News is unfair, pop songs are awkward, and P probably doesn't equal NP.

1. News is unfair.  Nobody knows the whole story.  I recently heard about a right-wing talk show host investigating Oregon state representative candidate Cheryl Myers for some BS crime that there's no way she committed, just so they can say "she was investigated for this heinous crime..."  Bah!  Similarly, results of the Google- and Verizon-backed policy proposal have yet to be seen, and it does sound like a step backwards, but it's not a behind-closed-doors secret plan to steal the internet, as the NY Times reported.  How can they just throw stuff on the news that's not true?  They didn't even retract it!  Blah blah media is broken etc blah grump complain!  Let's move on to something lighter:

2. Is it just me, or have pop songs gotten really awkward?  I don't just mean Soulja Boy's newest hit "Birdwalk" or the fact that the #1 pop star in the world is 11 years old.  The finest example is, of course, Kesha's "Tik Tok", a song that just makes no goddamn sense.  The subject matter is "I'm gonna party a lot"; fine.  But the music!  It's like they threw together a bunch of beats and decided "we'll end this chorus whenever we feel like and then throw some 'oh oh oh's on the end."  Her voice is generic pop plus an occasional ... drawl?  (whatever you call that bit at the beginning.)  The chords sound like a keyboardist found tabs for "Hella good" and said "hey why don't you talk-sing over this."

Anyway, example number two: I present "OMG" by Usher.  Again, the lyrics are mostly simple, but understandable, so I'll gloss over those for now.  And it keeps lulling you into periods where the beats almost make sense... until he stutters out "oh my gosh" and then there's a break for football-stadium cheers.  What?!

It's like there's a trend to just throw out everything we know about making tunes that kinda work.  And I don't mean to say this judgmentally- it could be kind of cool, even- I'm just befuddled!  It's like pop stars ran out of inspiration so they turned to outsider music.  But two does not a trend make, but I can't think of another song that's on the awkward level with those two yet, so I'll just let this be for now.

3. On the P != NP proof: this is fun news!  I don't know a damn thing about whether it's right or not, nor does anyone else yet.  It's 100 pages of intense math.  I don't really even care to look at it.  But consider that this is the computer-science version of curing cancer or landing on the moon.  It's a super friggin' big deal.  And this guy is like "hey look, I solved it."  And now everyone else is having a fit trying to prove or disprove him!  Another bit of admiring Mathematicians and Theoretical Dudes, I guess.

"Managing Things"

I've noticed an unusual fellow creeping into my speech recently: the phrase "managing things."  I usually accompany the utterance of this phrase with a sort of confused/annoyed face and a waving of hands.  Here's an example:

"What does (name)'s job entail?"
"Oh, I don't know.  Marketing?  Talking to clients?  ... managing things?"

I use this generally when I talk about vague things I don't know about and don't care about.

What does it mean?  I don't know.  There's a large overlap with the way I think about "business."  It's generally stuff that anyone can pick up relatively quickly*, where success or failure depends on how conscientious and organized you are.  I did this for a year as an executive board member of Scotch'n'Soda Theatre at CMU, and in numerous smaller capacities since.  I've never thought of myself as someone who's good at a particular thing, and even picking a preference is risky (as you lose the chance to do all the things you didn't pick), so I did some "managing things."

*I tend to think anyone can do anything.  I guess what I'm saying here is that there's nothing conceptually difficult about business, and there's nothing mind-blowingly Hard about it.  It's not advanced mathematics or pro basketball or juggling 7 balls.

Anyway, a couple thoughts about this phrase:

- it's a way for me to sort of lump together a lot of things I don't understand.  Like "supply chain management", "operations research", "office management", "purchasing direction", etc.  I'm sure a lot of people have a similar phrase when they talk about "computer things."

- I don't want to do any more of it.  I don't actually find it fun.  It usually doesn't involve much creativity, and therefore I will probably not find any joy in it.

- that said, I value it.  I respect people who are good at Managing Things, because it is a difficult thing that I am not great at.  And I am trying to value it more, because the alternative is the nerd's arrogance, the "well that powerful businessman probably got a 2.2 in high school and went to No Name University and couldn't find an integral if his life depended on it, but look at me, I'm clever!"  People hate on "managers", but as with everything, the problem isn't managers, it's bad managers.

So here's to you, Businessmen who Manage Things.  Is your salary a little overblown?  Yeah, maybe.  But so's mine.  If you do it well, keep on Managing.

The blog post I wish I'd written about the valedictory speech I wish I'd given

is here.

I mean, not really.  The speech is a little (a lot) excessive, and I didn't hate school hardcore.  I didn't hate it at all.  I do think it needs a big reform though.  The whole structure, with points and exams and stuff.  And the tough part is, by the time people like me get around to thinking that things could be different, we're out of school and don't want anything else to do with it.

Also, does anyone share my enjoyment of the whole comics-mashing-up-comics thing that started with Garfield Minus Garfield?  It's gotten super geeked out at Square Root of Minus Garfield, but today's comic made me laugh.  (for the record, Lasagna Cat may be the best Garfield riff.)

Wow, this dream thing is getting more fun already...

I just re-read my dream journal from last night.  Sentence number one:
"I could do that shake-your-hand snappy thing!"
You know that thing?  Where you let your index finger go limp and you shake your hand around in the air and if you're good then it goes "snap" when it hits against your other fingers?  My dad and my friend Pete can do it, independently, so I think it's a pretty well known trick.

I could never do that... before last night.  Now I just tried it again.  And I can kinda do it.  Whoa!

Is cooking hard?

I was talking yesterday with a friend who doesn't cook much, but he wants to start.  I wanted to offer an encouraging word about how "cooking isn't that hard", but then I remembered how much that phrase kinda irritates me.  You hear master chefs saying "oh yeah, making a souffle isn't that hard, you just do these four steps with these five ingredients."  What they're really saying is, "now that I know what I know, and have practiced all the techniques involved, it isn't hard for me."

It's like someone telling you chess is easy.  "It's easy to win if your opponent makes this move.  Just castle queenside, play the giocco piano, and counter his King's Gambit with the Nimzo-Indian defense."

Cooking well is hard!  The good news: you don't have to cook well.

It's not a contest.  You're not on Iron Chef.  You don't have to match a recipe.  You just have to make something that's good enough to eat.  And really, most things are pretty good.

Here's how to cook, and I'll call this Dan's Three-Step Plan to Cooking Well Enough.

1. Ingredients.  Go to a farmers' market.  (or the produce section of a grocery store, if you're not near a farmers' market or it's out of season.)  Buy some stuff.  Some stuff that you understand, some stuff that you don't.  If it's fruit, bread, cheese, yogurt, or something else immediately edible, eat it.  If it's a vegetable, and it's kind of soft or small (for example, peppers, greens, onions, zucchini, tomatoes, peas), cut it up and saute it.  (that means put some oil or butter in a pan, turn it on like medium or medium high, add the food, and take it out when it looks hot and a little softer than it was.)  If it's a vegetable that's kind of hard, try boiling it for a few minutes, until it's soft.  Tasting things while they're cooking is key.  When in doubt, ask the farmer how to cook it, or look it up on the internet.

Freely use butter, salt, pepper, and sugar.  (whatever you're cooking is still healthier than packaged junk.)  You're learning what these foods are, how they taste, and how to deal with them.  Be adventurous!  Enjoy the essence of each food; try to figure out how you'd describe how kohlrabi or beets taste.  Try to understand the difference between cooking kale and spinach.  And feel free to throw something out if it's really rubbish.  You're learning!  Each day you cook, you are a better cook than you were the previous day.

2. Friends.  Invite them over.  Cook with them.  Especially if you have friends who know how to cook: they'll love to teach you stuff.  (but if they're fancy-pants types, make sure you keep things simple; there's no point in learning their 25-step lasagna recipe, as you're never going to make that again yourself.)  You'll probably come up with something pretty good.  And worst case, you end up with something that's kind of soggy or whatever, and you throw it out and go out for dinner.

3. Nationalities.  Once you understand some ingredients, and some basic techniques, and you want to learn how to impress guests, then (and only then) can you pick up some recipes.  But rather than just picking cookbooks off the shelf (as most are terrible, and most that aren't terrible are encyclopedic), pick a country.  Even a sub-country, like Northern Italian or something.  I'm on a Thai kick right now, which I can tell you is really a pretty easy one.  Indian isn't bad either, Japanese is tougher and less rewarding, Indonesian is harder to find ingredients for.  But ultimately, it doesn't matter which you pick; pick something you like!

And then try recipes.  Keep learning ingredients.  Don't worry if something doesn't turn out.  Worst case, you find you can't make anything in your book, and you can go to step one: saute some stuff.  Try the recipes that you've had in restaurants.  Keep repeating recipes until you know exactly how the pad thai noodles feel in the pan, or how to make the spring rolls stick together, or how much coconut milk you should add.  These will eventually become second nature if you keep cooking.

I wish dreams would become the new zombies

Or cupcakes or something, the new thing that people talk about I guess.  I could certainly get on board with a dream craze.  Y'know, Inception is popular and stuff, right?

