Right now, I'm still surrounded by a pile of THINGS, so I should clean those up.)

Whether he's right or not, Crichton at one point reiterates the fact that we live in so much fear! If it's not the environment, the media is stirring up fear about terrorists, or murderers, or diseases, or identity thieves, or whatever. Stop being so afraid, get out there and live your lives like we did thirty years ago! (minus the Cold War.)

Three in one day! Czechs and Catholics.

First, Godfather Peter, don't put too much pepper on my pork!

Second, can we all give the Catholic church a break? I feel like a lot of people have these weird misconceptions about the actual Catholic faith, for two reasons:
- many Catholics don't actually know what the Catholic faith is
- people confuse Catholics with fundamentalist Christians

The Catholic church, at least according to their rules, is very reasonable on most things! Granted, I totally disagree with them on a lot of things, and I could never be Catholic, but overall they're not so bad.

Let me start with a disclaimer: This is all based on four years of Catholic high school theology class. I could be wrong on some things. I don't have citations from the Catechism; I could go get them, but then, this blog is read by at most four people anyway, so I don't think I'll bother. To you four: if you want to dispute anything, say so, and I'll look it up.

Misconceptions about the Catholic Church:

1. They interpret the Bible literally.
Catholics are totally not about interpreting the Bible literally. They go out of their way to state that anyone who does so is incorrect. If you get into an argument with a Catholic who starts quoting Bible verses (besides, say, Matthew 22:36-40) at you to prove his points, stop arguing, because you are probably arguing with a fool.

2. The Old Testament is as good as the New.
The Catholic Church is all about Jesus, which means that, while there are valid things in the Old Testament, the New Testament overrides it. So if you see stuff in the Old Testament about, you know, how you can't get into heaven if you have no balls, or whatever, realize that the New Testament ("Love God and love thy neighbor") overrides it.

3. The Catholic Church doesn't want you to use a condom.
The Catholic Church is against contraception because they think it'll lead to promiscuity. HOWEVER, any true Catholic will tell you, if you're going to have sex before marriage, use contraception.

4. If you're married, you should have as many kids as you can. Sex is only for babies.
Not really... Sex within marriage that is primarily for pleasure is okay, as long as you're open to having a kid, if you do get pregnant. They advocate "natural family planning", which is to say, if you don't want a kid, only have sex during times of the month that you probably won't conceive. (note that I personally think that this is one of their more preposterous rules. But that's what they say!)

5. The Catholic Church hates gay people.
Again, not exactly... the Catholic policy is "Gay people are okay, gay sex isn't." Again, I think this is kind of bollocks, because it treats gayness as a problem, and it arbitrarily denies some people the pleasure of ever having sex.

6. Speaking of people denied sex, priests are all child molesters.
No no no. I don't have numbers, but I don't think, percentage wise, priests are child molesters any more than anyone else. Most priests are great people. Now, when a priest does abuse a child, it's particularly creepy, because they're the voice of God and all, and I don't mean to excuse the priests that did abuse kids. But the problem was with a few individuals, not the church or its teachings.

7. The Pope is infallible.
Well, the pope IS infallible, according to the church, if he speaks ex cathedra. Basically, the Pope can issue an infallible decree if he wants, but only if he says it's infallible, and only if it's about church matters. If the Pope says "chocolate is better than vanilla", we don't all have to switch. It's only been officially used a few times.

8. The church is the root of all evil.
This is popular among new young liberals, I guess. One of my friends in Maastricht was convinced this is true. Sure, they're responsible for the Crusades, Inquisition, etc. But they're also responsible for so many instances of helping people, teaching, healing, etc. I think, if you get out the big ol' scales, the church turns out good in the long run.

Okay, that's all the church-defending I'm doing today. They're really not that great. But they're better than a lot of people give them credit for.

EDIT: I thought of another one!

9. The "Unforgivable Sin."
You may have heard about The Blasphemy Challenge. Perhaps you've actually looked up the bible verse, Mark 3:29, that they're referring to. Wow, seems like a pretty open-and-shut case, right? Blaspheme against the holy spirit, you can't be forgiven!
But maybe, because you are a smart Christian, you looked up, I dunno, a couple verses around it. You don't have to look far; Mark 3:28 is probably enough: "I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them." At any rate, even without this verse right before it, the whole "unforgivable sin" thing wouldn't hold up, because again, you're not supposed to take the Bible literally.
So what does Jesus mean? What's actually unforgivable? The actual "blasphemy" is shown by your actions and your life, not by a few words you speak into YouTube at some point. As long as you live a good life, or even if you live a crummy life but are at least trying, God will forgive you. God forgives anything, if you want it. The only unforgivable sin is not wanting forgiveness.
Like him or not, the Christian God does not work in magic words, and these self-righteous smug goons claiming that he does kinda pisses me off.

