Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Vindication!

Well, sort of.

Yeah, so 7up got slammed a little bit for their "100% natural" nonsense. But now Coke and Pepsi are making diet sodas with a few vitamins, and marketing them as "healthy."

Arrgggh! That's not how it works! Here's why:
1. Just because something has zero calories, that doesn't make it healthy. I mean, a rock has zero calories, because you can't digest it. (right?) Windex has zero calories. Battery acid has zero calories.
2. If a drink has a few vitamins, that doesn't make it healthy. If it's like 7up plus and Propel, the current "healthy soda" leaders, it'll have like 10% RDA of a couple different B vitamins. Hoo-ee.
3. Even if the drink had a lot of vitamins, say, 100% RDA of 20 different vitamins and minerals, that doesn't make it healthy either. I could crush a Flintstones multivitamin and sprinkle it on ice cream, but that doesn't make it healthy.
4. Caffeine is still not healthy.
5. Whatever acids and chemicals they're putting in there are still not healthy.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you implying that Flintstones chewable vitamins aren't healthy and wonderful? Shame, shame on you.

yincrash said...

ONLY BECAUSE OF THE CORN SYRUP (and not the potassium preservative).

Also, a lot of animals naturally eat some rocks and pebbles because it aids with digestion (the way we eat lots of indigestable fiber).

MOST OF THE VITAMINS AND ALL THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF PROTEIN ARE ACIDS.

does it matter if the source is natural or synthetic? well. sometimes. having a natural delivery (plant matter) method is usually a lot easier for our body to absorb.

Also. I don't condone diet beverages as a whole. It's dumb. I drink Coke Classic.

yincrash said...

the point of the previous comment was that you're a hippie, dan tasse. a dirty skiing hippie.

Dan said...

OKAY FINE.
- I don't care about the potassium citrate; I feel like, if it's synthesized in a lab, it's not "natural." If they're actually going around and squeezing grapefruits and maybe boiling the juice and putting the leftover into diet coke, for example, okay, that's natural. The corn syrup was my main point in the first place.

- Goats eat tin cans. Just because animals eat it doesn't mean we should. Furthermore, my point was "just because it has zero calories doesn't mean it's healthy", not "we shouldn't eat rocks."

- THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ACIDS. I never said there was. There might be something wrong with, say, phosporic acid.

- Yeah, Flintstones vitamins are good for you. But like Mike said, it's not the same. Getting your vitamins in a natural way is a lot easier for the body to absorb. Otherwise we could actually just eat a Flintstones vitamin and a big ol' mash of bread, canola oil, and whey protein powder, and we'd be fine.

- Mike Yin is a heartless money-grubbing Coca-cola spy who wants worldwide domination at the expense of our children's health. Also, we should settle this with a bare-knuckled brawl when I get back.

-Da"will argue in my blog's comments all day"n

brian said...

yincrash said...
"the point of the previous comment was that you're a hippie, dan tasse. a dirty skiing hippie."

QFT

Dan Tassseeses is clearly a hippie.