I've started writing down my dreams again, spurred on both by the movie and by a dream I had right after the movie, you could call it a half-lucid dream.  It didn't feel like other lucid dreams I've had, but I knew I was dreaming.  (dream story, probably only interesting to me, skippable to you:) We were at a party, the room was dark, I knew about half the people there.  Then I said, "Wait a minute, sorry, you'll have to excuse me, I'm dreaming.  Maybe this is in the future for me, but I'm not here yet."  But I realized, what a cool situation I'm in; I'm somewhere that I'm not supposed to be yet!  I'm in my own future!  Or at least a dream.  At any rate, it's cool.  So I went grabbing for details.  I turned to the girl to my right and said "What's your name?" She answered "Patrissa Yorag."  (I love my subconscious.)  "Spell it."  "Y-o-l-e-g."  (of course.)  "And where are we?" "Eugene, Oregon."  "Okay, great, thanks.  This is going to dissolve pretty fast."  And then it did, and I woke up.

But I remembered that!  What fun.  Hopefully writing down my dreams will give me more bizarre awesome things like this.

(incidentally, I loved Inception.  But then, they had me at "the Memento guy made a movie about dreams."  Also, Patrissa Yoleg doesn't exist, at least not on the internet.  It only occurred to me now, days later, that she might still exist in real life.  Not likely though.)

I'm going to create a false dichotomy

Point: I'm not focused enough!

Counterpoint: I'm too focused!

Okay, so actually I'll just give a quick "right on, brother!" to Paul Graham, and then actually discuss the Zen Habits post.  Does anyone actually use goals a lot?  It's the Agile (/extreme/scrum/whatever) software dream: everything you do is like a 1-day goal, arranged from most to least important, and you just check stuff off the list in perfect order.  I can pretend to work like that.  But who actually works like that?  I feel like, more often, I have a vague idea of what I'm trying to do, and I'm sorta feeling my way through the woods as I go.  If I knew what I had to do in one-day chunks, I'd have done it!  (It's similar to my beef with test-driven development: if I understood my code well enough to have structured it into tidy little classes that are easy to test, the code would already be written and tested.  Chicken and egg.)

It feels rather validating when someone I read, even just some knucklehead with a blog (not that I'm implying Zen Habits is written by some knucklehead), goes ahead and says something that's been in the back of my mind for a while.

Trying things out: how long is long enough?

If you do something once, it's hard to say whether you actually like it or not. (It will probably be different from what you already do, so it'll either be immediately fun, or weird and different and therefore not fun. Either way, it's a bad indicator of whether you'll enjoy it if you keep doing it. Playing bocce ball once is fun, but I don't think I'd want to join a bocce league. Learning languages for 1/2 hour once is not fun, but sticking with it has been pretty fun.)

If you do it every day for a year, you definitely know whether you like it or not.

Where's the border? I feel like it's something along the lines of "once a week for 2 months", although maybe that's just because a lot of things tend to happen along that timeline.

I'm starting three new blogs.

Changes are afoot! It's a good day for blogs.

First, research. I'm just starting the journey back into academia right now. (y'know, probably.) It'll be a long process. But I'd like to make a blog where I can talk about new ideas and ways to, in the words of The Streets, push things forward.

Here's my research blog: Tales 'n' Ideas (RSS)

Second, programming. The same way an architect might care about drawing techniques or something (and I promise I will abuse the heck out of this analogy), I care about what I do, and the tools I use to do it. This may be the most helpful; it'll be where I post little tips I learn after hours of pain, to hopefully save fellow programmers the same.

Here's my programming blog: I Lessen Data (RSS)

Third, travel. Travel! Have I mentioned I like to do this? And will be doing so a lot?

The travel blog: I, Ten Seas Lad (RSS)

Fourth, this blog will continue. And who knows, maybe I'll merge everything back into The Snail Shell at some point in the future.

Footnotes:

This came about because this blog is semi-private, meaning I don't particularly care about the whole internet reading it. I don't mind if they do, but they probably won't find it very interesting. And sometimes I'd like a more public channel to talk about a couple things.

If you don't use Google Reader or another RSS reader, I highly recommend it. Then you can just follow any of my four blogs that you'd like, forget about them, and only get reminded when I post. How it works: you get a Google account, go to Reader, then you subscribe to blogs by copying their RSS link into the "add a subscription" bit of Google Reader. After that, it'll be pretty intuitive: you can just check Google Reader and you'll get a feed of data from all your RSS sources. (you can also subscribe to twitters or some facebook stuff, if you're into that.) Ask me if you have any questions.

Other blog ideas I tried and rejected:

My haiku blog: A Jade Firefly Tenses

My experimental cooking blog: Salted Anise

My Google/heavy metal blog: Jeff Dean/Slayer Site

An entire Star Trek episode: Data flees Jersey. Fin!

Bonus points: what's my middle name?

Blog crumbs

In between delicious morsels of bloggery, I have cooked up the following things to talk about, but none has made it to a full-time post:

- I got a lungi. It's totally the best clothes.

- I took the GREs. Surprisingly painless. Mostly because I didn't care, as long as I did okay enough. Also because the one part I was kinda worried about was the essay, but it turned out the topic let me spout off about how artificial intelligence is so great and attempts to say "but human brains are better" are nonsense. This essay was rivers of gold flowing from my fingertips. (or at least 5.0/6.0 gold, it turns out. well... good enough.)

- Here's Atul Gawande's graduation speech. Summary: medicine has become so complicated that you need to be superhuman to understand it all and always make the right call. So nobody can. I think he's calling for a huge shift in how we think of medicine, from individuals to systems. The most interesting thing, I think, is the point about humility, or equivalently (maybe?) forgiveness.

It should come as no surprise that I instantly draw the parallel to software. Following Gawande's call for humility, I've stopped saying "why doesn't this product have this feature?!" or "how could they have let this bug get through?!", because it's hard. It's so hard and so complicated.

It'll undoubtedly be harder to apply that logic when I get misdiagnosed someday and, as a result, die of the wrong disease. But the ability to take a medical error with equanimity would be a good skill to have.

- Okay, humility aside, who lets M Night keep making blockbuster movies?! And why do we all know his name? After he made exactly one great movie, a couple okay-to-good ones, and an increasingly embarrassing series of awful flops?

- Why do I get so bored watching a soccer match? Okay, because it's low scoring. But why is that boring? I guess it's because it feels like none of it matters, except a few seconds when a guy gets a fast break. It's not like chess, where it might seem like nothing matters for a long time but then all of a sudden you realize he's been building up to a checkmate! It's just a long series of things that don't matter. I do like how it's only 90 minutes, no stops, no commercials.

- Interesting thoughts today, thanks to Catie: let's jump into Christian-ish theology, or at least theist theology. Okay: why do bad things happen? The Catholic answer, as I understood it, was always "God's playing SimCity" (my wording), meaning, why would God create humans without the ability to sin? It'd be like making a world of robots. And people sin, so sometimes they cause each other pain.

But "God's playing SimCity" means God is a jerk, because he's watching his people suffer and not stopping it, just for... what? for his own fun? Also, what about earthquakes? Nobody caused those. So the next answer is: "there's a reason for everything, it's all in God's plan, it'll turn out better in the end." I don't buy that. As I've previously hinted at, I don't think the world is fair, and it's damaging to assume that there is.

I think I'll stop there, because I'm not really invested in this argument, as I don't believe in a personal God anyway. But the "bad things happen -> there's no God" argument seems a lot less silly to me now.

Apple apple apple apple apple google google apple microsoft apple apple

Can we please stop talking about Apple? Just for a week, what if the sci/tech news stopped reporting about the latest iphone thing? I have read so much about the whole "if you touch the phone corner with your finger it gets slightly less reception" issue. I would like no more of it. I don't care if it's a big flaw or it was actually a software flaw or whatever, or if they respond by handing out free cases, or if apple is a great company or a bad company or whatever!

This might sound like partisan sniping so I'll trade: no Apple news, no Google news. (and please please no Facebook news.) With all that out of the way, maybe newsmen would have to go look for actual innovation that's going on in the world beyond Mountain View and Cupertino. (I promise, it's really happening!)

Footnote: ironically, the same geeks who eat this stuff up all day probably mock people who read People. The iPhone is our Tiger Woods.

Another thing about donations

This time I ask you for advice. Have you ever donated to something in a foreign country? I'm looking to donate to something, and it's important that it's overseas, because Google will match extra money if it is.

Some things I know about already and are not relevant for this request:

Kiva and other microlending things- that's cool. I'll probably do that too. But I'm looking for straight up donation opportunities right now.

Some things I know about and am looking for recommendations about:

Room to Read (I was reading this guy's book)

Central Asia Institute (I've read this guy's book too)

Charity: water (just came across this today)

Some things I've already donated to:

American Assistance for Cambodia

The reason I'm excited about this: it seems so simple. Giving here in the States seems very hard. All our issues are hella complicated: health care, violence in schools, drugs, immigration, etc. If you want to solve, say, racism, you have to untangle a lot of things, and give to something that really solves the root of an issue. Or, say, gay marriage: you have to hire lobbyists and register voters and stuff, and it takes a lot lot lot of time and money. It feels like going from an 80% solved/efficient/modern society to a 100% one.