Karl Rove and Max Rebo

In the spirit of "things that are funny", here's something that's funny in the "odd" sense.

Here's something that's funny in the "funny" sense. (You can skip ahead to scene 5, because the funniest bit is "Max Rebo's Greatest Hits.")

Suppose this is an omen that I should post concert reports

I just got back from lunch with my grandparents at Perkins Restaurant and Bakery. Our waitress was none other than the aunt of one Kevin Barnes (lead singer/creative force of Of Montreal).

Wow! If you tell me that the world is not The Truman Show, I would argue with you a little bit!

Anyway, I've been meaning to gush about these concerts I saw in Barcelona, as part of the Primavera Sound Music Fest so if you'll indulge me, let's begin.

In chronological order, the first one is Justice. I got in late, and I really just wanted to see Girl Talk, but Justice was on first. I didn't know them, but I really enjoyed their Ratatat-meets-Metallica-meets-some-pop-girl-group techno dancey shtick. And now, apparently they're one of many Next Big Things. Check them out!

Girl Talk himself was pretty nuts. He did mention that he was from Pittsburgh. He also mentioned his real name, which is always weird when a one-man band says what his actual name is; it's like "Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines" or something. "Hello, I'm Girl Talk. My name is Greg Gillis." Whatever. He did what I've seen him do before, which is apparently mix a lot of songs together on his computer. I can't tell if he's actually doing something or just clicking "play" on his premixed tracks. I mean, most of the work must happen before the show, right? He can't be real-time thinking "oh yeah, something by the Pixies would sound good now." Whatever he does, it gives him plenty of time to dance around the stage, undress bit-by-bit, and crowd surf. Apparently he's a mild-mannered engineer or something in his day-to-day life, and then he goes off and plays these insane shows. What a champ.

That was Thursday. Friday was somewhat less successful, although it wasn't Beirut's fault! These guys were pretty fun to see live, even if all their songs blended together as they do on his record. How can one 20 year old kid, plus a bunch of backing musicians, create such old-world eastern-europe sounds? I felt like I was back at my grandmother's Ukranian home, or chomping on pretzels in East Germany, or, you know, doing whatever it is you do in Warsaw, or somewhere else that I've never been.

Modest Mouse brought the night a turn for the worse. I knew they were popular, but whoa. I could not get a seat where I could see the band. They had a huge standing area, packed full, plus a huge hill, also full. I could hear the music, sort of; it was all from the new (kinda ehh) CD, plus some Good News For... tracks, and then "Doin' the Cockroach." I swear. THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE BANDS TO GET TOO POPULAR! It's not just pretentious indie-fuckery! (although there is some of that too...) Maybe someday Modest Mouse will play a show where they just run through The Moon and Antarctica, but until then, I won't go seem them. Especially when they're playing at, you know, Mellon Arena.

I stopped by Los Planetas, who are apparently big in Spain, but whose music was pretty goshdarn average.

Somewhere in here, I ate some food, which might have been a bad call. Even worse: said food was Churros and Chocolate, which is the heart attack combo of the month. Churros are fried dough sticks. Fine. Chocolate? I expected a little drizzle of chocolate sauce. Nope! It's a cup of melted chocolate bar. Hell with "how do they not get fat?"... I want to know "how do they not have stomachaches all the time?!"

Then I had to wait for Hot Chip and Kid Koala, so I decided to check out Bonde Do Role, described by someone else as "a Brazilian band, a little bit like CSS", and I thought, well that's good; CSS mostly sucks but has put out a good song, so maybe another band can take that catchiness but make it better. Nope! The only thing that makes Bonde Do Role similar to CSS is the kinda weird and not great looks of the chick who sings. Also, she acts real slutty on stage, and they all scream a lot. However, a look at their Allmusic page reveals the quote "The joke is to be as stupid and cheesy as you can be," so maybe I just made the mistake of taking them seriously. Maybe their record's worth a listen.