But in (Nepal/Vietnam/Pakistan/etc): You donate $20k, they build a school. And everyone needs schools. Maybe their teachers don't have the exact optimal teaching strategy or whatever, but they used to have zero teachers, now they have one teacher. Or you donate $5k (or whatever), they build a well. It's the 0% to 80% solution.

So why donate here at all? Yes, there are problems here. And your school in Nepal might not solve the Nepalese students' problems. But if you donate to a leadership development program for disadvantaged youths in Seattle, you might not solve the Seattle students' problems either! And I'd wager that the Nepalese school has a higher chance of making more of a difference in the lives of those it affects.

Counterpoint: donating locally helps you as well as the donation recipients; it gets you involved in your community.

Counter-counterpoint: donating globally helps you too. Plus, you can give your time locally, but you can't really give your time globally. At least not effectively. I can teach people math here. In a poor Cambodian village where everyone speaks Cambodian and there's no clean water, I could maybe haul bricks to help build a well, but I'm not going to be very good at that, and I'll probably be more of a burden to the people I'm "helping."

So maybe there's my strategy: if I'm going to volunteer time, I'll do it locally, where I'm in my depth and can contribute meaningfully; if I'm going to donate money, I'll do it globally, where it goes farther.

Y'know. Unless I'm missing something. Feel free to call that out.

The best acronym you've come across since, check it out, ever:

The rights of not-straight-people have come a long way in my lifetime. But so has the name of the group! This is a post about the latter.

When I was a youngman, growing up in moderately conservative Ohio, all I knew was that there were gay people. Soon after, I learned that female gay people were called "lesbians". Awareness of bisexuals came later, and then y'know we sometimes heard of people getting sex changes. (my mom knew a transgendered girl-to-guy, my dad told jokes about a sex change being called a "Susan B. Anthony." You have to admit, that's kind of funny.) I became familiar with the term "GLBT" or "LGBT" even though it's a big mouthful of letters. Q came later, I heard it being either "questioning" or "queer", but either way, it just made the acronym worse.

Reading over a grant application for this project I'm working on, I came across the term LGBTQQIA for the first time. ("... queer, questioning, intersex, and asexual.") That is a bad acronym. And I've learned from one Prof. Smith at CMU to make acronyms first, ask questions later. So I did some futzing: let's change "asexual" to "unsexual." "asexual" sounds like a word you use to describe a single-celled organism; let's at least give unsexual people their own word. And we don't need two Q's; let's change the second one from "questioning" to "inquiring." So now we have LGBTQIIU, or (drum roll) the new acronym to encompass all people who are not conventionally heteronormatively white-bread straight:

BIG QUILT.

Bisexual, inquiring, gay, queer, unsexual, intersex, lesbian, transgendered. Ehh? Ehh? Yeah, that's not bad! Furthermore, it totally symbolically fits: everyone's a slightly different patch in the BIG QUILT of human sexuality. And what does a BIG QUILT do? It protects and warms the people involved. Look, it's so perfect it'll make your head spin.

So get out there, celebrate pride, overturn Prop 8, smooch a person of your same gender (or not), drop your crummy acronyms, and join the BIG QUILT!

Daniel challenged me to name the best song of each decade

and it turns out it's not actually hard, going back to the 60's even, even though to be fair I don't actually know a damned thing about music before 2004:

the 1960's: A Day in the Life, the Beatles

the 1970's: Cars, Gary Numan

the 1980's: Once in a Lifetime, the Talking Heads

the 1990's: Birdhouse In Your Soul, They Might Be Giants

the 2000's: Hey Ya, Outkast

Discuss.

Oh geez, Lebron frigging James

This ... urgh, I mean, I guess... I have to write about this! It's delightfully, terribly, depressingly, humorously, really bottomed-out middle class despairingly, no actually quite miserably, like Hamlet-gravediggerly bizarre.

I meant to post this before tonight so it wouldn't sound like sour grapes. In case you've been under a rock, or not following basketball, which is to say everyone in Seattle, here's the deal: Cleveland had this basketball player named Lebron James, who grew up in nearby Akron. He was really 95% of their talent, and they had a chance to win a championship for a few years, but they kept blowing it.

This is the same Cleveland that hasn't won any major league sports championship in over 50 years. The same Cleveland whose economy has been terrible since the 70's, except for a brief stint of success in the 90's. Whoops, that's their baseball team. I mean their economy has been terrible since the 70's, except for a few years when it got snatched away and sent to Baltimore. Whoops, that's their football team. Look, their economy has been terrible since the 70's. Population's down 50% since its peak. City planning has been abominable. The city itself is a burnt-out shell, nothing happening past 5pm, and there's a large part of it you kinda shouldn't go to. All the rich people moved to the suburbs... in the 70's.

So Lebron becomes a free agent. And of course everyone wants him. Cleveland wants him most of all. Different teams put together their offers of tens of millions of dollars, superstar supporting casts, and, y'know, groveling and stuff. (Chicago gets a little respect from me for this stunt, but still... it's an ad campaign to woo a basketball player.) Fine, it's sports, whatever.

So what does he do? Strings everyone along for weeks, and then holds an hourlong TV event in which he declares he's going to Miami.

"What kind of man arranges and stars in a nationally televised infomercial during which he kicks his hometown to the curb?"

"No sports star has ever been this cruel, and no city had ever absorbed this calculated a knife to the throat."

Ugh ugh ha ha ugh.

How does this happen? It's a perfect mess of god-damn-awful. I can't really blame Lebron for leaving; after all, I did the same as a promising talented 20-something. But did it have to be another great misfortune heaped upon Cleveland sports, with media fanfare? This goes beyond kicking you while you're down. This is three guys kicking you while you're down, continuously, for 50 years, until the three guys all leave and you think "oh hey maybe things are going to be better", until they bring in a 6'8" guy with steel toed boots. And a brass band.

Does it matter? It's just sports. But as mentioned before, Cleveland doesn't have a lot going for it. This hits like a tennis-ball-sized hailstorm, except each hailstone is actually a snow globe containing a Clevelander's dream that shatters to bits as it dents that Clevelander's Toyota.

I don't know where to go with this. I was going to continue the loony analogies until I got tired, but I also don't want this to come across as Cleveland-bashing. Cleveland is full of a lot of great people. They deserve better. I wanted also to say yeah, it is just sports, and who really cares. I wanted to talk about how ugly it is when one person gets so much power that entire sports franchises are reduced to straight-up groveling. I wanted to say I hope maybe this galvanizes Cleveland, so maybe they won't seek relief in sports alone anymore, but that's insulting to everyone who currently IS working to make Cleveland a better place.

I guess mostly, I wanted to comment on how just remarkably terribly superbly vaingloriously comically hideous this whole spectacle has been, but I can't say it better than:

"I'm keeping my 2 yr old up to watch the LeBron James Special. I want her to see the exact moment our society hit rock bottom."

I stub my toe a lot on my vibram five fingers

but only the left one.

Unrelatedly, no matter when or where you are, you're better off with the attitude "_____ are people too", where ___ is any (any!) group that you don't like. (whether they're oppressing you or you're oppressing them, or nobody's oppressing anyone and you're just different.)

Even bike thieves. I think, if I were in charge of the universe, I would no longer create a second Worst Hell for bike thieves.

Someone should invent BikeLoJack or some other theft preventer that doesn't make the thief want to steal the next guy's bike instead (as locks do). Bike thievery should be punished as swiftly as any other kind of thievery, and as such we should get rid of this conception that it's somehow more okay than, say, shoplifting or burglary.

Which just leaves bike part thieves... who should be sentenced to sit down with a counselor and try to figure out why they hell they're stealing front wheels or grips off handlebars.

Incidentally, the world isn't fair, and it's destructive to cling to the belief that it is. Dealing with situations where bad stuff just happens (and not wasting time asking "why why oh why") seems like a useful skill.

I just have a lot of ideas

They don't really organize well. Or, they do, but it's into three camps: programming, travel, and research. I have to plan for all of these. And keep myself sane (read: live a balanced life where I follow some diverse interests) in the meantime.

Programming: I'm switching projects at work. I think it'll be good, something more like what I'm into. Servers running web apps (like the Chrome Web Store) are closer to what I like to work on than client software (like Chrome). Anyway, it's in Java, which will let me put my designing-stuff-optimally hat on, because I'm not convinced stuff can be as elegant in C++ as it can in Java. My current hypothesis is that, if you follow testability gurus and dependency injection guidelines (like this), you can unit test out a boatload of bugs. And your code will be pretty nicely modular. Maybe you can even test-driven develop someday! This remains a pipe dream for me, but it sounds like the promised land of coding, instead of the "hack a thing together, put in a few kludges to compensate for former kludges, and hope nothing breaks" style in which I usually program. Finally, speaking of programming.

Travel: I've got this big trip on my mind, and I still don't know where to start! The plan is southeast asia to eastern europe, but that's about all I know. Here are some options:

1. 9 cities, 1 month each, write an android app in each one.

2. 4 cities, 2 months each, same deal.

3. neither of the above; spend some time in India volunteering fixing computers or something, some time somewhere at a monastery retreat-style, some time touristing, some time traveling long distances overland (this will take a while).

4. pick some cities and spend some time, like option 1 or 2, but doing research instead of android apps.

Whoof! Any input is of course welcome. Oh, and speaking of traveling.

Research: I think I want to go into ubicomp, or ubiquitous computing, or (in my mind) "making cool things on a cell phone." But I've got so many thoughts about this too!

- I've got a little trepidation going into research, as it might be a weird world with less real feedback. People grumble about conferences a lot, because that's where success/failure is decided, by a few arbitrary people. In the real world, you can't argue too much, because success/failure is determined by people buying your stuff or not. I feel like research might be evolving toward a world where you don't just publish at conferences, you publish at conferences and make businesses and give talks at TED and who knows what else! That makes life more difficult. But it sounds fun.

- "cool things on a cell phone" sounds like the kinds of problems I want to solve. I like the creativity of "hey we've got this device, what can we do with it?" I've got no burning issues I really want to fix. But does it matter? So I make the next Wii-head-tracking or something... so what? (I think this is a thought I'll have to sorta let nag at me a little bit but not actively think about. It's important to do useful things. But I think it's also important not to obsess about doing useful things.)

Anyway, I might start three new blogs. Considering that programming, travel, and research will likely be important bits of my life for the next N years, might as well really focus on them. Plus, I'd like to make something that someone who doesn't know me might want to read. Like if I find out some real useful programming tips. There are a few on this blog, but very few, and very far between.

Blogging for the sake of blogging

- The new Doctor Who season finale is really good. The whole season was top notch: acting, writing, probably directing too but I didn't notice. If you're looking for (13*42/60=) 9 hours of light sci fi, including time travel and Britishness, I highly recommend it. This is season 5 (post-2005-reboot), and it's about as good a place to start as any.

- The Vocal Joystick is really cool. (2 min youtube; summary: controlling a mouse pointer or a robot arm with your voice. Vowel sound and volume are both factors.) This is what I was trying to do with Whistle Weasel, times 1000.

- Thai food remains my new favorite. Recommendations welcome (restaurants, recipes, whatever)!

- I like how the World Cup has gotten big enough to absorb even little old not-caring-about-sports-me into its fold. Also I like vuvuzelas.

- On this comic, the first panel seems good, while the second and third seem bad. I'm not going to try to generalize about this, because generalizing is apparently all I do all the time now.

As I sit down to close out this brilliant weekend,

I've got a new lungi, Outkast and Passion Pit on the stereo, a Doctor Who season-finale-part-1 queued up, a loving family enjoying Father's day in Cleveland, a wonderful group of friends here in Seattle, a GRE behind me, an exciting and promising future in front of me figuratively, and a plate of Thai food in front of me literally.

To quote Kurt Vonnegut, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."

Things that make me say:

Meh: I watch soccer for the first time in 4 years, it's USA-England, big game... and it ends as a 1-1 tie?

Eep: not being able to record policemen sounds pretty sci-fi dystopian.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha: Russian Who Wants to be a Millionaire

So cool: a font for each city!

I love living in a city that has these: SIFF and Ignite

Yes yes hells yes: Everything Jean-Pierre Jeunet, and particularly right now Micmacs.

On a kick again

This is pretty nice. I sometimes alternate between bits of feeling wonderful and feeling kinda out of it. Now I'm on an upswing. That's good.

On an upswing, everything is fast and colorful and energetic! And I say yes to things. I have physical energy to do things. I have willpower to resist things. I have mental energy to think about and plan things. I have ... interpersonal energy? ... to really care about people.

I remember a couple of these in recent history: while making Is it a Party? and after realizing I wanted to go to grad school. This one doesn't have such a cause. So why is it happening?

Blame it on a lot of things: nice weather, having allergy medicine again, making progress at work. Coming back from vacation maybe, but I felt not so great the first week or so after vacation. I did fast for a day on Memorial Day, and thought "wouldn't it be convenient if this were a turning point?" ... maybe it was, coincidentally or not.

Anyway, upswings all end... is this one different? I hope so. The difference this time could be that I'm more focused on compassion. Also, I realize that my previous goals were to minimize all that I don't want, and that approach wasn't working for me, so perhaps I can wisely refill my life now. I'm going a little easier on myself. Maybe I've learned something.

... uhh, talk about feelings on the internet much? whatever, I'm feeling good, I don't care what you think! plus, this is as close to a diary as I have, and I like to record these things.

Oh, unrelatedly, I jumped out of a plane last weekend. I quite recommend it.

Meta-social-network-problem

First, are you a grad student? Or anyone else who reads a lot of PDF's, and needs to save PDF's as well as metadata on all of them in the cloud, and maybe organize them in cool ways? How do you do it? What software do you use?

Second, how do I best broadcast the above request? I want it to go to everyone I know, but low-priority, so they just ignore it if they don't know. Blog -> Facebook, Buzz, and RSS reader, but it's in facebook as a "note", so most people may not read it. I think Twitter also -> Facebook and Buzz, but I'm not sure. In this case, I solved it by blasting everywhere. HI INTERNET I HAVE SOMETHING TO ASK YOU.

Oh nevermind, this is exactly the use case for Aardvark.

Self-control (again)

Is exhaustible. (skip the movie, transcript is fine.) Willpower is like a muscle.

Yet, it's super important. (read the long article or just take my word for it.) Okay, maybe not the marshmallow study as such. But still. Would you argue that willpower isn't crucial for personal success, worldly success, any kind of success?

Sure, there are tricks to help you improve your self-control. But it's not through just trying harder.

Anyway, we discriminate against people who don't have it. (I may have been thinking about this during the unfortunate Doctor Who episode "Voyage of the damned", in which there is a fat couple who really likes food. One character makes fun of them for eating all the time. He is a jerk; they are the salt of the earth.) We hate on them, and consider ourselves justified in doing so!

It seems particularly unjust to me. We judge people for lacking willpower, because they don't know the willpower-increasing tricks. That's like judging someone in America for not knowing Swahili. And we do this all the time: any time you say "that person is dumb because he was too lazy to do his homework" or "that person is fat because he eats too much and never exercises," you're judging someone for lacking willpower.

(I guess the answer here is just not to judge anyone. Increase the radius of beings who deserve your appreciation and concern to be all humans, not just all humans with enough willpower.)

Ever had sleep paralysis?

It's more fun if you know about it beforehand. Here's the wikipedia. Here's how my episode last night went:

I half woke up, and I thought there was someone in my room. For some reason, I thought it was my friend Pete, but then I looked over, and it wasn't- it was kind of a big lumbering dude, and I only say "dude" because he/she was big and lumbering; I couldn't really make out a face. I couldn't do anything. Then said person kinda laid across my chest sideways. This was a little inconvenient. I could still kinda breathe, but maybe a little less. I couldn't do much. I felt like I could see everything fine, except the person; it was like he had a perception filter or something. I could move my hands, except to get the person off me, and I could talk but not to the person.

Eventually he got up and stood in the corner of the room. Same thing: I couldn't see him or talk to him, although I felt awake. At this point it was really just kind of annoying. I was thinking "well, what if I roll out of bed, maybe hitting the ground would wake me up for real." Luckily, before I could, I was awakened by a text message.

This has happened to me I think once before, and I don't think it's unusual for most people to get it a couple times. I bet if you didn't know about it, it'd be terrifying. Because you do, hopefully it'll be only a little bit scary, probably kind of annoying, and more interesting.

(side note: I guess this qualifies as lucid dream #3. But "I know I'm having sleep paralysis" is a lot less fun than "I know I'm dreaming!")

Androidespair

In the last year or so, I've launched maybe four legitimately-sized personal projects: The Voting Game, Dinnnner, Is It A Party?, and Whistle Weasel.

The Voting Game still exists, albeit with some big flaws (when you create a game, it's public; the workflow is unintuitive; doesn't really support people not voting for certain things; you can accidentally delete an object). Dinnnner crashed and burned due to issues with people not getting emails; plus, it was not really any better than a mailing list. (I didn't talk about it much; don't worry about it.) Is It A Party? is still rocking, for all four of its users (literally), and Whistle Weasel... has issues:

First of all, it crashes if you try to use a Motorola Droid, despite Android's attempts to be the one OS for a lot of phones. Second of all, I just found out the new version of Android (2.2, or "Froyo" as it's unfortunately known) changes something about the audio recorder calibration. So even if you whistle a very high note, you can't get more than 1/4 of the way up the screen. This makes gameplay less than fun, to say the least.

What to do?

1. I hard-coded the calibration values; I could just re-hard-code them with a value that works on Froyo. But then, if you still had the old OS (Eclair), it would not work.