Due to late scheduling changes, Kid Koala and Hot Chip went on at the exact same time. Well, Hot Chip is the choice there I think, but I had to leave after like three songs anyway, because I felt like hell.

Saturday! I still felt a little like hell, but I was not going to miss these shows! Ted Leo and the Pharmacists were first, and by George, they're still champs. Notable moments include his mixing in lyrics from Daft Punk's "One More Time" in the end of "Little Dawn." Then he closed (or almost closed) his too-short-but-not-his-fault show with a new song called "La Costa Brava", which is about the Costa Brava, which is the coast that Barcelona's on. I like this song a lot! And did I mention that I got to meet the man himself afterwards? What a cool dude.

Next, to complete the best double billing ever, Architecture in Helsinki took their goofy selves to the stage. Wow, they're nerds! And there are only six of them, which surprised me. Cool things: 1. the horn they use is actually a trombone, not a trumpet; 2. their new songs sounded pretty good; 3. they look like total social outcasts, and they dance awkwardly as hell, but boy are they having fun on stage! Also, "Maybe You Can Owe Me" flowing into "Do the Whirlwind" was as transcendent as I thought it would be.

Feeling awful again, I sat down to watch The Good, the Bad, and the Queen. I couldn't hear them though.

I also stopped by Patti Smith, because I needed somewhere to sit. Patti who? I remember thinking "she's famous, right?" She sang "Because the Night" and then I remembered that. "Wait, isn't she some kind of hippie?" Then after the song she called out "No war! We don't need no fucking war!" Oh yeah, right.

Finally, Sonic Youth took the stage, and I stayed around to see this show, because I owe it to my uncle, who has great musical taste and really wanted me to like Sonic Youth, and also to my status as an indie fuck, because they were playing through their album "Daydream Nation", which makes pretentious writers go all gaga. It was really pretty good! I realized that they're like the ancestors of Broken Social Scene, not most of the immediately-accessible bands that I like, and I should listen to them as such, and then it was pretty good. Their vocals fade in and out of the music. Also, they are weirdly aged. The one guitarist looks like he's in his 20's, the girl who plays bass looks like she's in her 30's, the drummer in his 40's, and the other guitarist maybe 50's? Clearly, those can't be true; they've all been around since the 80's, so that makes them, what, all 40's by now? They are a distinctive bunch.

By Sunday, I was too sick even to see Of Montreal. So it goes.

You don't know how lucky you are

I'm back in the US of A. Made it safe and sound. Then began a whirlwind of family visiting, starting with a welcome-home/birthday party surprise for me, and continuing by hanging out with the family all weekend. (NOTA BENE it's father's day tomorrow so do something nice for dad I guess; Dillard's would suggest that you buy him some nice pants so he can play golf)

First impressions of back home:
- Glad to be back, yeah yeah, family and friends, and free water in a restaurant and you know.
- Everything is so wasteful! Everything! I can't drive without getting mad at the amount of concrete all over the place; I can't clean my room because there's so much paper that I'm throwing out that I should be recycling; I can't buy things in stores because they keep giving me so many plastic bags. Maybe this is the "reverse culture shock." Maybe it's unrelated to Europe. Maybe it's me getting on my pretentious environmental high horse, which, let's be honest, I have no right to even own the saddle of.
- I am going to set a bunch of goals for the next two weeks, and they will pass without me accomplishing a single one. Aaargh!
- I still really like cereal. Look out, Frosted Mini Wheats!

Bratislava is nice!

Next person who references "Eurotrip" or "Hostel" when I mention Bratislava gets punched. It's a great place.

Also I'm coming home Friday, although kinda tomorrow because I'm just running the stay-up-all-night for an early flight, and I'm excited!

It's nice to know that some things remain constant

Like, even if I'm in some foreign country for a couple weeks, and even if I get kinda sick and don't want to eat anything at all period, I can still polish off any box of cereal in three days.

I'm mostly better now, though. Tomorrow I'm off to Madrid, and then Bratislava on Tuesday, and then home on Friday. It will be very nice!

Not that sickness and homesickness are the one headline from my trip to Spain, though. Here are some headlines that are more appropriate:

The Sagrada Familia: it's The Best.

I'm Staying in a $14 Hostel with a View that People Would Pay $1400 For

Churros with Chocolate? Are You Kidding?!

I Saw All These Great Bands Like For Serious.

See you folks in a week!