2. Add a new startup flow where it shows the splash screen, then there's a screen that says "whistle as low as you can", then "whistle as high as you can", then it lets you actually start the game. This would be a lot of work.

3. Scrap it.

4. Hard-code the Froyo value so at least it's on my phone and I can demo it as a party trick, then otherwise scrap it.

I'm leaning towards #4, and here's why: I'm not interested anymore. I didn't set out to make an enterprise-grade bit of software, or even a game that's worth $1. I set out to make a silly game that you control by whistling. Also, my code is not very good; the audio recording code I could probably fix up, but I think I've made big mistakes with the UI code design, which is to say, there is not much UI code design.

So what's the big deal? I feel like I'm trying to build up a portfolio. Sure I can write servers at work, but I can also write mobile apps, see? And if it's alive and kicking, I can point to it as a legit Thing That I've Done. (why? I dunno...) Also, I've hit the UI-code-sucks snag with all four of my side projects, and while they've been mostly small enough to limp along with ugly code, I've never relished diving back in to the UI. I'd like to actually make a solid maintainable program.

But I think I should let it go. I'm learning each time, so maybe next time when I'm interested in another program, I can design it better from the start. Software is transient anyway, and any energy maintaining this would be more energy not spent doing something else exciting and useful, and either way, nobody will remember it in 5 years. Finally, I should really lighten up: writing software on the side while you already have a full-time job writing software is hard work. Sheesh, this is supposed to be fun!

Side note: pretty much all of my problems with Android have come from the AudioRecord class, which is supposed to let you record audio and fiddle with it on-the-fly (as opposed to saving it to a file). I think my next project should not involve recording audio.

More thoughts about Thailand

I take it back about Thailand being kind of like India. In India, we had adversaries. In Thailand, we had helpers. It felt safer than lots of places in the states, walking across Chiang Mai at midnight. (okay, not Bangkok; I'll take a mulligan on that one.) Maybe I'm more confident or more naive now. Also, large parts of Chiang Mai are tourist ghettos.

Here's a story about A. how I was a hero this one time, and B. it sparked some thoughts or something; it's going to sound self-congratulatory, but I kinda want to make sure I remember it, although I probably will anyway. So I'm riding my motorbike around Doi Suthep National Park, where there is:

- a temple

- some nature

and I had already been to the temple so I went past it this time. Signs pointed to a Hmong village. Y'know, cool, so I went there, though the LP called it "touristy." Okay, it was touristy. But I wandered into the Royal Something Conservation Project HQ for the city, and a couple young folks working there sold me some coffee and discussed lychees with me. (along with what they did, where I'm from, etc.) And this guy had a crossbow-ey thing that shot bamboo arrows, and for 10 baht (30 cents) I got to take 3 shots at a papaya. So this was touristy, but still awesome. I'll come back to this later.

So then I rode on, and the road got more smaller, then more dirt-like, then more bumpy, but there were signs to another Hmong village. Might as well; I was really digging just being outside and exploring. Eventually I found it. No tourists, just people living their lives. So I felt a little out of place, wandered a little, and left. Followed another path until I met another biker who warned me that it was too bumpy ahead. Okay, so I turned around. I noticed he was pushing his bike, so I asked if it was broken. Now I think Thai was not his first language- probably Hmong or whatever he spoke in his village. But between the two of us, I found out he was out of gas. He was going to push the bike the 1/2 mile back to the village! So I offered him a ride back. Hooray, I thought, I did a Good Deed today.

Then with some broken Thai, he showed me around his village. His name was Yen. We sat at a place with a view and watched the krung-bins fly into the Chiang Mai sa-nam-bin. That was neat, thanks, Yen! But I should be going. Why don't you get some gas and I'll drive you back to your bike. Pantomime plus my broken Thai: oh, you have no money for gas. No prob, I'll buy you a liter. He didn't understand.

Then who comes along but another farang! Her name's Luna, she's from Russia by way of Vietnam, and she was not having a good day. She was not digging the northern Thailand way of life. It wasn't jingoism or Ugly-Americanism, as she lived in Vietnam for years. I think it was just that certain areas don't sit well with some people. 's fine with me, I like hills, but to each his/her own. She didn't know Thai, but she needed gas.

And my bits of Thai came through: as I interpreted between Luna and Yen, we all understood that she needed gas. And then "hai kun" came to me: "to give to you." "She'll buy some gas, and I'll buy some gas to give to you." Understanding all around! We then went to some guy's shop who sold gas in 1L liquor bottles and worked it out!

And it didn't feel unsafe, or weird at all, like I was being taken advantage of. That's nice. Tourism feels nice in Thailand. It's big (6% of their GDP; don't know what ours is) but as a result, they're totally cool with it. I didn't encounter any anti-tourist snobbery like you get in the US or Europe. If you're into traveling, I recommend Thailand.

One of my "someday" projects:

a small keyboard, plus a tiny LCD screen. All you can do is type text files and save them. Then I guess it's got a USB key or something so you can plug it into a real computer to get the text off of there. I'm just incapable of actually writing anything these days, and phone keyboards are right out, so I have to find a little bit of internet if I want to blog while I wait for a flight.

I guess just a keyboard that plugs into a phone would work fine; then I could just use whatever notepad program. In fact, they probably make those. I should look into this.

Point is, can we talk for a minute about Thai food? And where has it been all my life? I've fancied myself a bit of an Indonesian chef (despite the fact that the closest I've ever been to the place was its colonial oppressor), a Japanese chef (despite the fact that I'm not really okay with buying a lot of fish) and an Indian chef (despite the fact that Indian food is so heavy the beatles should have written "I Want You/Indian Food Is So Heavy")

I sort of wrote it off kinda like I've written off China and Africa for now: I'm sure it's great, but it's a whole vast world that I haven't even started to explore, and I have a lot of other interests to check out first. I didn't know what I was missing, and here's maybe why: our culture has really uneven food experiences. Your day-to-day Western food might be pretty mediocre, and then once a month you go out to a fancy restaurant and it's awesome. So great Italian or French restaurants really exude confidence. They say "you are having a special meal right now!" On the other hand, great Thai restaurants cost $8-12, have some pretty average decor, and the food tastes very good. They don't aim to be the best meal you've had all year. And the thing is, they don't have to. In Thailand, I had pretty consistently great food, every meal, every day. It's all fresh, it's all cooked by experts, and it's all cheap. If you live in a world like that, you don't need to have occasional splurges. It's like fresh air: living in Seattle, the idea of an oxygen bar seems absurd, but if you lived in Shanghai, it'd probably seem like a nice indulgence. Needless to say, having pretty great food/air all the time is probably healthier than these things being mostly crummy but occasionally awesome.

Here are some reasons that Thai food is great:

- most dishes use only one pot.

- Thai food all uses mostly the same ingredients.

- it's cheap; even if you eat meat, you just buy a little and cut it up. You're not serving steaks.

- it's healthy. Probably the unhealthiest thing in it is the white rice/noodles. (note that "coconut milk has saturated fat therefore it's bad" is false.)

- it's easily vegetarianable by just not using meat. (most dishes still hold up well without it.)

- there are pretty well-defined Thai flavors and dishes.

- so many fruits!

Here are some reasons it's not so great:

- there are a lot of ingredients.

- kaffir lime leaves and galangal are still not in your local mega-grocery, and often not in your local Chinese grocery.

- it's not really fit for Seattle's climate; here you don't get all the nice fruits.

So that's where my cooking interests are going to be heading these days. Any of you enjoy Thai cooking, and have any recommendations?

Let's start unpacking this trip now

while it's still fresh in my mind. Also I have an evening with nothing to do, and really, typing up some things about this trip sounds like a fun thing.

(I'm really quite rubbish at having fun. I always feel like there's someone over my shoulder saying "you're not having enough fun!" or "you're not having the right kind of fun!" So that's kind of annoying. But the thing is, the voice is usually right. Often it gets me to do things that I wouldn't otherwise have done, and I'm usually glad when I do things. How to benefit from this go-get-em voice while not going crazy? Good question.)

Enough about me! Some thoughts about Thailand:

- Thailand at first seems like India. It's hot and there are elephants. Everything is cheap. A lot of people are poor. But Thailand is at least kind of reasonable. You shouldn't drink the water from the tap, but you can trust a glass of water in a restaurant. You should haggle a little, but most people aren't trying to rip you off hardcore. Buses and trucks are overfull, but like "dog carrying two bags" full, not like "hamster carrying a credenza" overfull. And yeah, it's not a super rich country, but there's not so much suffering all over the place.

- That said, the government is a mess right now. I guess there's an uneasy peace where the main protesting in Bangkok has stopped. But still, the internet cafe where I'm typing this (in Chiang Mai) will close in 1/2 hour (2 1/2 hours early) because there's a curfew in effect. Whoa! From what I understand, the country has a case of urban-vs-rural, where Bangkok has the money and power and everyone else is not too pleased. Plus they want democracy or something, and they see that "their man" Thaksin Shinawatra got ousted from power a few years ago and they want him back. I guess? But also, Thaksin is super corrupt. Good idealism! Bad particular choice of hero.

But what do I know, I'm just a kid. Wikipedia knows more, as it always does, although the neutrality of this article is disputed.

- Geez oh man, don't come to Thailand in May! What are you thinking?! It's about a trillion degrees. Note that "35" means "95", and "40" means "104". Plus it's humid.

- Memo to my future self, if I am ninety years old or living in a city where biking is infeasible: get a Vespa! Oh yeah, Mom and Dad stop reading now. I rented a little scooter over the last couple of days and had a really splendid time zipping along the hills and valleys of northern Thailand. You get a lot of the benefits of a bike (wind in your face, easy to park, fun to ride) and some partial benefits of a bike (doesn't use a ton of gas, is relatively cheap) and a couple other ones (you can go long distances, even if it's suffocatingly hot and humid out; you can carry a passenger). What a good deal! Mom and Dad you can start reading again now. It was totally safe, the roads here are great and pretty empty, the bike went like 35mph, I had a super helmet, and did I mention how totally safe I am?

(plus how it was totally the greatest for serious?)

- Prices of things, in case you're considering a trip:

a guest house room with A/C in Chiang Mai: $12

overnight sleeper train with A/C: $28

daytime train for a few hours, 3rd class: like a dollar

meal at a night markety stall which is guaranteed delicious: also like a dollar

meal at a restaurant: $2-3

coffee (this is getting popular, especially up north. that is cool.): $1-2

the best fruit ever, in a bag: under $1

1hr massage: maybe $6

cross-town taxi in Bangkok: $5

you get the idea, things are super cheap. Which does change your life: certain things become non-decisions. I didn't have to decide whether I really wanted to rent a bicycle for a day, because it cost $1.50. I used it for a couple hours and returned it. This sort of non-decision is nice.

Okay, so about that curfew. Shop's closing up. More juicy details later.

Bangkok is stained, and it's not my fault

No, seriously, it's a mess. I'm safe, thankfully, and so is everyone else I know in Thailand, which means that violence is happening to strangers, which I guess is better than violence happening to people I know, weird as that is to say. It's a mess in the way that I was never even near any danger but, y'know, last week I was in a city that featured an army shooting its own citizens.

This week I'm in Chiang Mai, having a grand old time on vacation. Woo hoo!

Trip report to follow, and maybe I'll spout about the whole protest situation a bit or maybe not. But also to follow: we are about to celebrate the birthday of the one and only Mr. T on Friday, and if you'd like to receive the 2nd annual Mr. T's Birthday Letter (that is actually entirely about me and not about Mr. T), then send me an email or comment here or send me a facebook twitter foursquare digg twerp snit gropple and I'll put you on the list.

EDIT: I mean, if you want to be on the list, and you weren't last year, then send me a Buzz or something. If you got it last year, you'll get it again this year, like it or not!

Whistle Weasel, or APP THE SECOND

Can you whistle?

Did you ever think "man I am so tired of tapping on the screen to play my cell phone games, I wish I could control one with the pleasant tones of my whistling"?

Can you find it in your heart to help out a poor hang-gliding weasel with a wicked hankerin' for pineapples?

Boy howdy, have I got the Android app for you. It's called "Whistle Weasel", and I am stoked to bring it to you for free. So get to the Android Market right now; you have no excuse not to download, rate, and review the snot out of that sucker. You might even enjoy playing it! You might enjoy even more watching your friends sit there and whistle at their goddamn cell phones!

(also, if you get a high number of pineapples, post it here. if yours is THE HIGHEST, I will let you request a feature that I will try a little harder than usual to bring you in the next version.)

Do you couchsurf?

If so, and if we know each other, would you please vouch for me? I'm just starting on the site, and would like to surf in a couple weeks, but I understand that someone with approximately no history looks kind of sketchy.

In other news, I woke up yesterday at 5 AM, and for some reason, I have the sort of personality that thinks it totally makes sense to go biking a lot instead of going back to sleep. I went to Seward Park and almost saw Mt. Rainier, almost at sunrise. It was cloudy. I froze my toes and had the best croissant, as Cafe Presse opened. I think the baristas didn't quite know what to make of me. I didn't quite know what to make of myself.

I hesitate to blog about this sort of thing, as it must make people think I'm Calvin's dad, or some kind of crazy outdoorsman. Really, it's a part of my personality that pops up only rarely, and I will not join you if you want to do a similar adventure, because you can't plan these things. Nevertheless, I hope I never lose this part of my personality.

In other other news, I'm quite excited about things! It may be a time of great change! I may have just planned the next like decade of my life! I'll keep mum though, because I'm really just throwing out theoretical ideas; we'll see what actually comes to fruition.

Facebook, you're done.

Up until now, I thought the "waah my boss saw the photos of me at a party" crowd should just use better judgment, or edit their preferences better or something. But today, I tried to understand my Facebook privacy settings, and I couldn't. Or at least, I'm not confident that I understand the ramifications of all the choices I've made in their labyrinthine privacy settings.

I used to think that Facebook maybe cared about its users, but sometimes had an experiment go wrong. Or they were maybe going to change the game so the whole world cared less about privacy, and maybe this would help society or something.

I feel sorry for Facebook, really; they're in a new industry where it's not clear what you can and can't do, and if you step over the line, the whole internet blasts you. Furthermore, with so much data about everyone, there are all these cool things you could do if people would let you, but to do them, you have to get people's permission. And more permissions for more things -> more complexity.

But maybe they should just quit while they're ahead. Today, Facebook haters, I stand with you. To try to use Facebook without accidentally making huge privacy errors is too much of a headache. And if Facebook actually cared about its users, it would take much bigger steps to make sure this situation didn't happen. I'm not deleting my account, because it's useful for its basic purpose (remembering people's email addresses and stuff), but I'm sure not going to be adding more information there.

New Busy

Can I just talk for a moment about how bad Hotmail's new ad campaign is? It's on buses and billboards and stuff, and it's about the "New Busy." Examples:

"The New Busy use cab drivers as therapists."

"The New Busy make beavers look lazy."

"The New Busy always keep a suitcase packed."

"The New Busy like to play Fill the Calendar."

Here's a photo of a bus.

Here's their nauseating site.

God! Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong! How could you be so wrong?! I'm probably someone they're trying to target with the "new busy" campaign. I want to vomit!

Here's someone else's summary of why. Here's my summary:

- the campaign is trying to "create a tribe" by offering a definition for your life.

- the campaign assumes that your life is defined by your achievements. This is false.

- the campaign assumes that, even if your life were defined by your achievements, you would want to admit that your life is defined by your achievements. This is false.

- finally, the campaign assumes that your achievements are defined by how "busy" you are. This is false.

Argh! This campaign is so incredibly poor. It is about three cuils of reasonable. The thought behind it is the reason that we all hate our lives these days. It might have flown in the 1950's. ("The New Busy buy a cookie-cutter house because it's faster!" "The New Busy mow their lawn with a gas-powered mower!" "The New Busy fast-forward their old Amos 'n' Andy tapes so they can listen to them twice as fast!") But it is about twelve steps backward in the 2010's.

In other news, I decided on my habit for this month-or-so; it is so blindingly obvious that I should have been doing it for years. It is this: I will sleep enough. And to ensure that I do so, no alarm clocks. Done! Easy! And because I am not NEW BUSY, this is not a problem.

Two nights ago, I was in Leh

Argh you can't link in titles. Leh. Of course I've never actually been there, but dreams are nice.

How are your habits going? Over the last 4 months, I've picked up 4 habits: listening to language tapes on my way to work, getting to work at 9, meditating daily, and not eating desserts. They've all been crumbling a bit, but still holding together. I get in to work at like 9 or maybe 10 but usually 9ish. My meditation is down to maybe 10 minutes per day. And after Easter hit, well, I've been eating desserts as if I had never resolved not to. (language tapes are still doing well. Pom pudh pasar thai dai nit noy khlap.)

In April, I thought maybe I'd resolve to practice my dual n-back skills, as improved working memory would be very nice. But maybe I'm better off doubling back and picking up on those habits I've let slide. (or a little of both. I can do dual 3-back pretty competently now, anyway.)

But otherwise, life is nice! Have you picked up any habits that have helped your life? Can I help you keep them?

Children International Again.

Have you met these people? Have you been able to walk away without feeling either like a terrible person or pissed off at them?

They're a charity where the deal is that you donate $22/month, and the money goes to one particular kid in a poor place. And of course it does all these wonderful things for this kid, vaccinations, education, etc. Anyway, they're very visible, at least around Seattle, because they have canvassers go out on the street to persuade you to sign up to sponsor a kid. And once you make eye contact, they will not take no for an answer!

So of course, this is annoying. I've met them twice before, I think, and never signed up; the first time, because you don't just sign up for a $262/year commitment on the street just like that, and the second time because I was so weirded out by the first time.

I met them again today. An affable lad named Tristan and a cute girl named Kat. Both of my general demographic (err, young, white, reasonably well-off). I could tell as soon as Tristan started talking to me that they were from Children International, because nobody else in my demographic approaches me on the street.

They gave me the whole spiel, I told them I'd met them before and didn't want to give them money, they continued their spiel and told me the details. Now, I don't want to give them money, but why not? I laid out my objections:

1. "They could be a scam." But I know they're not, I researched them before.

2. "You don't just sign up for a $262/year thing on the street." But I've researched them before, and in fact I am currently actively looking for places to give money to.

3. "It's just a band-aid, it doesn't get to the root causes of poverty." But it sounds like they know what they're doing, and they're on my side with this one. If kids are dying of dysentery or whatever, sure, they'll vaccinate kids against it, but they'll also get a well installed so the kids have clean water, and also by paying for a kid's education, maybe he'll become an engineer.

4. "You don't know the long-term effects." Of course not. And who knows, maybe this could turn out awful somehow. But that seems unlikely; it seems mostly likely that this could be mostly good, and that's about as good a solution as I know.

5. "You should do charity closer to home." Okay, that's not even MY objection. Sheesh. I like the idea of helping faraway kids just as much as helping nearby kids. (plus your dollar goes a lot farther in a faraway place.)

6. "They'll bully the kids. Force them to write letters and stuff. It's all imperialist-weird." From my prior internet research, this seems untrue. Plus, they're adamant about not putting the kids into a weird spot; they're secular, not pushing any agenda.

7. "I'll do it later. I'm doing things today; context-switching so I can think about poverty is not productive." But then I won't do it later. (have I ever before?)

8. "It's too much money." What? I am planning to give much more than that this year sometime to someone. Why not to these kids?

9. "This seems too easy. Donating money isn't that easy." Why not? Wouldn't this be the ideal charity; one that helps kids holistically, and then makes it easy on the donors too?

10. "They shouldn't be out on the street." Again, why not? These are not paid salesmen, they are young men and women who really care about what they're doing. Who better to raise money for an organization?

11. "They're an inefficient charity; give somewhere else where your money will be used more effectively." I don't think they are; looks like they're a 3-star organization where 82% or whatever of your money goes to aid.

I couldn't figure out any reason not to give to these folks! Besides that it felt too good to be true, and that it felt weird. And that I was angry at them, because whenever I tried to segue out and move on with my day and say "Well I'll look into it later" or something, they would not let it drop! But for a good reason: if they do, I'll never donate. But I still do not want to donate to them! But I can't figure out any reason why. It was this sort of terrible logic tornado that I used to get myself into more than I do now, and so I just at one point had to say "I am walking away now. Bye."

Argh! I guess the thing to do is to just not think about it, and continue with my philanthropic adventures to try to figure out what I actually want to donate to. But I guess I'm just curious: Have any of you done this? Or do you also hate these hard-selling fundraisers? Or are you also weirdly fascinated with them, kind of like Mormons or Scientologists?

More Musics

The Decemberists- The Crane Wife- So, title track is awesome. They're still the Decemberists, though. I can't decide if I think they're the Heroes of the 2010's, or if they still make music too long and whiny. I guess they need some filler to make stuff like the Shankill Butchers stand out more.

Basement Jaxx- Scars- You know, it's pretty fun, and easily digestible, and there are a lot of guest stars and stuff. It's practically a compilation. Varied, interesting tunes, pop through and through.

Movits!- Appelknyckarjazz- I don't get it. There's the novelty factor, but after that I don't really want to listen to it. I guess I'm incapable of really enjoying non-English music? (ugh.)

Owl City- Ocean Eyes- After the first listen, my friend Greg was making fun of it, and I said "oh shut up, you know it's just the Postal Service prequel that never existed." And then I promptly ate my words a couple listens later. Like turned to mild dislike turned to cavities. His lyrics are so bad. But unlike YACHT, I don't even want to like the character he's trying to be. I mean, maybe if he grew up a little bit he could make some really inspiring music! (and/or, y'know, become Ben Gibbard.) But somehow, that never happens, does it?

Phoenix- Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix- okay, counterexample. A couple albums ago (Alphabetical) I thought they made sappy lame music, and now they make this solid pop gem. In a league with, say, Peter, Bjorn, and John's Writer's Block. Best Alternative Album? Grammies are irrelevant, but this is not a terrible choice.

Belle and Sebastian- interruption. "Everything in its right place" just came on. Chills! Even a decade later! Okay, end interruption. Belle and Sebastian- the Life Pursuit- How do they still make such catchy, achingly pretty tunes? Maybe that Owl City guy should take songwriting lessons from Stuart Murdoch. For about twelve years.

Mika- Life in Cartoon Motion- Finally got this album. So good. I wanted to hate it for so long (because metacritic did!) but it is very _____, and eventually I usually come around to liking things that are very _____, for any value of ____. Burningman memories don't hurt. Care to stop being all cool and we can put on this album and dance around like fools?

Mika- The Boy Who Knew Too Much- so it's longer and not as consistently great. I mean, sophomore slump the way Arcade Fire did, where your first album is such a zinger it's hard to repeat.

Soul Coughing- Irresistible Bliss- this was fun to rediscover. Cool like a poetry reading.

Talking Heads- Speaking in Tongues- I didn't know they made another album as good as Remain in Light! Also, I feel like the Talking Heads rival the Beatles in "number of songs you have to have a passing knowledge of, in order to get pop culture references to this band." For example, Burning Down the House, Girlfriend is Better, and This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody). They're all stellar.

Bobby Birdman- New Moods- singer plus loops. Catchy pop (featuring his beautifully rich voice! think Jens Lekman). Probably produced for twelve dollars. Love this guy. Another dude I would go see in concert anytime.

Nosaj Thing- Drift- relaxy technoey squelchy goodness.

Orkestar Zirkonium- s/t- see Movits!. I want to like them very much; they are nice background music, and it sounds like you are not in the United States of A.

My Dear Disco- Dancethink- I'm getting tired of writing about music again but I wanted to shout out to these folks, because I really like this debut album. Do you know Tally Hall? They are also from Ann Arbor, and they also make colorful all-over-the-place music, a little amateurish but quite good. Throw in a dash of Portugal The Man, and video game music, particularly of the Final Fantasy and Sonic varieties.

Webcomics Top Three

I was just noticing, again, how I really like Hark! a Vagrant, and while we're on the subject of "things that are good", wanted to send you my beliefs about comics that are The Best, because I like making lists.

First of course must be Nedroid. Oh my, this one is wonderful.

Second would be the aforementioned Hark! a Vagrant. It blends dry humor with pretty good drawings. She injects a lot of personality, which is difficult when your characters are different each time. Well done.

In third place is Dinosaur Comics. All the pictures are the same every time. This pictorial laziness was a reason I used to hate xkcd. But like xkcd, it has nevertheless won me over. (bonus points whenever he plays with his own format by introducing God or raccoon and cephalopod neighbors.)

Honorable mention goes to Left-Handed Toons (especially ones of the form "10 bad comics"). Any recommendations of yours?

Let's do a music post

because I haven't in such a long while! I can't possibly recap everything I've been listening to, but I was struck recently by a couple songs that are really extraordinarily cathartically fist-pumpingly good (you know, in that way that I fist pump, like when a song just gets everything right all at once). But I like lists so I expanded that into a few songs that deserve list mentions. Let's start with that list:

1. Andrew Bird- Fake Palindromes: The rockinger this guy is, the better. There are two key moments in this song: 0:14 and 1:29, right after "... in her eyes for you" when you realize, crashing violin thing again, sounds like something big just happened!

2. Mika- Touches You: This, friends, is a splendid pop song. Three minutes and change, well produced, crispy drums, exuberance, and some falsetto. What splendid falsetto! Perfectly timed! Just when you think you know the last chorus is coming in, at 2:30, it's a falsetto verse instead. And then there's a chorus under it, and then when you're like "this is great, the layered chorus, I just wish the backing track would drop out" it totally does!

3. The Decemberists- The Crane Wife 3: at 3:14 when he was doing the kind of low chorus for a while and you're all "why don't you just sing the fuck out in you know a high octave Colin Meloy" and THERE IT IS.

Okay let's end this list at three, because now I'm reaching. Point is, these are great.

Now let's do an album roundup.

Eno/Byrne- My Life in the Bush of Ghosts- this is pretty atmospheric. I would gladly listen to it. But it has no words; I cannot remember it so much.

Byrne/Eno- Everything That Happens Will Happen Today- "I Feel My Stuff" sounds like it's the most fun track here, but then after a few listens you realize that "Strange Overtones" is the one that really sticks with you, and is so good it maybe deserves a place on the list above. Overall it sounds a little folky for me, and maybe hard to listen to a bunch of times.

Headlights- Some Racing, Some Stopping- borderline too twee for me but just borderline, I still like it.

Passion Pit- Manners and Chunk of Change EP- on first listen I knew this would be one of those albums that I remember. Their sound is fuzzy and friendly and rocking and I want to compare them to someone and I don't want to say Broken Social Scene because they're just my go-to fuzzy band. Uhh, a less frenetic Los Campesinos!? Anyway, I recommend.

Modeselektor- Hello Mom!- this is the kind of music I want to listen to but I don't know when. Almost backgroundey enough to be background music, but just a little in-your-face sometimes. I think this is "techno". I like it.

Throw Me the Statue- Moonbeams- I do not love, but do solidly like this album. Good straightforward Seattle pop. I absolutely would have bought it for my dad for Christmas, but there's a topless girl on the CD cover! TMTS, are you listening?

Venetian Snares- Detrimentalist- this is a caffeine nightmare. Avoid, unless you're into that sort of thing.

Daedelus- Denies the Day's Demise- this... well, his live show is so wonderful, because he is so charming, he has such cool gadgets, he's really into it, and there are so many sounds coming into your ears at once! It doesn't translate awesomely into a CD. (still, he puts on a great show.)

Daft Punk- Alive 2007- I wouldn't say it's harder, better, faster, or stronger (see what I did there?), but it is certainly more. Good if you'd like to listen to Daft Punk one more time. (see what I did there again?)

Fiery Furnaces- I'm Going Away- speaking of more, this band is only capable of making more. If you also like more of them, or also dig their autistic stage presence and lyrics, or also have a weird crush on Eleanor Friedberger, this is a record for you. Also, do let me know I'm not the only one.

YACHT- See Mystery Lights- grew on me grew on me. You're not allowed to get on my "good" list with such lame lyrics, and noncommittal stage presence, but somehow they did. I can't tell if they take themselves seriously. If so, they're all about Illuminati and secret religions and symbolism and stuff; more likely, they like the words "illuminati" and "secret religion" and figured it's a good shtick for their band. But they're a little catchy! You might like it.

Look, let's pick this post up later. It's getting Too Long.

"Is it a Party?" LIVE in the App Store!

All you iphoners: you can get it now! I strongly suggest that you do! I suppose I am biased.

In other news, I tracked my happiness again. And found... nothing. All the scatterplots are all over the map. Well, so it goes. Guess there's more to "happiness" than one number. (of course, right?)

Why everyone always loses at gambling

You always hear about people coming back from Vegas having lost big. A small percentage of people win big. However, you may also know that, if you make smart bets*, the house edge is only, say, 1 or 2%. So you'd imagine, if you had 100 friends, maybe 49 would go to Vegas and win and 51 would lose.

Ah, but here's the trick: if your friends each took $1000 to Vegas, bet it all at once on one of these low-house-edge bets, and stopped there, you'd have 49 friends who won and 51 friends who lost. But that's not how we gamble. I might sit down at a table with $100 and bet $5 until I lose, in which case I'm trivially guaranteed to lose.

Or you might play like me. I thought "aha, I am a clever one. I will sit down at a table with $x, and if I double my $x, I will shrewdly leave the table. Thus my two exit points are $2x and $0; I have a 49% chance of hitting the first and a 51% chance of hitting the second, so I will likely not lose all the time."

But that's not how things work! If the house edge is 2%, like in this example, you basically lose 2% of your money on every bet! The longer you play, the less likely you are to hit $2x, and the more likely you are to hit $0.

How much more likely? You could probably math it out. But I gave up math for programming, so here's a bit of python you can copy and paste:

#!/usr/bin/python

#

import random

startingMoney = 50

bet = 5

wins = 0

losses = 0

for i in range(10000):

money = startingMoney

while 1:

result = random.randint(0,99)

if result >= 49:

money -= bet

else:

money += bet

if money <= 0:

losses += 1

break

elif money >= 100:

wins += 1

break

print "wins: " + str(wins)

print "losses: " + str(losses)

Run it a few times. The house edge here is set to about 2%, corresponding to the 49/51 thing we discussed earlier. You'll find that you win about 40% of the time, though. Ratchet the house edge up to 4% (change that 49 to a 48), and you'll win only 30% of the time! Terrible! And this is not even counting the fools who play slots or those goofy table games or whatever.

Or, you could just accept the folk wisdom that "everyone always loses in Vegas", and you wouldn't be too far off.

* AFAIK, the "good bets" are the pass line and odds in craps and 3-2 blackjack with solid basic strategy. And poker, if you're good. But that's a whole different story...

And... my first mobile app ever is live.

Is It A Party?, now on Android.

Scan that sucka! Download it! Shake it, yell at it, rate it like ten thousand goddamn stars!

After all, we've got Is It Tuesday? to compete with.

Goodnight world! I'll catch you on the flip side of Las Vegas.

Wait for it...

"Is it a Party?" is coming out soon! So very soon! Sooner on your Android device than on your iphone because Android developers don't have to wait for Apple to approve anything!

In the meantime, working on this app has reminded me of college. Assignments that really take more time than I have, but they're pretty fun because they're all toy problems, so sometimes I don't mind staying up late to work on them. Because I keep getting that little jolt of "you changed something else and now it works!" which keeps me awake wayyy past the point of optimal brain functioning.

It makes me a little loopy and irresponsible! My apartment is a wreck; there are dirty dishes in the sink. I NEVER leave dirty dishes in the sink. But the app has to get done by tomorrow, because I'm leaving for the weekend... some things are just more important. And it's so exciting: discovering mobile apps is like discovering paint for the first time.

So, give me a couple weeks to recover. Then... anyone want to make another mobile app?

In other news, I got a cavity filled yesterday, without novocaine. It was really not so bad. And I'm going to talk up how it's not so bad because I guess people hate going to the dentist a lot or something, but I think it's all just a feedback loop. Do you have a dentist appointment coming up? It is not so bad!

Also, drills in your teeth: what an interesting feeling! I decided I was going to frame it as such, and not as "pain" or whatever, and I think it helped. It was a little painful, but mostly it was just a brand new sensation, and kind of like food and countries, I like new things. Plus, when I thought of it like that, it was like I was taking control of the situation, and that made it easier, I think.

So, do you ... design stuff?

Or draw stuff? Or something? Gary and I have this app that is quite functional and needs like 4 screens' worth of design. It tells you whether you're at a party or not. Very simple. But I realized, after trying to do it, that I am no good at making apps look all professional-like. Let me know if you're interested.

In other news (actually the same news): Startup Weekend was really great. You know that whole concept of "flow"? You get it when you do things that you're good at, and are really engrossed in. I haven't had a big hit of it for a while, but I sure did this weekend, and that was really nice.

A lot of people made cool things! I'm impressed at these big teams that can get something done in a weekend.

At the same time, I'm sick of trendy software. If I hear the words "social media", "twitter", "facebook", or "foursquare" again I will punch something.

Social software is bacon. It tastes good at first. It tastes good at second, too. But these days, everyone has figured, well, it tastes great, let's get more of it! I don't have enough (bacon/social software)! Furthermore, I'm making a new (food/software); why don't I make it hip and modern by adding (bacon/facebook). We can have (bacon/social software)-fests! We'll joke about how everything is better with (bacon/twitter).

Well, who knows. Maybe it's great. And who am I to talk: I just spent a weekend making a dumb phone app.

Which brings us full circle! If you can make said phone app look sweet, let me know.

Take 10 seconds to help me out. This is not even an online petition or survey.

Okay, so. I'm doing this thing called Startup Weekend. A bunch of people who want to start businesses get together and pitch ideas, then people clump together and work on those ideas for a weekend. Maybe they start a business about it.

(If you know me, you know that I don't at all want to start a business right now! But I do like hacking on things and learning things etc, and I'm interested to learn how these startuppy things go and how people make software things quickly.)

So while other people are working on all these actual serious things where they're going to make money or save the world or social network facebook linkedin twitter mashup foursquare blaaaaaah, a guy named Gary and I are making an app called "Am I in a bar or not?"

The premise is simple: you know how often you hold up your phone to Shazam a song, and it's all noise and Shazam doesn't work? Well, there's a lot of background noise there, which is a lot of data... what can we learn from that data? How about whether you're in a bar or not? So our app will work like Shazam: you hold up your phone, get an audio sample, and it tells you whether you're in a bar or not.

Here's where you can help: we need data points. We need data from you when you're in a bar, we need data from you when you're not in a bar. So please, record 10 seconds or so of audio with your iphone or whatever you have (an app called "hifi recorder" works well on android, unless you know a better one), send it to amiinabar@gmail.com, with the subject line "in a bar" or "not in a bar", accordingly.

Kthxbai.

When I finish this post I am going to hit "Enter" with such a flourish...

Have I mentioned "What Japan Thinks"? It's one of the oddest blogs I read, in that it doesn't really fit into "webcomics", "enlightenment", "travel", or "friends' blogs". I don't really think you can get a sense of "what a whole country thinks" by reading surveys, but I think you could do worse. Still, it's not super entertaining; I'm considering no longer reading it. But then a post like this comes along and it's great: what girls do to appear cute and what guys do to appear cool.

I mean, I know I always fall for girls who say "upsadaisy" quietly when they lift things. (Only quietly, mind you.) That's why I hope to attract them by leaving a toothpick hanging out of my mouth and staring into the distance.

(waves finger) Indeed!